Cartoon Caption Contest Results — Report Card
It’s time for the results of the August Cartoon Caption Contest: Report Card. We feature the art of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.
New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.
New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.
Here are this month’s top captions:
** FIRST PLACE **
Okay: E means Excellent, but are you sure D means Distinguished?
Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA
** SECOND PLACE **
Straight A’s, huh? No offense, son, but let me get my glasses before I congratulate you.
Eric Johnson, Gastonia, North Carolina, USA
** THIRD PLACE **
I don’t know who I’m more disappointed in, you or your teacher.
Ryan Mulligan, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)
– Well son, looks like I’m going to have to repeat the fifth grade again.
– Don’t lie to me, these grades aren’t all for gym class.
– And that’s the story of how I barely passed the third grade. Now, where is your report card, son?
– So my boss gave me my performance appraisal today. In short, the family will be needing you to get a paper route.
– Apparently somebody has stopped taking their Ritalin. Performance enhancing drugs are not just for baseball players you know.
– Son, last time it was Edd’s, before that it was Dec’s, and this time it’s Dee’s. Why do you always bring home someone else’s report card?
– Looks like medical school is out… That leaves running for President.
– How did you get a D minus in English? “Que?”
– No, I don’t think you deserve an A+ for consistency.
– It looks like you are spending to much time on one subject!
– I got grades like these too. Look what I became.
– Unconditional love, son. I only hate your teachers for this.
– Many geniuses did poorly when young. But make no mistake, I know you aren’t a genius.
– You know what you get for this. Two boots in the rear and one whack in the back of the head.
– Well, I see three characters, son, but there’s sure not much of a plot!
– Obama got a better report card than this from Fox News.
– It looks history repeats itself. You’ll be repeating history.
– I hope you’re not expecting any cash for this clunker.
– What do you mean that you are within the first letters of the alphabet?
– Sorry son, “Cash For Clunkers” doesn’t apply to poor report cards.
– On the plus side, your grades spell out your nickname.
– Obviously education is not working for you. Maybe you should consider being a comedian.
– No, Junior, I do NOT believe it stands for Does Everything Excellently.
– Eggsalint werk, Joonyer! I new all them ours i spint tooterin yoo wuld hellp yoo emproove yore grayds.
– So, you thought that I wouldn’t know that “e” is a fake grade?
– With grades like this, how do you expec to get into a good skool?
– This reminds me of a similar report card I got when I was your age. When my father saw it, my hat spun around, too!
– Your teacher called and said you accidentally left this in her trash can.
– If I was going to change Fs, I would change them to Bs.
– If you are running a temperature, it must be a low grade fever.
– Ahh, a chip off the old blockhead.
– Congratulations! Looks like you’ll be the oldest first grader again next year.
– A D minus? Pace yourself, son. Leave something to learn next year.
– I don’t care how you grade me, son, you’re going to eat that spinach.
– You call this fascinating reading? Shocking bombshell more like.
– I can’t blame you for not learning if your teacher can’t even spell ‘F’ correctly.
– Help me think of an excuse for grandma
– Add a P+ and that’s how much trouble you’re in.
Visit the website of Dan Rosandich to see how he can create customcartoons for your special project, book, newsletter, website, T-Shirtand more.
August 24th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Very cute! A lot of people had fun with this!
August 31st, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I was surprised how many people hadn’t heard of E’s as grades. My favorite concept was that the child was so dumb that he changed his F’s to E’s instead of the obvious B’s – although the joke could have used some work. Great idea!
September 25th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
First Place, huh? Gotta give some credit to my old dad who, when I was just a kid, told me stuff like this from when he’d bring home one of those old report cards to his mom – who spoke little English. “What’s this ‘P’?” “That means ‘Perfect!’” “What’s this ‘F’?” “That means ‘Fine!’” “What’s this ‘U’?” “That means ‘Ultimate!’” (Way back then, E,G,F,P,U meant excellent, good, fair, poor, unsatisfactory).