The Almost Dictionary — Humor Contest

This was posted on the Blog:  “I was reading something today that talked about the economy ‘souring’, but as I read it quickly, thought it said ‘soaring’ at first and was struck by what a difference one little letter makes in the meaning of that phrase!”

And of course I thought, let’s have a contest!

Your challenge is to find “almost” spellings for common words or short phrases.  The variations might be created by changing one letter, or two.  Or by using a homonym.  Or some other little variation.  Give us the new word or phrase.  And then give us a definition.

For example, let’s look at “almost” possibilities for:
  – Faux pas
  – Mistake
  – Tinker Bell

Faux Pa:  A man on the Jerry Springer show who failed a paternity test.

Flow Pas:  A glacier field which is melting too fast.

Misteak:  A filet mignon ordered rare which was cooked well-done.

Miss Take:  A beauty pageant for kleptomaniacs.

Tinker Belle:  A debutante coming out at Tinker AFB, Oklahoma.

Tinkle Bell:  Used by a hospital patient to request a bedpan.

What other words or combinations of words almost look or sound like the original but would have a twisted meaning?

We are not looking for daffynitions, which are twisted definitions of actual words.

Get your creativity motor running.  Make a long list.  Then edit your first draft to make the lines stronger.  Submit your best lines to by April 30, 2009.