Here’s another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting.
Remember that the set-up items are listed in the sequence of the monologue lines they inspired, but in reality they did not happen in that order during the meeting.
THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.)
1. Toastmasters are often trained to open their comments with a stilted: “Mr Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters and honored guests.” A member, during a speech evaluation, commented that in her first speech she was most concerned about doing that opening salutation correctly.
2. The theme of the meeting was BASKETBALL because the collegiate basketball championships were being played. The emcee of the meeting brought a basketball and each speaker was handed the ball when they came to the front of the room.
3. A speaker told of an April Fool joke played on her. Long ago, in her office, she answered the telephone. It was an old-style phone with two pieces. One piece you hold to your ear and the other one you talk into. The two pieces had been super-glued together.
4. A speaker provided the statistic that the average person spends $1400 each year on clothing.
5. A speaker said that she liked Australian basketball because the men wore Tank Tops and Skimpy Shorts.
6. A speaker said that she liked football because the men were always bending over.
7. I am a tall person. Six-feet-three-inches.
8. A speaker told about playing hide-and-seek as a child. They told the seeker to close his eyes and count to 20…and then the rest of the kids all went home.
Mr Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and honored guests…thank God that part’s over!
(A good response. An even better response following a physical take, wiping my brow.)
(They hand me the basketball) I think I’m going to start dribbling.
(The double meaning of the word DRIBBLE activates this joke…bouncing the ball and drooling.)
On the break I did some research on Google. When two-piece phones were being used…super glue had not been invented.
(An observation based on the truth. A very good laugh.)
Three ways to succeed as a humor speaker.
1. Spend $1400/year on clothing…mostly tank tops and skimpy shorts.
2. While you’re speaking…spend most of your time bending over. At least half the audience will like what you’re doing.
3. And last…this comes from personal observation…be tall.
(Line number two runs the risk of crossing that invisible line of good taste, depending on how directly sexual the line is. Remember that innuendo does not make a line safe. I felt this line was tame and the response was great.)
Now if you would all close your eyes and count to twenty…I’m going home.
(A perfect closing line.)