Humor Contest Results — Creative Writing

Here are the best lines from our Jobs To Please Our Parents contest.  Our panel of six judges selected our top three lines.  For the first time, the best line was submitted by two people who came up with essentially the same line.

Look for something new on September 1.  Our Cartoon Caption Contest kicks off.  It should be fun and features the cartoons of Dan Rosandich.

** FIRST PLACE **

My Dad wanted me to go to church and my Mom wanted me to become a fashion designer. So now I’m a cross dresser.
     Two people submitted this line!
     Tammy Reid, Colchester, Ontario, Canada
     Jannaka Oxendine, Rocky Mount, North Carolina

** SECOND PLACE **

My Mom wanted me to become a public speaker but my Dad wanted me to become a carpenter. So I became Emcee Hammer.
     Ken Egervari, Windsor, Ontario, Canada

** THIRD PLACE **

My Mom wanted me to be an actress but my Dad wanted me to be royalty.  So I became a drama queen.
     Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

My Mum wanted me to become an etiquette teacher but my Dad wanted me to work for the railways.  So I became a civil engineer

My Mum wanted me to work in the army but my Dad wanted me to work in the family cleaning business.  So I became a mine sweeper.

My Mom wanted me to be a florist but my Dad wanted me to sell mattresses.  So I opened a garden center called Flower Bed Nursery.

My Mom wanted me to make costumes for pets and my Dad wanted me to be a barber.  So I became a haredresser. 

My Mom wanted me to be a musician but my Dad wanted me to be a legal advisor.   So I turned into a whistle-blower.

My Dad wanted me to sell wood products but my Mom wanted me to be a tax accountant.  So I opened a lumberyard called W-2 x 4.
 
My Mom wanted me to become a politician but my Dad wanted me to become a clown.  So I became a United States senator. 

My Mom and Dad wanted me to be a white-collar worker in charge of mass production.  So I became a priest.

My Dad wanted me to be a goat herder but my Mom wanted me to work in child care.  So I became a nanny.

My Mom wanted me to be a man of letters but my Dad wanted me to get a good government job.   So I became a mailman. 

My Dad wanted me to be a truck driver, but my Mom wanted me to be a bandleader.  So I became a semiconductor.

My Mom wanted me to be an astronaut, but my Dad wanted me to be a beer taster.  So I became an astronaut.

My Dad trained me to be a pickpocket but my Mom wanted me to be an actor.  So I became a politician.

My Mom wanted me to be a baker but my Dad wanted me to be a baseball player.  So I became a batter.

My Mom wanted me to be a Dentist but my Dad wanted me to be a tugboat operator.  So I became a tooth ferry.

My Mom wanted me to be a typist but my Dad wanted me to go into management.  So I became a Shift Supervisor.

My Mom wanted me to appear on stage and my Dad wanted me to leave home.  So I took the first stagecoach out of town.

My Dad wanted me to become a college professor but my Mom wanted me to open a daycare center. So I compromised and became a high school gym teacher.

My Dad wanted me to become a policeman but my Mom wanted me to be a firefighter. So I became a middle school lunch monitor.

My Dad wanted me to be a politician but my Mom wanted me to be a millionaire. So I married a Kennedy and moved to California.

My Mom wanted me to be a web developer but my Dad wanted me to get married to a rich actress so I wouldn’t have to find a real job. So I became Spider-man.

Mom and Dad wanted me to be a magician.  So now I perform disappearing acts.

Mum wanted me to work as an entertainer but Dad insisted I learn plumbing.  So I became a Clog Dancer.