Creative Ideas for Your Telephone Answering Machine
Fun With The Phone
Nearly everyone has a phone answering machine or a voice-mail system of some kind. And most outgoing phone messages sound something like this: “Hi, we are away from the phone, but at the sound of the tone please leave your name and number and we will call you back as soon as we can.” Very functional. Very boring. Not funny. Not memorable. Here are some ideas for adding color to your outgoing message.
1. There are some commercially recorded messages (usually found at bookstores) which you could use for your outgoing message. These are normally musical parodies or celebrity voices. I have a cassette tape of outgoing musical messages from country to 50s to Elvis, each with its own humor twist. A 50s doo-wop style message might sound something like this:
“Don’t hang up! Doo Doo (sung as in back-up for a 50s doo-wop style song)
No, don’t you do it!
You dialed the phone. Doo Doo
So talk into it!
Leave your name and number too
We will get right back with you!
So don’t hang up!”
2. Look for a friend who has an interesting voice to record your outgoing message. For example, a fun variation is to have a sophisticated British voice speaking as your butler. What ever their character-voice specialty is, put a twist to it and brighten your message.
3. What if your phone answering machine was not answered by a person? “Hello, this is the stove. John hates it when I answer the phone, so please do not tell him. Leave your message and I will put it on the back burner until he returns home.”
4. Another idea: “Hello. If you are calling for Tom, please press one. If you are calling for Marilyn, please say two. If you are calling for Jerry, please hold up three fingers.”
5. Use the rule-of-three to break a pattern and set a funny line: “If I am unable to answer the phone it is because I am either saving the world from crime, solving the global hunger problem, or taking a nap. At the sound of the tone, leave a message, and I will call you back when I wake up.”
6. I found a device called a Voice-Changer in a toy store. In the past, I have recorded an outgoing message with a mechanical robot voice and the voice of a child. The device takes your voice and converts it to something different.
7. Have someone record your message in a foreign language and then add a twist at the end. It could sound something like this: “Quy vi muon biet them chi tiet ve van de nay ,xin cho so dien thoai cung ten ho,va chung toi se tra loi ngay khi nhan duoc loi nhan cua quy vi. Cam on. (then, add in your own voice) If you are wondering what that means, at the sound of the tone, please leave your name and number.” This may look lengthy, but takes only 17 seconds.
8. Here is another idea: “Hello……. Hello??……. Oh, I forgot, I am not at home. Please leave your message at the sound of the tone.”
9. Or try this one: “Hi I am away from the phone. No, actually, I am here, right now, recording this message. But I have this feeling that, by the time you call, I might be gone. Please leave your message at the sound of the tone.”
10. If the outgoing message is for a business line, be cautious about being too silly. Cute, off-the-wall ideas work best for your home phone.
11. Remember the basic principle: Less is More. Avoid outgoing messages that are too long.
12. These are just a few ideas. But the best tip is to find ideas and twists of your own. When something fun comes to mind, give it a try.
May 2nd, 2006 at 2:58 pm
I do kids entertainment AND can never fiqure out a cute way to do my answering machine. Help please. thanks carol
May 2nd, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Since you are a professional clown, maybe you could try some sound effects associated with your clown character.
Hi this is Ms Match.
(honk honk)
I’m away from the phone.
(train whistle)
I’m glad you called.
(whee whistle)
Leave a message and I’ll call you right back!
January 1st, 2007 at 9:42 am
Here is mine, “I may be in, I may be out, but either way there is some doubt. Leave a message if you will and when your done and had your fill, someone here will call you soon, prior to or afternoon. If theres news that you must tell, you may reach me on my cell.
January 2nd, 2007 at 2:33 am
How about: “Hi, this is TOBO GEEGIO (insert clown name) and I have a lot of plates in the air right now…soooo…leeeeave a mess…message at the tone CRASH! (if you can find a sound effect of glass breaking or break something yourself)
September 15th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
Oh my gosh, these are hysterical! Number 3 and 4 made me LOL!
Probably the most annoying message is the one my sons and his friends put on their cell phones…”Hi, yah, ok, what!, what did you say?? I can’t hear you (and you hear a ton of people in the background like they’re at a party or something)..then you hear..”oh nevermind, I’m not here right now, just leave a message”…
It’s soooo annoying, (lol)..but funny too..After you’ve screamed into the phone ten times to speak above the noise in the background – you do feel like an idiot.
