Being Funny — Cartoon Caption Contest

Our December cartoon was very popular.  We had over 400 entries.  Our panel of 10 judges (improv players and speakers) picked the winners.  We had a tie for first place.

Our cartoonist is Dan Rosandich.  Check out his web site for information on how he can create custom cartoons for your next special project, book, flyer, web site, T-shirt, and more.

We announce a new Cartoon Caption Contest tomorrow.

Our next Joke Writing Contest is announced on January 15.

Here are this month’s top entries:

** FIRST PLACE ** (A Tie for Two Entries)

When the Club said we’d get a bar code I thought it would be a secret knock!
     Grace MacGregor, Salwa, Kuwait
 
For the millionth time, you haven’t yet expired!
     Raul De la Vega, Quezon City, Metro Manila, Philippines

** SECOND PLACE **

So this is the government’s answer to identity theft?
     Lisa Benson, Buffalo, New York, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

I hate this new barcode dating system. The women just scan the room and they know everything about you!
     Rae Nell Krusen, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – And they say vertical stripes make you look thinner!
  – My personal preference would have been the blinking sign.
  – I hate those scanners.  Remember when we used names?
  – You call this innovation? Proactive? The boss simply can’t remember names and personal data.
  – I have no recollection of what we did last night. I hope it was worth it.
  – I only said to her that the checkout was a little slow today.
  – The new security measures seem to have gone a little far.
  – I feel like I’m going through an identity crisis.
  – I can’t get the cost of living out of my head.
  – What separates us from animals is our individuality.
  – Can you believe it!  My wife sold me just for two dollars.
  – George McBaldy: At least your hair partially covers it.
  – You just had to upset the big guy behind the cash register, didn’t you!
  – I know! I know!  Wanting to get a unique tattoo while we were drunk seemed like a good idea!
  – I don’t know about marriage in this new millennium.  Whatever happened to a simple ‘I do’ and a ring?
  – I was hoping the 666 would go on our forehead and the barcode on our hand.
  – Instant comb-over bangs, my eye!
  – I should’ve known there’d be a catch when the bank began offering free checking accounts.
  – Face it Son, forget about an acting career.  You were born to be a retailer like the rest of the family.
  – How in the BEEP did they know it was us?
  – First it was ethics, now honour…I’m up to here with codes
  – They’re all wrong Fred, we’re friends, not code dependent!
  – Now let them say we wear our hearts on our sleeves!
  – Do they think we’ve got IDIOT tattooed on our foreheads?
  – We’d better run!  There’s a price on our heads.
  – If I could understand your code, I could read your mind.  Otherwise, just tell me.
  – I only hope this price on our heads has an expiration date!
  – My wife says if I don’t lose some weight she is going to exchange me for a smaller size.
  – I’ve been marked down for the third time.  I’ve never been this low.
  – I don’t see how anyone could confuse us.  I’m 00014986259 and you’re 00014986259 Junior.
  – Well, at least you don’t expire next month.
  – Now my wife can track me wherever I go.  I got the seven-year-itch, but I don’t dare scratch.
  – Your mother and I considered several names for you, but then we just settled on 004925693569 Jr.
  – They said this would attract women.
  – I thought the speedier check out at the grocery would be worth it.
  – Why did we think getting drunk was the cool thing to do?
  – Not only are we not identical twins with this strange birthmark.  I happen to be the one with no hair.  So don’t complain to me.
  – This was your big idea.  “We’ll never need to carry ID cards ever again”,  you said.   Big hairy deal.
  – The latest, newest fad.  The cutting edge.  We will stand out from the crowd.  Am I quoting you correctly?
  – So now when the girls walk up just rub your head on their stomachs and if you hear a “Ding” they have bought it.
  – Yeah we are from SCANada . What’s it to ya?
  – I told you alcohol and tattoos don’t mix.
  – I am never playing tag with a librarian again
  – If one more person asks for my ISBN, I’m going to flip out!
  – I didn’t realize that St. Peter had gone digital until now.
  – Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
  – Never, never let the doctor run that scan on us again.
  – They say no two humans are alike.
  – Were staying out of that bar.
  – Damn, that girl just checked us out.
  – Well I guess that this is proof that we are unique.
  – I told you we shouldn’t nap on the production line.
  – The next time we decide to get tattoos, I pick the design.
  – Read my mind!
  – Now do you think we’ll be universally accepted?
  – I found my long lost brother in an old bookstore.
  – I need a fake ID to get into the bar.
  – Yeah they threw the book at me.
  – Don’t judge a book by its cover.
  – I never thought I would be in a situation where being called “You are just a statistic” would have been much better.