Cartoon Caption Contest Results

It’s time for the results of our July Cartoon Caption Contest.  We feature the artwork of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.  The top lines were selected by our panel of judges (speakers and improv players).

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).

New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).  The next Joke Contest is August 1, 2012.

Here are the top captions for this month’s contest:

** FIRST PLACE **

Is it a tax or a penalty?  That depends on what your definition of “is” is.
     Terry Wall, Washington Township, New Jersey

** SECOND PLACE **

In 15 minutes I’m appearing before the Corporate Ethics Committee; would you happen to have a copy of the questions I’ll be asked?
     Scott Tredwell, Advance, North Carolina

** THIRD PLACE **

Of course, I can ask you out. The Supreme Court just ruled individual man dates as constitutional.
     Ron DesGroseilliers Jr., Spring Lake, North Carolina

 HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Oh, no…nothing personal!  I just said I liked your double breasted suit!
  – You’re concerned about breaking through the glass ceiling…I’m considering hurling myself through the glass window.
  – I’m scheduled for a review by IT Security.  Have you seen my laptop?
  – Quite honestly, Fred, I think you should get the operation.
  – I sure hope this “Dress Like A Mortician Day” does NOT catch on.
  – I can’t believe they told us to go home and change into something more Hawaiiany. Working for an internet startup sure will be a change.
  – You want a divorce just because I didn’t notice your new glasses?
  – How about that drink you’ve been turning down for the last five years?
  – OK, tomorrow I’ll be the assistant and you can be the Chairperson.
  – How crazy is that?  We both wore the same color suit today.
  – If you’re right, I’ll wear your earrings for a week.
  – The boss says that this hostile takeover needs a woman’s touch
  – It’s true that the boss called you Sweetie, but don’t take offense.  He says that to all the girls.
  – I agree that posing in bathing suits for the company’s holiday greeting card is ridiculous, but I guarantee that you will look better than me.
  – I know the boss called you a paralegal instead of a lawyer, but I wouldn’t make a Federal Case out of it.
  – I also don’t want to stand on a street corner in a clown costume, but someone has to get the word out.
  – OK, so there’s no meteor on collision course with the earth.
  – Who knew being the employee of the month doesn’t entitle you to sit on the CEO’s lap.
  – You think it’s big now, you should have seen it BEFORE the nose job.
  – I’m telling you, I just saw Spiderman out the window, with Captain America!
  – We went camping over the weekend. All the wood was wet, so I had to use hard copies of the Humor Power blog for Kinde-ling!
  – So I was supposed to do Observational Humor at today’s Toastmaster’s meeting. There was nothing funny to observe!
  – I asked him what was wrong with my writing. He said, “I can’t explain that, but I’ll recognize when it’s good!”

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in-depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.