Joke Contest Results — Quirky Medications

This month’s joke contest is Quirky Medications.  The top lines were selected by our panel of seven judges (improv players and speakers).

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).  The next joke contest is April 1, 2010.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).  The next caption contest is March 1, 2010.

Our web site was down for maintenance a couple of days earlier this month.  If you submitted lines during that period, your email should have been returned to you.  Hopefully you re-submitted and we didn’t miss any of your creative work.  Our apologies if we missed any submissions.

Here are the contest results:

** FIRST PLACE **

Aussiecotton:  Softens and protects any condition “Down Under.”
     Jim Spero, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

 ** SECOND PLACE **

Ibeloafin:  Takes away the desire to do anything.
     Darin Thompson, Smithfield, Utah, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

Frolic acid:  Makes you feel young again.
     Tom Nee, Oak Lawn, Illinois, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Dramaloeine:  Used for suntan lotion sickness.
  – Pettyocillin:  Helps lessen the obsession for Anal personalities.
  – Knowhatimine:  Improves ability to understand others.
  – Hydrocotton : A 200mg tablet used to almost guarantee victory in a wet T-shirt contest.
  – Slowmodium:  Calms Type A personalities.
  – Cleptomicin:  Cures the urge to steal.
  – Aspirin-G:  Eliminates the butterflies in young actresses and pageant contestants.
  – Ambien-T:  Works like mood lighting to quickly calm you down.
  – Lackconan:  An expensive pill that is hard for NBC execs to swallow.
  – Tabloida:  Helps you to discern fact from fiction in those supermarket mags.
  – Verbatem-EX:  Helps you to understand exactly what your former spouse is telling you.
  – Clearitin 20-20:  Eliminates the need for eyeglasses.
  – Lacktact acid:  Helps you to be kinder to others.
  – Bowtox & Bagels:  For Plastic Surgery Group Operations in a Jewish Medical Center.
  – Thatdopamine:  Helps you to get along better with your better half.
  – Bennzoil:  Lubricates those creaky joints.
  – Corleone cream:  Works well on gunshot wounds.
  – Zooloft: brings out the animal in you.
  – Mummidefier:  Makes you VERY quiet.
  – Waistaway:  A diet drug.
  – Bentadrill:  Anger control for do-it-yourselfers who abuse their tools.
  – Botoxycontin:  Pain killer for facelifts.
  – Ibeproofin:  Pain killer for overworked copy editors.