Contest Results — Incompatible Careers

It’s time for the results of our October Joke Contest:  Incompatible Careers.  Our readers submitted moonlighting careers which would be a mis-match.
 
New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month.  The next contest will be announced on November 1.

Here are the top lines from the October contest:

** FIRST PLACE **

Five old rich guys should not moonlight as the Rolling Stones.
     Tom Nee, Oak Lawn, Illinois

** SECOND PLACE **

A drill sergeant should not moonlight as a sensitivity therapist.
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California

** THIRD PLACE **

Sunshine should not moonlight.
     Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois

HONORABLE MENTION (In random order)

  – A major should not moonlight as a miner.
  – A Wal-Mart greeter should not moonlight as a live mannequin.
  – A tennis pro should not moonlight as a waitress.  She would have a mean serve.
  – A mime should not moonlight at a bank.  He would not be able to perform the duties of teller.
  – A car salesmen should not farm lemon groves.

  – A mail clerk should not moonlight as a documents shredder.
  – A meat tenderizer should not moonlight as a massage therapist.
  – A drug abuse assistance counselor should not moonlight as a bartender.
  – A pet shop owner should not moonlight as a cat burglar.
  – A sheep shearer should not moonlight as a hair stylist.

  – A hog caller should not moonlight as an opera singer.
  – A roller coaster operator should not moonlight as a bus driver.
  – A pro artist should not moonlight as a con artist.
  – A floorwalker should not moonlight as a street walker.
  – A funeral service manager should not moonlight as a laughter therapist.

  – A member of congress should not have any other job that has any degree of respectability.
  – A dentist should not moonlight as the Tooth Fairy.
  – A marriage counselor should not moonlight as a divorce attorney.
  – An actor playing a doctor on TV should not moonlight as a real doctor.

 – A white face Circus Clown might not be good moonlighting as a Plain Clothes Detective.

 – A mattress Tester should probably not take an extra job as a Night Watchman.