Cartoon Caption Contest Results — Report Card

It’s time for the results of the August Cartoon Caption Contest: Report Card.  We feature the art of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

Here are this month’s top captions:


Okay:  E means Excellent, but are you sure D means Distinguished?

     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA


Straight A’s, huh?  No offense, son, but let me get my glasses before I congratulate you.

     Eric Johnson, Gastonia, North Carolina, USA

I don’t know who I’m more disappointed in, you or your teacher.

     Ryan Mulligan, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Well son, looks like I’m going to have to repeat the fifth grade again.
  – Don’t lie to me, these grades aren’t all for gym class.
  – And that’s the story of how I barely passed the third grade. Now, where is your report card, son?
  – So my boss gave me my performance appraisal today. In short, the family will be needing you to get a paper route.
  – Apparently somebody has stopped taking their Ritalin. Performance enhancing drugs are not just for baseball players you know.
  – Son, last time it was Edd’s, before that it was Dec’s, and this time it’s Dee’s.  Why do you always bring home someone else’s report card?
  – Looks like medical school is out… That leaves running for President.
  – How did you get a D minus in English?  “Que?”
  – No, I don’t think you deserve an A+ for consistency.
  – It looks like you are spending to much time on one subject!
  – I got grades like these too. Look what I became.
  – Unconditional love, son. I only hate your teachers for this.
  – Many geniuses did poorly when young. But make no mistake, I know you aren’t a genius.
  – You know what you get for this. Two boots in the rear and one whack in the back of the head.
  – Well, I see three characters, son, but there’s sure not much of a plot!
  – Obama got a better report card than this from Fox News.
  – It looks history repeats itself.  You’ll be repeating history.
  – I hope you’re not expecting any cash for this clunker.
  – What do you mean that you are within  the first letters of the alphabet?
  – Sorry son, “Cash For Clunkers” doesn’t apply to poor report cards.
  – On the plus side, your grades spell out your nickname.
  – Obviously education is not working for you.  Maybe you should consider being a comedian.
  – No, Junior, I do NOT believe it stands for Does Everything Excellently.
  – Eggsalint werk, Joonyer!  I new all them ours i spint tooterin yoo wuld hellp yoo emproove yore grayds.
  – So, you thought that I wouldn’t know that “e” is a fake grade?
  – With grades like this, how do you expec to get into a good skool?
  – This reminds me of a similar report card I got when I was your age. When my father saw it, my hat spun around, too!
  – Your teacher called and said you accidentally left this in her trash can.
  – If I was going to change Fs, I would change them to Bs.
  – If you are running a temperature, it must be a low grade fever.
  – Ahh, a chip off the old blockhead.
  – Congratulations!  Looks like you’ll be the oldest first grader again next year.
  – A D minus?  Pace yourself, son.  Leave something to learn next year.
  – I don’t care how you grade me, son, you’re going to eat that spinach.
  – You call this fascinating reading?  Shocking bombshell more like.
  – I can’t blame you for not learning if your teacher can’t even spell ‘F’ correctly.
  – Help me think of an excuse for grandma
  – Add a P+ and that’s how much trouble you’re in.

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