Creative Humor — Joke Writing Contest Results

Here are the top lines in our Quirky Writers Joke Contest.

Watch for the next Joke Contest announced on December 15.

And our new Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the 1st of the month.

Here are the best lines selected by our panel of judges (speakers and improv players):


Prisoners write letters using long sentences.
   Gary Bachman, Hagerstown, Maryland, USA


Travel author writings seem to be all over the place.
   Jim Spero, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA


Cowboys draw.
   Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

An obsessive shopper writes an auto-buy-ography.
How do invisible ink writers know when they’ve run out of ink?
The pawn writer wrote about two queens and a bishop on a dark Knight.
The mountain climber wrote up his journal whereas the high diver wrote everything down
In writing his biography, Hulk Hogan wrestled with credibility.
The texting teenager was thumb writer.
The lyricist wrote her saddest songs using blue ink.
An undertaker moonlighted as an underwriter.
The inline skate wrote with a rollerball pen.
The attorney for the underwear company penned his briefs.
The food critic’s article contained hash marks.
Song writers don’t write letters they just write notes.
Skywriters use plane paper.
Would an underwriter be promoted to overwriter?
Archeologists dig hieroglyphics.
Bill board designers sign.
Book publishers print.
Witches know how to spell.
Prisoners write in pen.
Historians write with permanent markers.
Writers for Playboy know that a picture is worth a thousand words.
Movie reviewers write with a Flick of the wrist.
The Bellagio hotel concierges always use a fountain pen.
Neon tube benders write using sign language.
Medieval writers mainly punctuate with just one period.
Mohammed Ali knocked out two reports in a couple hours.
Stephen King writes his books in the Queens English.
Hairdressers lose track of appointments if they don’t use their highlighter pen.
Writers with straight hair often use permanent ink.
Obituary writers use markers.
Babies sometimes use play pens.
Alcoholics send a message in a bottle.
Sailors write in cursive.
There are 104 keys to writing a successful blog.
Captain Hook writes in short hand.