The Almost Dictionary — Contest Results

Here are the results from our Almost Dictionary contest.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Here are this month’s top lines:


Whine Flu:  Contagious disease whose primary symptom is complaining about everything.

     Terry Wall, Washington Township, New Jersey, USA


Entertamer:  A comedian that can handle rough audiences.

     Les Hardin, Brisbane, Australia


Punitentiary:   A jail for making bad puns.

     Sol  Morrison, Santa Barbara, California, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Shabitat:  A dilapidated house.
  – Pundemic:  Lots of bad puns going around.
  – Hummonyms:  Two tunes that sound similar.
  – Serendopity:  The accidental discovery of a really stupid idea.
  – Goobernatorial:  A weird, nut-ball candidate for Governor.
  – American Idle: A competition for dedicated Couch Potatoes.
  – Hunkback of Notre Dame: The sexy new Quarterback for the Notre Dame “Fighting Irish.”
  – Pistil-whipped:  A  form of torture using a really big flower.
  – Peekini:  When you are over-exposed on the beach.
  – Lair conditioner:  How bears stay cool.
  – Tyrannosaurus Rx:  The first pharmacist.
  – Clearinet:  A see through woodwind.
  – Claptop computer: It applauds every time you use it.
  – Giggle:  Internet search engine for locating jokes.
  – Antifacterial:  political spin doctoring.
  – OK 47:  An assault weapon that works only in Oklahoma.
  – Sometimes with my wife I go from being a champ to being a chump in the blink of an eye.
  – Newdle: Brand new Pasta.
  – Axe of the Apostles:  How Paul lost his head.
  – Grosseries:  High food prices.
  – Steed Limit:  How fast your horse can go.
  – Gambulance:  An emergency medical vehicle for people with leg injuries.
  – Gasp Station:  Where you struggle to breathe after buying fuel.
  – Claptop Computer:  It applauds every time you use it.
  – Trestle’s:  Chocolate in the shape of railroad bridges.
  – Tinker Ball:   Annual Dance for Tinkerers.
  –  Humorous gardening site.
  – Slimdog Millionaire:  Heartwarming movie about a Sumo Wrestler who gets to the final round in India’s version of The Biggest Loser.
  – Federal Reserve Bunk:  Don’t believe a word they say.