Joke Contest — Retirement Gifts

Our Joke Writing Contest theme last month was:  Retirement Gifts.

New Joke contests are announced mid-month.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Here are the Retirement Gifts top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

Rush Limbaugh:  A bucket of fried chicken — all right wings.
     Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois, USA

** SECOND PLACE **

Rod Blagojevich:  The key to the city — the exit gate.
     Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

David Letterman:  A saw sharpener.
     Kaye Newton, Raymond Terrace, NSW, Australia

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Donald Trump: A large box of Lego building blocks.
  – Albert Einstein: A jigsaw puzzle.
  – Napoleon:  Stilts and mittens.
  – The Rolling Stones:  Moss.
  – William Shatner:  A discounted stateroom on the USS Enterprise.