Joke Contest Results — Faint Praise

It’s time for the results of our February Joke Contest.  Our top lines were selected by our panel of judges (speakers and improv players).

Our Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month.   You will find our next contest in our Newsletter and on our Blog on March 1.

Here are our top lines from our contest – Faint Praise.  Thanks to David Novick, from Dayton Ohio, for inspiring this month’s Joke Contest theme.


Bob’s Basement Dry Waterproofing:  The transformation was unbelievable.  Before, I had a wet basement, now it’s a swimming pool.

Terry Wall, Washington Township, New Jersey


Their body work on my car was amazing, when I got it back, I couldn’t tell it was a car.

Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California


The antacid tablet was so good at getting rid of my indigestion that I completely forgot I was having a heart attack.

Candace Allen, Crofton Maryland

HONORABLE MENTION (In random order)

– Our new apartment complex is only 12 miles from downtown, a mere 90 minutes in rush hour traffic.

– There’s always a line at Sammy’s Subs and Suds, and a couple of ambulances, too.

– Joe is a snazzy dresser, if you like 70’s plaid.

– Of all the times I’ve ever heard this song, his new arrangement was the most recent.

– As handy man companies go, he’s better than the bottom 10 percent of them.

– They are a great bunch of football players, now all they need to do is to be a team.

– The half-time show performers at the Superbowl are so much better than they sounded.

– Herbie doesn’t say much for a counselor, but when he does, he doesn’t say much.

– I was filled with mixed emotions from his lecture, the principal one of which was total boredom.

– The We’ll Fix You Auto Repair Shop is so focused on quality that if we don’t find the problem immediately, we’ll have you bring your car back a second time, a third time, a fourth time, a fifth time.

– Joe’s Movers move your furniture fast, and give you an excuse to repaint your walls.

– I love calling your customer service line.  I can nap while on hold.

– He’s handsome in pitch darkness.

– Our wedding photographer sent us the most beautiful set of pictures…from someone else’s wedding.