Creative Humor Writing — Cartoon Caption Contest

Here are the results from our Grim News Cartoon Caption Contest featuring the artwork of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

Our next caption contest will be announced on July 1.

Check out our June Joke Writing Contest — Tiny Homes.

And now, here are our top captions:

Grim News

** FIRST PLACE **

Due to the news readers’ strike, we are operating with a skeleton crew.
     Andy Dolphin, Mount Barker, Western Australia

** SECOND PLACE **

I’ll bet you’re wondering why you’re getting this newscast on every channel.
     S Frank Stringham, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

Fred Reaper here, with today’s report on The Housing Market.
     Sol Morrison, Santa Barbara, California, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

…so I said to him, scythe does matter.  And he sai,…oh, we’re back on in 5, 4, 3…

Your regular anchorman will not be joining you tonight…or ever.

A serial reaper was apprehended this evening in an old folks home.

For those of you who wrote in to make comments about my weight and my hairstyle, I have obviously tried to streamline my look.

Welcome to EXPIRED TV.

This is your friendly host telling you the die is cast.

The Weather is Bone Chillin cold this week.

And in Sports Barry Bones has hit another walk off homer.

And tonight I bring you an update of my in-depth research on fad diets.

Could we fix the lights?  It’s making me look pale and thin.

I would like to announce that I have switched careers from horseman to anchorman.

And now for the obituaries, or as I like to call it, my client list.

I will be taking over for Brendan today, who is resting on my doorstep as we speak.

Let’s break for lunch, I’m starving to death.

***Buzzzz**** ***Buzzz**** ****Buzzz**** This is your local cable comapny emergency signal test. This is only a test…Unless there is a skeleton news anchor on your screen.

General Motors announced today that Hummer is coming out with a new model that gets a half mile to the gallon.

You’ll die when  you hear this one.
 
For the rest of the news log on to our website. I am late for my son’s halloween party. I gotta run.

And now for sports-related deaths we move to Bob at the sports-desk.

And now, for the first part of our Special Two-Part Report on Death And Taxes.

And now for more good news from the Surgeon General.

Coming up after the break the newest breakthrough in the anti-aging revolution.
 
Hurry up and get the makeup crew on him. We’re going to be on the air in less than 60 seconds.

I’m happy to report that the world has come to an end.

And after these messages, we’ll return to day 197 of our continuing coverage of the nuclear conflict.

Coming up:  The brains shortage has thousands of area zombies worried about how to feed their families.

And in other news, a local man says Soylent Green is people.

And in some sad news, I am sorry to report, in that fiery bus crash on the turnpike today, all 66 passengers survived.

We’ve got hurricanes and tornados in the forecast for tomorrow so make sure you take the kids, get out there early, and check them out.

To be politically correct, I am neither grim nor am I a reaper.

And now for the weather…the extended forecast calls for below average temperatures;  leaving me chilled to the bone.

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For information on how Dan Rosandich can help you with custom cartoons and artwork for your book, articles, website, T-shirts and more, visit his cartoon website.