Joke Contest Results — New Holidays

Here are the results from our February contest — New Holidays.  The top three entries were selected by a panel of six judges (speakers and improv players).

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).  The next caption contest is March 1, 2011.

Here are this month’s top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

Slinky Day:  The day it’s OK to push your co-worker down the stairs.
     Samuel McRae, Battle Mountain, Nevada

** SECOND PLACE **

Procrastinator’s Day:  When is it?  Tomorrow.
     Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California

** THIRD PLACE **

True Labor Day:  A day to say thank you to all Mothers on the day of their children’s Birthday.
     Jim Spero, Las Vegas, Nevada

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Diet Wednesday:  Follows Fat Tuesday.
  – Daylight Spending Day:  We’ve been saving them long enough!  Let’s spend them before the government imposes a tax.
  – Bad Luck Day: A day to ceremoniously break mirrors while walking under ladders and stepping on cracks in sidewalks.
  – Naked Twister Day:  Everyone’s new favorite holiday.
  – Ex-Fed Day:  The day you don’t pay taxes on anything.
  – Smashing Pumpkins Day, November 1:  When we smash old Jack-o-lanterns left from Halloween while rocking to music by the Smashing Pumpkins.
  – Bagpipes Day:  So we can have blessed silence the rest of the year.
  – Day after Valentine’s Day:  Buy your sweetie a giant heart shaped box of candy for half price.
  – April Fool’s Month:  Named for the politicians who find creative new ways to spend our tax money.
  – Ex-Lacks Day:  When you call your ex to tell him/her exactly what is wrong with him/her.
  – Good-Old-Days Day:  Turn off all your electronic devices for 24 hours.
  – February 29th Day:  For those who only like occasional holidays.
  – Day-O Day:  A day to celebrate Caribbean music.
  – When Pigs Fly Day: Ask out that girl or guy who said no way and they have to say yes.
  – Dementia Day: On this special day men get to do what they normally do but without getting grief from their wives.
  – Martin Luther King Sr. Day:  Like Fathers Day, only more specific.
  – National Automated Telephone Freedom Day:  All automated phone lines are turned off and all calls are handled by live people.
  – Be Kinde to a Comedian Week:  When John Kinde invites aspiring comics to submit articles to his blog.
  – Deficit Day:  Celebrates the day the USA pays off it debt.  Currently scheduled for October 18, 2039.
  – What Goes Around Comes Around Day:  When the verdict is guilty.
  – Don’t I know You? Day:  Celebrated by lonely men.