Joke Contest — Unlikely Quotes

The theme for this month’s joke contest is Unlikely Quotes.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Your challenge this month is to create an unlikely quote which might result from a professional person placed in the wrong job position.  The professional could be a specific celebrity or a general category of professional people.  The format would be:  QUOTE followed by THE PRO and THE JOB POSITION.

Here are some examples:

“I can’t hear you!”  A drill sergeant working at a hearing aid store.

“Abra cadaver.”  A magician working at a funeral home.

“I’ll shoot you as soon as you smile.”  A sniper working at a photo studio.

Write several lines.  Edit and improve them.  Select your best ones.  Then submit them to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by July 31, 2009.