Observational Humor — Case Study #45

Here’s another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented.)

1.  A speaker told us that to love others, you must first love yourself.

2.  A speaker told us to SLAP our significant other, using SLAP as a motivational acronym.

3.  Mike told the classic Starfish story.

4.  Freeway traffic was terrible enroute to the meeting.  Everyone coming from my end of town was late.

5.  Daylight Savings time change took place the day before our meeting.  We set our clocks back one hour.

6.  Our Table Topics (impromptu speech topics) were presented by a member who gave us obscure words to define, and she told us that it was unlikely we would know the correct definition.

7.  A speaker was introduced as a classically trained musician.  “Which explains why he uses notes.”

8.  A speaker said, “I was in a jazz band for four years.  I’m telling you that because it’s important for the next story I’m going to share.”

9.  Someone referred to a speaker who had spoken to Superbowl contenders and Apollo astronauts.

10.  A speaker used the acronym TIP for Trust, Integrity, Peace.

11.  Frank told us a story of meeting his wife’s ex and not realizing who it was.  “I was confused when I saw that he had pictures of my grand kids in his wallet.”

THE MONOLOGUE

I love myself.  I love myself.  I love myself.  And when I go home tonight I’m going to slap my significant other.
(The first laugh line was a slight twist on the motivational mantra “I like myself.”  The SLAP line was simply a repeat of a previously used phrase.  The literal use of the word SLAP made the line funny.)

And the man said to me, “Why are you throwing starfish back into the ocean?”  I replied, “So Mike can give a speech.”
(I dropped myself into the Starfish story.)

I was late getting to the meeting tonight…I forgot to set my clock back on Sunday.  Actually if that were the case, I would have been an hour early.
(The set up stated a seemingly logical reason for being late for the meeting.  The punchline stated the reality, which was probably not immediately obvious to most people.)

Table Topics were really challenging tonight.  We were challenged with a word which we were told that we probably wouldn’t know the meaning of.  And we were being told that by a blonde.
(I connected the Table Topics presenter’s challenge with a stereotype about blondes.)

I’m a classically trained humorist.  That explains why I use notes.
(I usually use notes when I deliver a monologue.  Switching classically trained musician for humorist worked nicely.)

I was in a jazz band for four years.  That has nothing to do with this monologue.  I just wanted you to know.
(A silly line that got a good laugh.)

I’ve spoken to Super Bowl contenders, Apollo astronauts, and cows.  I told the cows to focus on Trust, Integrity and Peace.  I was cow tipping.
(I combined two observations…speaking to celebrities and the TIP acronym…and linked them with cow-tipping.  It was good for two laughs.  The first one was when I said “and cows”.)

(taking out my wallet)  Let me show you some pictures of Frank’s grand kids.
(A great closing line implying that everyone carried photos of Frank’s grand kids in their wallet…or that I was the ex of Frank’s wife.  It didn’t matter to me which way it was received because both would work.  A huge laugh.)