Here’s another Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a meeting. Remember that the purpose of developing a monologue isn’t to become a stand-up comic. The skill of creating in-the-moment jokes enables you to be totally present when you give an important speech. You develop the capability to create just one or two strong, fresh jokes to open your planned talk, giving an appearance of spontaneity to your prepared speech. The jokes provided in this monologue are not intended to make you laugh. To really appreciate the humor “you had to be there.” And you weren’t. They are provided as examples of how to create Observational Humor lines, which is a valuable skill to have.
THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented.)
1. Professional Speaker Melanie said that she charges $1000 for the first fifteen minutes.
2. Melanie said she spends so much time at home practing her speeches that her dog has started to move his lips when she’s practicing.
3. She joked about a talk having “new speech smell.”
4. A speaker told us about a new product on the market: Disposable underwear. As your trip progresses your suitcase becomes lighter as you throw away dirty clothes instead of repacking them for the trip home.
5. A speaker who is a retired Air Force pilot talked about the challenge of learning to fly. He said he took a station wagon out to the desert and practiced “flying” by rehearsing his checklist procedures in the car.
6. At the start of each club meeting, guests give a brief self-introduction by telling us who they are and why they came to the meeting. Many of the guests told us that they were former members of the club.
7. Greg evaluated a speaker and jokingly suggested that she wear a sexier dress.
Here’s a tip to save you money if you’re planning a convention. Melanie told us that the first fifteen minutes of a speech cost $1000. So book a one-hour speech and then ask the speaker to cut the first fifteen minutes.
(An absurd approach to saving money. A solid laugh and good opener.)
Or hire Melanie’s dog…who has all her speeches memorized.
(A good call back from Melanie’s speech. Good response from the audience.)
That line has new joke smell.
(I’m not sure what that means. But it was funny.)
Here’s another tip to save money. Don’t waste money on disposable underwear. The fact is, ALL underwear is disposable.
(One of the biggest laughs of the monologue. I had some toppers to follow the joke, but knew they weren’t as funny as the opening line. When the opening line got such a big laugh, I decided to drop the subsequent lines. I knew the follow-on lines would appear weak by comparison.)
This just in…Recently declassified information: In the Vietnam war, we won some engagements againist the Viet Cong by attacking them with Station Wagons.
(A good call back. The trigger is absurdity. Good laugh.)
To our guests this evening…we’re hoping you haven’t noticed that nearly everyone here tonight is a FORMER member of this club.
(The joke uses exaggeration. A few people were former members who were drawn to the meeting which featured a special guest speaker. The line was triggered by the self-imposed question: Wouldn’t it be funny if nearly everyone here was a former member of the club? And what would that say about our membership turnover rate? The line got a very big laugh.)
You might have noticed that Greg slipped out in the middle of the meeting. He went home to change into a sexy dress.
(I threw Greg’s line back at him. A good laugh and a strong closer.)