Dating Dictionary

Dating Dictionary — Understanding Postings in the Singles Scene

Here’s an update to our Dating Dictionary.  You may find it useful if you’re into the internet dating scene.

  – Web Cam:  An invention that has eliminated the need to ask:  “What are you wearing?”
  – Easy:  Used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
  – Eye Contact:  Something that is difficult for women since their eyes are not in their chest.
  – Friend:  An acquaintance with a flaw that makes sleeping with the person an unappealing thought.
  – Love at First Sight:  What happens when two aroused, not-especially-choosey people meet.

  – Birth Control:  Avoiding pregnancy by pills, condoms, or dating repulsive people.
  – Committed:  Sees therapist but is not incarcerated.
  – Indifference:  An emotion which is often read as “playing hard to get.”
  – Interesting:  How a man describes a woman who lets him do all the talking.
  – Irritating Habit:  What the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people turn into after four months together.

  – Law of Relativity:  How attractive a person appears to be is inversely  proportional to the number of minutes remaining before the club closes.
  – Sober:  A condition in which it’s almost impossible to fall in love.
  – Loves Adventure:  Has had more partners than you ever will.
  – Average Looking:  On their first visit to your home, all your clocks will stop.
  – Good Looking:  Able to look at objects really well.
  – Very Good Looking:  Arrogant.

  – Educated:  College dropout.
  – Highly Educated:  Will treat you like an idiot.
  – Fun:  Annoying.
  – Open Minded:  Will sleep with your sister (and your brother).
  – New Age:  Hair in places you’d rather not find it.

  – Romantic:  Looks better in candle light.
  – Looking for Soul Mate:  Stalker.
  – Young At Heart:  Body is falling apart.
  – 40 Something:  60 something looking for 20 something (average is 40)
  – Friendship First:  As long as it includes nudity.

  – Gym Fit:  Loves looking in mirror.
  – Spiritual:  Seven years ago attended an Easter service.
  – Stable:  Arrested twice but never charged.
  – Thoughtful:  Says Please when demanding a beer.
  – Height or length:  Subtract two inches.

  – Weight:  Add ten percent.
  – Swimmers build:  Whales swim.
  – Athletic:  Watches ESPN.
  – Rugged:  Bad complexion.
  – Feminine:  You’ll smell the perfume before turning the corner.
  – Masculine:  You’ll wish they were wearing perfume.

  – In Shape:  Round is a shape.
  – Financially secure:  Able to pay the interest on credit cards each month.
  – Age is Relative:  Looks like your aunt or uncle.
  – Free Spirit:  Recently out on parole.