Creative Writing — Humor Skills — Contest Results

It’s time for the results of the Celebrity Businesses Joke Contest.

We announce a new joke contest mid-month.

And we announce a new Cartoon Caption Contest on the first of the month.

Here are this month’s top lines.  Thanks to everyone who submitted entries!


Howard Stern goes into business selling electric athletic supporters:  Shock Jocks.
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA


Rosanne Cash and Jim Carrey open a wholesale outlet:  Cash & Carrey.
     Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California, USA


G Gordon Liddy opens a gas station called Exx-Con.
     Gary Bachman, Hagerstown, Maryland, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Popular actress opens up a bank:  Lindsay Savings and Lohan.
  – Popular radio host starts a boat dealership:  Howard’s Stem to Stern.
  – Justin opens a retreat in the woods:  Timberlake Lodge.
  – John Kerry opens a restaurant:  Heinz Kurry.
  – Derek Jeter makes sugar-filled caricatures of his teammates:  Yankee Doodle Candies.
  – Ex NFL players from Wisconsin set up a business:  Green Bay Packers and Movers.
  – Simon and Garfunkel reunite to form a construction company to build Bridges over troubled waters.
  – Bill O’Reilly opens a math-tutoring business called The Factor.
  – Bill Gates has a luxury bed business for little people: Microsoft Mattresses.
  – George Cohan Derek Jeter explores his artistic side by making sugar-filled caricatures of his teammates, which he sells at a Manhattan confectionery dubbed Yankee Doodle Candies.
  – Microsoft releases a new firewall for Windows named Bill’s Gates.
  – Tina Turner opens a rotisserie shop.
  – Popular actor starts a risky business:  Tom Cruise Lines.
  – Whoever loses for President will get into the diaper business so he can still make change happen.
  – Tom Hanks registers himself as a teacher with one mission:  Passing Primate Ryan.
  – Amy Winehouse opens up a bar:  Amy’s Winehouse.
  – David Beckham writes a tell-all memoir on his wife:  Victoria’s secrets.
  – Bill O’Reilly opens a Math tutoring business called The Factor.
  – Bill Gates has a luxury bed business for little people and advertises his Microsoft mattresses.