Kids.
Barb
June 10th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
lol those are pretty funny. However I found mine online and this is it.
You know what I hate about voicemail messages? They go on and on, wasting your time. I mean, all they really need to say is, “We aren’t in, leave a message.” That’s why I’ve decided to keep mine simple and short. I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. BEEEP
May 5th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
hilarious!!! this is mine…
Hello? Hello? Heeey How You Been? Hold On a second….
Wow i 4got 2 tell you im not home so leave ur name and message
and i promise ill call back.bye!
June 13th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
The sun will always shine, the birds will always sing, Paige isn’t here so she didnt hear the phone ring, leave a message after the tone, she’ll call you back when she gets home
^^ thats mine but instead of after the tone, it says “leave a message after the beep, shell call you back in a peep”
its in a song and its adorable <3
June 20th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
those are kinda ….lame. idk.
mine’s, “Hey sorry i missed you im out hunting vampies and chasing the evil gnome that’s hunting my unicorn around my magical garden. If you need me ill be down at the mental institute. And if you can’t make it just leave a message. i need to prove to my theripist i have real friends”.
it sound long but its not. all my friends tell me not to pick up so they can show their friends. but my boyfriend says i need to make a new one. is only been 2 years since i made it. can you think of anything funnier than that?
June 30th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
My own alteration of Samy’s message.
“Hello. I’m not available at the moment. I’m out hunting vampires. I was chasing the evil gnome that was hunting my unicorn around my magical garden. But the leprechaun caught him in a pixy trap. He barely fit. Then we took Wizard hair and tied him in a tree by his toes. If you need me ill be down at the mental institute. They say I can’t miss any more of my medications. And if you can’t come by and visit, just leave me a message. I need to prove to my therapist that I have real friends. I only have 12 more years till I get out. We should totally throw a party then!”
Its kinda long, but I think it rox sox!
July 22nd, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I like this one the best.
Hi this is (your name) psychic agency. I know who you are and what you want so when you hear the tone hang up!
August 10th, 2009 at 11:02 am
hey this is mine i made up…
yo yo yo
this is (ur name) phone an shes not ahome
she dosent wanta tlk to u so leave her along
she might b asleep or in the shower to leave ur name and number and shell call u back in bout an hour
freaky freaky fress word
June 14th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
this is what mine is…
hey my name is (your name) and yah know what i got?
(echo) what do yah got?
i got a phone thats ringing a lot
(echo) ringing a lot
vibratin and a beepin too
(echo) uh huh uh huh
leave a message and ill get back to you
January 2nd, 2011 at 8:41 am
I “borrowed” this from someone I worked with:
Hi. This is “Smith’s Summer Home. Some’er home and some’er not, and the ones that are home can’t come to the phone right now. So please leave your message at the beep and we’ll return your call as soon as possible.
April 14th, 2011 at 3:39 pm
This is Kelly’s voice mail.
At the moment I’m busy doing something totally awesome.
Leave your name and number and I’ll call you back once awesome levels have dropped.
June 7th, 2011 at 7:28 pm
I have two kids who love telling knock knock jokes to everyone. So ours say.
knock, knock…Who’s there?…Where not so leave a message
September 30th, 2011 at 2:32 am
Mine says. Hello this is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic recording device. Think about your name, think about the reason for your call. And think about leaving your number. And I may think about calling you back. Have a great day.
January 12th, 2012 at 9:30 pm
Hi You’ve reach the lines of (your name) Please leave your name and number and I’ll call you right back. ……………If this is an emergency, ……..call ……………….nine-one-one ! BEEP.
January 12th, 2012 at 9:46 pm
(Start off as if you were Expecting their call ! )
Hey !!! I’m glad you finally called !! Woo hoo !! Man I was really waiting for you !! (sound really excited)
(have someone from a distant yell your name and ask for your immediate help, …..or something )
Then abruptly say, ” Shoot I gotta go !! ”
(as you begin to run off) yell out, ” leave your name and ….number ……. and messssaaaage toooooo !!!! (as you scream into the distant) BEEP !