Quirky Perks — Humor Writing Contest Results

Here are the best lines from our Quirky Perks humor writing contest for June.


At the IBM Compatible Plant, a perk for those who have been fired and then rehired, is that they don’t have to worry about being rebooted!
     S Frank Stringham, Las Vegas NV


Staff get 50% discount on all mahogany cabinets.  No returns.  Ninnis Funeral Home.
     Sanjiv Jetly, Wellington, New Zealand.


Disney Studios Cartoon Characters receive two extra fingers as a reward for 50 years of loyal service.
     Sol Morrison, Santa Barbara, CA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

Inmates at our California detention centre are issued standard uniforms.  Uniforms may not be five star grade as this is not a Hilton.

Leno comedy writers get workshop led by Sienfeld’s Michael Richards.

Workers at Crash Test Dummies, Inc. get a company car.

Mailmen get their own mail delivered by the Post Office on time.

Convention workers get to attend a free convention.  The theme: “How To Get Away From Work.”

Mattress Store Salesmen receive a half-hour afternoon nap on the softest mattress in the store for each big sale.

Hershey’s Chocolate Factory Workers receive a free jar of Clearasil every week on the job.

Master Card is offering their employees high limit credit cards.  Anyone who maxes out his or her card gets free “plastic” surgery.

Junior executives from the Dairy Queen executive offices are treated to a retreat.

A new financial perk is offered to the best resident of the St. Francis nunnery. It’s called Sum for Nun.

At the Sadist’s Society, it’s a perk NOT to torture the masochists.

The great thing about being a warden is meeting interesting people.

Working at an Alzheimer’s Clinic you get lots of practice presenting first impressions.

The best thing about being a kindergarten teacher is learning all the neighbourhood secrets.

An perk for workers at Australia Zoo is that anytime you yell out “crikey” people think your an expert animal handler.

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