Creative Writing — Humor Skills — Contest Results

It’s time for the results of the Celebrity Businesses Joke Contest.

We announce a new joke contest mid-month.

And we announce a new Cartoon Caption Contest on the first of the month.

Here are this month’s top lines.  Thanks to everyone who submitted entries!

** FIRST PLACE **

Howard Stern goes into business selling electric athletic supporters:  Shock Jocks.
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA

**SECOND PLACE **

Rosanne Cash and Jim Carrey open a wholesale outlet:  Cash & Carrey.
     Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

G Gordon Liddy opens a gas station called Exx-Con.
     Gary Bachman, Hagerstown, Maryland, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Popular actress opens up a bank:  Lindsay Savings and Lohan.
  – Popular radio host starts a boat dealership:  Howard’s Stem to Stern.
  – Justin opens a retreat in the woods:  Timberlake Lodge.
  – John Kerry opens a restaurant:  Heinz Kurry.
  – Derek Jeter makes sugar-filled caricatures of his teammates:  Yankee Doodle Candies.
  – Ex NFL players from Wisconsin set up a business:  Green Bay Packers and Movers.
  – Simon and Garfunkel reunite to form a construction company to build Bridges over troubled waters.
  – Bill O’Reilly opens a math-tutoring business called The Factor.
  – Bill Gates has a luxury bed business for little people: Microsoft Mattresses.
  – George Cohan Derek Jeter explores his artistic side by making sugar-filled caricatures of his teammates, which he sells at a Manhattan confectionery dubbed Yankee Doodle Candies.
  – Microsoft releases a new firewall for Windows named Bill’s Gates.
  – Tina Turner opens a rotisserie shop.
  – Popular actor starts a risky business:  Tom Cruise Lines.
  – Whoever loses for President will get into the diaper business so he can still make change happen.
  – Tom Hanks registers himself as a teacher with one mission:  Passing Primate Ryan.
  – Amy Winehouse opens up a bar:  Amy’s Winehouse.
  – David Beckham writes a tell-all memoir on his wife:  Victoria’s secrets.
  – Bill O’Reilly opens a Math tutoring business called The Factor.
  – Bill Gates has a luxury bed business for little people and advertises his Microsoft mattresses.