Archive for September, 2012

New Joke Contest — What Makes You Laugh?

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

The theme for the October Joke Contest is:  What Makes You Laugh?  The trick is to tell us in three words or less.

New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).  The next caption contest is November 1, 2012.

Your challenge this month is to focus on what makes you laugh…in three words or less.

Your entry could be:
   True
   Philosophical
   Sarcastic
   Funny
   Or something else

Here are some examples:

What makes me laugh?
A baby laughing
A good friend
A campaign speech

Share your pithy insights.  Write as many lines as you can.  Then select your best lines and submit them.  If you submit more than three, the extra lines will be eligible for honorable mention.  Only your first three will be evaluated by our panel of judges for first, second and third place.

Select and submit your best entries, and your city/state/country, by October 14, 2012, to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com

Cartoon Caption Contest Results

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012

It’s time for the results of our September Cartoon Caption Contest.  We feature the artwork of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.  The top lines were selected by our panel of ten judges (speakers and improv players).

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month(alternating months).

New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).   The next Joke Contest is October 1, 2012.

Here are the top captions for this month’s contest:

** FIRST PLACE **

I got my bluetooth before I got my first tooth.
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California

** SECOND PLACE **

To me, Oldies are anything made before yesterday.
     Scott Tredwell, Advance, North Carolina

** THIRD PLACE **

Listening to this makes me feel like a kid again!
     Andrew Jones, Utah

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – It’s not the kind of download I’m used to.
  – I love that “Shake it up Baby” line in Twist & Shout.
  – The return of the baby boomers.
  – Recent studies have shown that 9/10 toddlers know how to operate the iPod better than their teenage counterparts.
  – I’m on the wait list for the iPhone 5.
  – Oh, well no wonder, you said sick it in your ear!
  – And my Junior Model comes with a Teething Ring when I use the Blue Tooth.
  – The difference between you and me sis is that you grew up with iPod touch while I was born with mine.
  – This has changed my entire outlook on life.
  – Na Na Na, Nana Na Na, Nana Na Na…
  – You realize, of course, that I can never go back to the life I once knew.
  – And that is how you create custom song mixes.
  – I’m just goo goo over Lady Gaga.
  – iPeed on my iPod; does this invalidate the warranty?
  – I never before saw a baby who could line dance before he could stand!
  – Mom said I was too old for a pacifier.
  – Baby Love, my Baby Love, I need you, Oh how I need you.
  – I like loud songs with a beat.  I call them baby boomers.
  – I told you that my investing podcast said that Facebook shares were overvalued.
  – As long as I’m listening to this, I don’t have to take a bath.
  – I remember way back when mama used to sing me to sleep with this song. I think the last time was three hours ago.
  – Here is what’s loaded on mine: Baby Rascals, Baby Professionals, Baby Einstein, Babyface, Rockabye Baby, Baby Bash, Youngbloods and Caspar Baby Pants. What’s on yours?
  – Mom and Dad just bought me an iPoo.
  – Let’s play grownups, and use these ipods so we don’t have to talk to each other.
  – Mom’s listening to a weird book called Fifty Shades of Grey.  What about Dad?
  – I can’t get enough of the Goo Goo Dolls.

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in-depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.

Anatomy of a Humorous Speech

Saturday, September 22nd, 2012

Monday, October 1, Power House Pros Toastmasters kicks off its new Humor Specialty Club format.  Featured speaker John Kinde, DTM, Accredited Speaker will present “Anatomy of a Humorous Speech.”  Join us at 6:15 pm at 920 Pilot Road, Las Vegas (Pololu Robotics and Electronics building).

Ten Things to Know About Speakers Bureaus

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

Ten Things to Know About Speakers Bureaus.  If you’re new to the speaking business, you’ll find this article very informative.   Article is by Rachelle Gardner and posted on Larry James blog.

Observational Humor — Case Study #88

Friday, September 14th, 2012

Here’s another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting.  I’ll provide the set-ups first, what inspired the jokes.  Then I’ll give you the joke and some brief comments on what made it work.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was delivered.)

1.  A speaker suggested we tell other people, “I’m so proud of you.”

2.  Member Darren LaCroix was attending the meeting.  It isn’t often that he attends because of his busy speaking schedule.  He said:  “I know many of you are shocked to see me here tonight.”

3.  Our District 33 International Speech Contest winner was practicing her contest speech for the International Convention coming up in Orlando.

4.  Our theme was British slang.  One of the words highlighted was BLOODY  (used as an intensifier to express annoyance).

5.  Another word mentioned was CHUNTER (to mutter or grumble).

6.  Another word mentioned was BUNG (to toss or give something).

7.  A speaker referred to something that could make you popular, pretty or dead.

8.  We were serving cake after the meeting.

9.  The club was voting on a new meeting format to make us a Humor Specialty Club. 

10.  A speaker mentioned how they pronounce things differently in Boston.

11.  Emily and Ben, a married couple, are both members of the club.  Often, one of them is absent from a meeting while the other one attends.

12.  A speaker admitted to being nervous.  His evaluator said that if the audience didn’t know you were nervous, don’t mention it.

