Joke Contest Results — Foreign Phrases

It’s time for the results of the December joke contest–Foreign Phrases

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).  The next caption contest is January 1, 2012.
 
Here are this month’s top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

persona non grata
persona non Prada:  Someone who shops at a thrift store.
     Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois

** SECOND PLACE **

haute cuisine
oat cuisine:  High-fiber diet.
     David Novick, Dayton, Ohio

** THIRD PLACE **

deja vu
deja new:  Retro fashions.
     Melanie White, Rowlett, Texas

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

ante bellum
ante potbellum:  Before the potbelly.

billet doux
bullet doux:  Hate letter.

pro bono
go Bono:  Shouted at a U2 concert.

savoir faire
save our fare:  Don’t raise transportation prices.

sang froid
sang Floyd:  Pink Floyd on the karaoke machine.

grand prix
grand spree:  Christmas shopping.

ex libris
ex-Liberace:  Formerly flamboyant pianist.

comme si, comme ca
come see, consume:  Merchant’s sales slogan around Christmas.

O sole mio.
Oh, sole me:  I’ll have the fish platter.

Post Meridiem
Post Meridiem:  The afternoon paper.

prego
pray go:  Please get lost.

Ay caramba
I can rhumba:  I’m a great dancer.

je ne sais pas
Jenny says wha?

oy vey
oy stay:  The guest that never leaves.

joie de vivre
joie de relieve:  After what seems like an eternity, you finally find a rest room.

billet doux
billet through:  A Dear John letter

femme fatale
hem fatale:  The very-mini skirt worn by a femme fatale.

dolce vita
dolce eater:  Someone with a sweet tooth.

savoir faire
savoir hair:  An excellent hair stylist.

deja vu
deja clue:  The detective later realized that the first clue contained the solution to the case.

faux pas
faux fox:  Fake fur.

que sera sera
que Sara Sarah:  How do you spell your name?

fait accompli
feta compli:  A properly-aged Greek cheese.

flagrant delicto
fragrant dictato:  Coco Chanel reciting a recipe for a perfume to her stenographer.

pro bono
probe Ono:  Questioning John Lennon’s widow.

savoir-faire
savior fare:  The Last Supper

veni, vidi, vici
vendi video vice:  I sell porno movies

force majeure
farce immature:  Juvenile humor.

ipso facto
calypso facto:  A style of music and dance originating on Trinidad and Tobago.

bon mot
Bond mot:  A clever remark from 007.

carpe diem
carpe per diem:  Take your lunch money.

caveat emptor
Dick Cavett emptor:  Be careful what you say on a talk show.

coup de grace
coupe de Grace:  Two-door auto for Monaco royalty.

aficionado
afishionado:  A highly-accomplished angler.

angst
sangst:  Fear of performing a song in public.

au courant
au current:  Up-to-date wiring

cause celebre
Claus celebre:  A Hollywood Santa.

faux pas
fo pa:  A present for dad

je ne sais quoi
je ne sais quay:  I don’t know where the boat will dock.

quid pro quo
squid pro quo:  I’ll give you some calamari for that.

vox populi
Magnavox populi:  TVs for everyone.

ala mode
ala commode:  Stylish bathroom.

habeus corpus
flabbeus corpus:  Time to join a gym.

mea culpa
mea pulpa:  I’m the one who mashed it and I’m sorry.

que sera sera
que seran Sarah:  Where’s the plastic wrap?

rigor mortis
bigger wartis:  That bump on your hand is hard.

vice versa
vice versatile:  Highly skilled in bad habits.

gracias
grassy ass:  A friendly acknowledgment to a long-timer on Occupy Wall Street.

faux pas
faux pa:  Someone pretending to be your father.

por favor
poor flavor:  Something that tastes bad.

ichi ban
nietzsche ban:  No philosophers allowed.

veni vidi vici
weni nidi Nietzsche:  I wimpy, I penniless, and I responsible.