Humor Contest Results — It Was So Windy

It’s time for the March Joke Contest. The theme comes from the popular “How Windy Was It” Johnny Carson routine. We had the challenge to come up with lines for:

– How hungry were you?
– How hot were you
– How rich were you?
– How funny were you?

Here are the top lines submitted by our readers:

BEST LINES

– I’m so hungry, I’ll swallow anything that political pundits are saying.
Tom Nee, Oak Lawn, Illinois

– I’m so hot, I can’t eat humble pie until it’s cold.
Kaye Newton, Raymond Terrace, New South Wales, Australia

– I’m so rich, I go cow tipping with hundred dollar bills.
Ethan Nguyen, Las Vegas, Nevada

– I’m so funny, when I view the Mona Lisa, she smirks.
Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California

RUNNER-UP LINES

– I’m so hungry, I could eat a vegetarian.
Les Harden, Brisbane, Australia

– I’m so hot, I can’t get within three feet of my curtains.
Ardelle Bellman, Las Vegas, Nevada

– I’m so rich, when the old woman in a shoe asked for help to get a bigger place, I bought her Italy.
Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois

– I’m so un-funny, my joke got Horrible Mention.
Pete Ward

HONORABLE MENTION

– I’m so hot, I moonlight as sunshine.
– I’m so rich, I vacation in Silicon Valley to see how poor people live.
– I’m so rich, my Hip Hop CDs come with a rapper.
– I’m so rich, I make my stock brokers look like broke stalkers.
– I’m so hungry, I could eat a vegetarian.
– I’m so funny, I made John Kinde smile. Of course he was standing on his head.
– I’m so hot, I am Victoria’s Secret.
– I’m so hungry, my stomach growls at 66 decibels.
– I’m so funny, my wife laughs at all my old jokes every time I tell them.
– I’m so funny, bloggers ask for my joke contest ideas.
– I’m so funny, I drive a clown car.
– I’m so rich, I had the Bentley windshield ground to my glasses prescription.
– I’m so hot, I’m required by law to carry ice cubes at all times.
– I’m so hot, my dates wear fireproof suits.
– I’m so rich, my wife had to divorce me twice.
– I’m so hungry, when I walk into a fast food restaurant, its stock price rises.
– I’m so rich, if I’m losing at the casino, I buy the casino.
– I’m so funny, people laugh at me even before I get to the punchline.
– I’m so hungry, when they see me coming, “all you can eat” restaurants hang “out of business” signs on their door.
– I’m so hot, they call me Mr. Habañero.
– I’m so rich, I hired someone to write the rest of this joke for me.
– I’m so rich, I raise people’s cholesterol just walking past them.
– I’m so funny, the judges of these contests are jealous.
– I’m so funny, my wife laughed at one of my jokes.
– I’m so funny, all the other contestants hired me to write their jokes.