THE MONOLOGUE

(We opened the Observational Humor session with comments from our members. Peter volunteered to go first and presented an excellent observational monologue of about five jokes.  When he was done I said…)
Peter, I am so proud of you.
(Very big laugh.)

Fellow Toastmasters, World Champion of Public Speaking…my God he’s actually here!  Future World Champion of Public Speaking, and bloody guests.
(I inserted a good callback into a routine speech opening.  And closed with a slang term as the twist in a rule-of-three pattern.)

Welcome to Observational chunter.
(Good call back of slang term.)

Tonight I have some observations I’d like to bung.
(Another slang term.  Being a funny sounding word was a plus.)

I have good news.  Humor can make you popular…pretty…or dead.   But not at the same time.  Let’s face it, when you’re dead, you’re no longer pretty.
(A call back which I presented as a benefit of humor.  Then added two toppers.)

In honor of tonight’s vote, the cake will taste funny.
(Using the double meaning of funny.)

I can understand that people in Boston pronounce things differently.  I lived four years in Montgomery, Alabama.  They use slang differently than we do.  When they break their arm they put it in a slang.
(A silly sound-alike that I thought might work.  It got a good laugh.)

I know you’ve noticed that Emily and Ben attend alternate meetings…because they are the same person.  But I also want you to note that, on the rare occasion when they both attend the same meeting, you never see Ben talking while Emily is drinking water.
(This is a running gag that I’ve used before, “the same person.”  Then I implied that Emily was a ventriloquist.  The joke was new to this group, although it was a joke which I recycled from another presentation.)

The Take-Home-Tip of the meeting.  If you’re running a Ponzi Scheme and you’re the only person who knows.  Don’t say anything.
(I liked the idea of linking “don’t say anything” with a Ponzi Scheme.  It received a very big laugh.  A good closer.)

Family Visit

Friday, September 7th, 2012

Me, my brothers and my Mom sharing laughs and good times in Las Vegas.

Family in Las Vegas

Family in Las Vegas

Observational Humor — Case Study #87

Friday, September 7th, 2012

Here is an analysis of another Observational Humor monologue.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.)

1.  A speaker told us about The Secret Society of Happy People.

2.  A speaker told the group that I had wondered if people were getting tired of hearing my Observational Humor monologues.

3.  The emcee said that this year celebrated the 30th Olympic games.  Some one added “of the modern era.”

4.  Dr Peter Pizor arrived at the meeting 20 minutes late. 

5.  Dr Pizor gave an impromptu speech about wearing an Olympic swimsuit.

6.  The emcee shared parts of the Olympic creed…to participate, to struggle.

7.  The emcee said that before 1912, gold medals were made of real gold.

8.  Scott, who was a guest, gave an impromptu speech about a saber.  He said, “I promise not to cut off your heads.”

9.  The Ah counter reported on Ahs, Ums, Buts, and But-Ahs, a made-up word.

10.  Beverly told us about her gold fish having babies.  She said, “I didn’t even know that gold fish fooled around.”

THE MONOLOGUE

Welcome to the Secret Society of Funny People.
(This line was primarily used as a set up for the line to follow.)

The Society is so secret that even our members didn’t know we were meeting tonight.
(The first line suggests that those who were present are funny people.  The second line provides the twist…that the funny people weren’t at the meeting because they didn’t know about it.  A good laugh.)

Oh No!  Not another John Kinde observational monologue.
(Self-deprecation.  A big laugh.)

This is my 117th monologue…of the modern era.
(The punchline was unexpected.  A good call back.)

Fellow Toastmasters, Guests, and the late Dr Pizor. 
(Plays with the double meaning of the word LATE.  A good laugh.)

I heard that Pete will be in the upcoming Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. 
(A silly connection.  A good laugh.)

Well not exactly.  He’ll be in the Mad Magazine parody of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
(A second joke on a theme.)

Your goal tonight is not to be funny…but to participate.
(First line in a triplet.)

Your goal is not to have spoken…but to have struggled.
(Second line.  Also a call back.)

And you have succeeded.
(The punchline.  You have tried to be funny and struggled.)

You get a gold star tonight.  If it were 1912 your star would have been made of real gold.
(A call back which softens the implication of struggling.)

Scott, we love having a guest who promises not to cut off our heads.  Last year we had a guest who cut off a head.  It ruined the humor for the rest of the meeting.
(A call back.  Followed by an absurd statement.  Followed by an understatement.)

Next week the word of the day will be BUT-UM.
(The trigger was “something funny.”  A call back simply repeating the funny word.)

After the meeting, we’re going to Beverly’s house to watch her fish do happy things.
(Good closer using something that had received a lot of attention during the meeting.)

New Cartoon Caption Contest

Saturday, September 1st, 2012

It’s time for our Cartoon Caption Contest for the month of September.  We feature the art of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).

New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).  The next Joke Contest is October 1, 2012.

Here is the cartoon:

Write as many captions as you can.  Then select your best three captions and submit them.  You can submit more than three lines, the extra lines will be eligible for honorable mention.  Only your first three lines will be judged by our panel of judges for first, second and third place.

Select and submit your best entries, and your city/state/country, by September 15, 2012, to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in-depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.