Cartoon Caption Contest Results — Creative Writing

It’s time for the results of the May Cartoon Caption Contest featuring the art of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of each month.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

Here are this month’s top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

When my owner said, “Let’s go to the Vet to get tutored!”  I was excited.  Now I realize that I need my hearing checked.
     Ron DesGroseilliers Jr, Spring Lake, North Carolina, USA

** SECOND PLACE **

My date wasn’t an Alaskan Husky…she was just a heavy smoker.
     Les Hardin, Brisbane, Australia

** THIRD PLACE **

I shouldn’t have gotten all eight of them pierced.
     Rose Smith, Eugene, Oregon, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – I’m a Cat trapped in a Dog’s body. My parents just don’t understand.
  – I should have stopped after 3 beers.
  – Why is our owner comparing me with her husband?
  – All I saw was when they sang, “Ya put yer right foot in…”  After that, they locked me in the bathroom.
  – Yeah, they’re sharp…my Mom says is that Dad was a porcupine.
  – Cockapoos, labradoodles, meagles, foxingese, chinaranians…nobody wants mutts like us anymore.
  – Ever since Bo was adopted by the Obamas, he has no time for us anymore.
  – I think I got the swine flu.  I only want to roll over in the mud.
  – I forgot to do the math assignment last night.  I know,  I’ll tell the teacher my owner ate my homework.
  – It’s 7 am.  Of course, I’m a little grouchy.  Don’t you know to let sleeping dogs lie.
  – I feed my sled dogs “Me-ams” because there is no, “I” in team.
  – My owner has taken that “change” bit too far cuz I’m now getting cat chow.
  – My master said, “I’m not your best friend.” She’s mad about something.
  – So when I asked her out, she said I was barking up the wrong tree.
  – My wife had nine beautiful puppies, and then she got a ticket for littering!
  – There I was, sniffing like any normal dog, when this dog with a white stripe down his back decided he didn’t like it!
  – You can be a good dog for years, but roll in the mud and go in the house just once…
  – I don’t know why, but they got really mad when I bit the guy in the red suit in our fireplace.
  – When she said dip, I thought it was food, not a bath!
  – We changed churches. We go to Good Shepherd now.
  – When the priest told my master that dogs don’t go to heaven he didn’t think about how I’d feel.
  – Extreme Makeover doesn’t do dog houses.
  – I thought I was Presidential quality.
  – It’s just not the same since Bo moved to DC.
  – The Secret Service won’t let me see Bo.
  – I used to be a Hunting Dog, until the cops confiscated my guns.
  – If you ask me, Cats are just too damn curious.
  – The vet said I’ve only got a year to live… and he’s talking dog years!
  – I ask you, how can a stupid meow be cuter than a bark.
  – I love roadkill, but who can afford the gas.
  – We need a government bailed out at Dinner Dogfood, then they could use real meat.
  – The Hokey Pokey stinks…which left foot do you put in?
  – One mistake and my career as a Champion Breeder ended forever…damn barbed wire fence.
  – Swine Flu, Mad Cows and bird flu…I’m worried that we’re next on the menu.
  – The whole two weeks I ran in the Iditarod, all I could think about was how big my butt’s gotten.

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