Joke Contest Results — Creative Humor Writing

Here are the results of the Quirky Breakfast Food joke writing contest.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Now here are this month’s top lines selected by a panel of seven judges.  Congratulations to our winners:


A politician’s favorite breakfast:  Waffles and pork.
     Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois, USA


Priests love Pope-Tarts and Hot Cross Buns.
     Sol Morrison, Santa Barbara, California, USA


Howmany Grits:  A favorite of accountants.
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Cross-Word Puzzle Fanatics: Alpha-Bits Cereal.
  – Couple with a small, family Business:  Mom-And-Pop Tarts.
  – Match Maker:  Wed-Lox & Bagels.
  – Banker :  Dollar  Pancakes,  Blank  Chex & Golden  Nuggets.
  – Yoga Teachers:  One Egg OHMMM-lettes.
  – Movie Producers:  Al-Cappuccino.
  – Prisoners:  Perp-Tarts.
  – Z-Doodles:  For insomniacs.
  – Rye Chex:  Comedians love ’em!
  – Barley Puffs:  Now with Hops for added zest! (For serious drinkers.)
  – Weedies: Breakfast of Chimpanzees!
  – Sin-a-bons:  When three of ’em is just not enough!
  – Difficult Over Eggs:  For convincing him to buy you non-stick cookware.
  – Poached Eggs:  You didn’t think we were going to actually buy them, did you?
  – Bagels and Padlocks: Now here’s a breakfast that’ll stay with you.
  – Toast: What your now receive for opening a savings account in lieu of a toaster.
  – Life: Favorite cereal of the Unabomber.
  – Shredded Weed:  A favorite of Michael Phelps.
  – Links:  A breakfast staple for Tiger Woods
  – Log Cabin:   The only brand of syrup for Abe Lincoln.
  – All Bran: Keeps your exit clear.
  – OM let :  A bad serve for a zen master.
  – Sunny side up: Nudists colony favorite.
  – Everything Bagle  : Snoopy with an “E” missing.
  – Man-go Sour: The Divorcee’s breakfast.
  – Frosties: When the honeymoon is over.
  – Prozac & Coffee: Start the day Mellow.
  – Foot in Mouth: The Politician’s Breakfast.
  – Sweet and Sour Corn Flakes: An Asian Favourite.
  – Mars-mellow Bars:  Universal Astronaut Breakfast.
  – Poker Chips and Dice Rolls: Breakfast in Las Vegas!
  – Artmeal:  Made from your old unwanted paintings.
  – Shakespeare’s favorite breakfast:  Denver Hamlet.
  – For breakfast on a busy highway:  Traffic jam.
  – A musicians breakfast:  Jam session.
  – Little kid’s breakfast:  Jammies.
  – Breakfast for a medieval jailer:  Locks and scream cheese.
  – Auto repairman in London likes English mufflers.
  – Astronauts eat Twinkies at Starbucks.
  – People who are not on time drink Latte.
  – Cannibals like mancakes.
  – Rising stars like yeast bread.
  – Smurfs eat blueberries .
  – Hecklers love raspberries
  – Popeye loves hashbrowns with Olive Oyl.
  – Sunday morning cruise-ship breakfast:  Cap’n Brunch.
  – Granny likes Smith apples.