Contest Results — Twisted Movie Titles — Creative Humor Writing

What a fun contest!  Over 500 entries.  We’ll be sharing about 65 of them with you.  Your favorite may not be at the top of the list.  Your favorite may not even be on the list.  Even our eight judges (speakers and improv players) don’t all agree with the results.  I submit cartoon captions every week with some friends to the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest and we always wonder why OUR lines are not selected!  That’s the subjective nature of humor.  The true fun and value comes from creating your own lines.  Terrific humor writing by all who entered this month’s Twisted Movie Titles Contest.  The writers who submitted the top three entries will receive gifts from blogging expert Ted Demopoulos.  Enjoy reading the lines we’ve listed below:


So White — Seven dwarves teach a princess about diversity issues.
     Paula Frederick, Scituate, Massachusetts


DOS Boot — A comedy about a German U-boat having a problem starting up a very old IBM computer.
     Gill Krebs, Charleston, South Carolina


Butch Cassidy and the Lapdance Kid — In 1903, Butch opens a strip club near a mining camp in Carson City.
     Frank Roth, Washington DC

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

Just look at all that sand! — Prequel to Dune.

When Hairy met Sally — A love story between a man and his electrolycist.
Ben-Her — A transsexual musical.

Crappy Days — Just the lousy parts of 1950’s America.

Pilates of the Caribbean — Suck in your gut for an adventure on the high seas.

Pulp Diction — Evil professor, cute coeds, the power of enunciation.

The Umpire Strikes Back — A sports epic whereby the Stars Wars team challenges the entire galaxy to a baseball game.

The Wizard of Bras — The story of the founder of Victoria’s Secret.

The Perfect Strom — The biography of America’s oldest Senator.

Saving Ryan O’Neal — Based on a true story of uncontrollable anger and a dysfunctunal family.

You’ve Got Spam — Sequel to You’ve Got Mail.

Mission Impossible III — Perfect Marriage starring Tom Cruise.
Conan: The Domestic — Forced to abandon his barbaric lifestyle, Conan takes a job changing dirty diapers.

Raiders of the Lost Bark — Indiana Jones’ adventures take an unexpected turn when his intrepid companion, Lassie, goes missing.

Mystic Liver — Hannibal Lector is drawn to the charms of a fortune teller.

The Green File — Only the principal knows what goes on your permanent record.

Some Like It Lukewarm — An updated version of the Monroe Classic.

L.A. Coincidental — A psychic gossip columnist is a serial killer. 

American Beautyrest — A documentary following the production of the last mattress made in America.

Dr Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb — A bio-pic of Roger Ebert.

12 Angry Men: My year coaching in the NBA

Fantasy Rhode Island — Mr Roarke’s supernatural island isn’t even an island.

It’s a Wonderful Slice — Clarence helps himself to angel food cake.

Old Cellar — Gripping story of home canning and the vacuum seal process.

Stinky Feet — Happy Feet in smell-o-vision.

Flamer Vs Flamer — The tragic story of  the rise and turbulent demise of the guys from Queer eye for the staight guy.

Fantastic Fore — Tiger woods autobiography
Bored Free — Screenplay taken from the campaign voluteers journals that traveled with Al Gore on his 2000 election year tour.

A Star Is Bjorn — The story of a  Swedish tennis player who stages a comeback after many years off the circuit.

Tombs of Endearment — A pair of lovers in a movie about their construction of elaborate mausoleums for their loved ones.

Zorba the Geek — The story of an international computer hacker in Crete.

The Turd Man — Joseph Cotton arrives in post-war Vienna to start an organic fertilizer business.

The World According to AARP — Robin Williams stars in the tragic story of the senior-citizen movement.

Florence of Arabia — A cross-dressing hero strategically aids Bedouins in their battle with the Turks.

The Umpire Strikes Back — A sports epic whereby the Stars Wars team challenges the entire galaxy to a baseball game.

Oh, Godzilla — A Sci-Fi monster flick starring George Burns and John Denver.

The Da Vinci Coed — The mystery of who Mona Lisa is, tracked to a student at the Sorbonne.

The Pun Also Rises — A classic tale of wisecracking people trading shaggy dog stories at bullfights.

Sergeant Dork — A nerdy, ridiculous jerk captures a whole German platoon.

Bambo:  A sequel to the famous story about a cute fawn who grows up and seeks revenge against his mother’s killer.

Gobi Dick — A sea captain hunts a white whale in a Mongolian desert.

Waiters of the Los Tarque — Government spies pose as wait staff at a popular Mexican restaurant where they hope to discover the secret recipe for Los Tarque’s famous Chimichanga de Pollo.

Merry Gull on 34th Street — An errant seabird imbibes from a broken bottle of tokay.

The Angina monologues — A story that really tugs at the heart.

Romancing the Bone — Rin Tin Tin begs for a treat.

Romancing the Sharon Stone — Behind the scenes film clips from Basic Instinct starring Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone.

Judy and The Beast — After a divorce from Punch, she finds a kinder gentler husband.

Because I Said No — Nancy Reagan speaks out again with a stronger message on the war against drugs.

Repeat — Re-release of Shampoo.  Watch for the exciting sequel, Condition.

Free Willie 4 — The personal stories of four male nudists. 

Presidential Predator — Monica’s Story.

Dim — Little Miss Sunshine visits The Dark.

10:30 to 2:30 — Dolly’s now working in a Government office and answers the question of what to do with a 3 hour lunch.

Bean Laden — Terror at the Chilli eating contest. Not for the weak stomached.

The Codfather — Getting down and greasy at the Fish and Fries Shop.

The Big Sleazy — Rosie’s and Donald’s love hate relationship.

Semis — Bigger than cars. 

No Expectations — What’s happening in the public school system.

Journey to the Bottom of the Earth — Life Downunder.

Pontoon — Life on the water.

Eye’s Glued Shut — Justice again proves it’s blind.

Politicians On A Plane — Quick, let the snakes loose.

Sushi – Japanese version of Free Willie.