Creative Humor Writing — Joke Contest Results

Here are the results for our most recent Joke Contest:  Quirky Clothing.

The next contest will be announced on March 15.

Our next Cartoon Caption Contest will be announced on April 1, no fooling.

Now for the top lines of the Quirky Clothing joke writing contest:


School principals love suspenders.
     Arun Ramkumar, Chennai, India


Journalists prefer permanent press.
     Andy Dolphin, Mount Barker, Western Australia


High-rise construction workers never wear low-rise jeans.
      Randy Hunt, Chicago, Illinois, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

Pole vaulters love their jumpers
UK policeman wouldn’t be without their bobby socks.
Lady service station attendants don pumps.
Lady furriers wear mules.
Lady apartment leaseholders wear flats.
Rock and roll fans love blue suede shoes.
All families love ties.
Alcoholics love cocktail dresses.
Strippers love their birthday suits.
Archers love bow-ties.
Geneticists love Jeans.
Jockeys love, well…jockeys
Karate fighters love black belts.
Pirates love silver Long Johns.
Coffee drinkers don’t like T-shirts.
Cyclists love pedal pushers.
Policemen don’t like hoods.
Border security police don’t like breeches.
Pool players like clothes with pockets.
Fitness trainers like sweaters.
Fire eaters like hot pants.
G-men wear V-neck T-shirts.
Sir Galahad wore a nightshirt.
Herpetologists wear boas.
Talk show hosts like wraps.
Shady salesmen like fleeces.
Electricians are comfortable in Shorts.
Audiologists don’t like earrings.
Employees like to be vested.
Computer users boot up every morning.
Gardeners hate to snag their hose.
Bridge builders like suspenders.
Gamblers love purses.
Musicians like headbands.
Poker players like straight jackets.
Railroad builders like ties.
Apologetic people like saris.
Hungry people like scarfs.
Plumbers like clogs.
Cooks like stovepipe hats.
Canal builders like Panama hats.
The Loch Ness monster has 10 Ness shoes.
Sweat shop executives wear sweat suits.
Lawyers carry their briefs and wear lawsuits.
Dr Spock wants mothers to go strapless.
PI’s wear sneakers.
Insurance claims adjusters don’t like slips.
General Patton slipped into tank tops.
A true champion never wears ties.
Baby boomers now wear Grannie bloomers.
Painters often put on an extra coat.
Australians wear down underwear.
Alcoholics love a good belt.
Masochists love a sock or two.
Nobody looks snappy dressed in a nappy.
Attorneys wear legal briefs.
People with barking dogs wear hush puppies.
Ditch diggers wear trench coats.
People who are always exhausted wear fatigues.
Diligent people never wear loafers, but bakers do.
Do not wear slippers on freshly waxed floor.
Garment workers don suspenders and brace themselves with a stiff belt whenever company negotiators flip-flop, skirt the issue, hem and haw and talk through their hats.