Changing Careers

This month’s contest theme comes from an Improv Game called “Once was…now is.”  In the improv game, one of the players is designated as a person who used to work in a specific career field.  He or she has left that career field and now works in a different one.  Their behavior in the new career field is influenced by their first career.  In the improv game the players act out an entire scene.  In this contest we’ll just be looking for a single punchline.  We’re going to have a person as coming from a variety of career fields, but now working as a speech coach.

Here is the formula for the joke:
The person once was a (BLANK), now is a speech coach:  (You’ll tell us what that person would say when coaching a speaker.)

Here are three examples:

Once was a Drill Sergeant, now is a speech coach:  “I can’t hear you!!”

Once was a dog trainer, now is a speech coach: “Speak!”

Once lived in the 1920s, now is a speech coach:  “An effective opening is, Mr Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters and Honored Guests.”

Write as many lines as you can.  Humor is a numbers game.  The more lines you write, the more likely it is that you’ll discover a gem.  Submit your best three lines to  You may submit more than three lines.  The additional lines will be eligible for Honorable Mention.  Submit your entries by May 15, 2013.

New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month.  The next contest will be announced June 1.