Joke Contest Results — Naked Person

It’s time for the results of the May Joke Contest:  What To Say to a Naked Person.

Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month. Our next contest is June 1, 2014.

Here are the top lines and Honorable Mention entries from this month’s contest, selected by our panel of judges (speakers and improv players).


I can give you clothes, but no cigar.
Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinios


Golly, Pat, I thought you were a guy.
Sandy Kampner, Evergreen Park, Illinois


Sorry. Most of the group wants to keep the air conditioning on.
David Novick, Dayton, Ohio

HONORABLE MENTION (In random order)

– You look more naked in person.
– You look good in that birthday suit.
– We can’t serve you unless you’re wearing shoes and a shirt.
– I’m trying to imagine you with your clothes on.
– President Truman, is it true that the buck naked stops here?

– Great monologue, John, but why such a large lectern?
– I’m from Missouri, the Show ME state.
– You must be the Emperor.
– I hear nude is the new black.
– That’s a great way to save money at the health club. You don’t need
to rent a locker.

– You’ve been taken to the cleaners again.
– The doctor will see you now. Literally.
– Yes, this is a nudist camp, but we usually dress for dinner.
– You’re dressed appropriately, but the Medical Examiner only sees
dead people.
– You obviously don’t know the meaning of a strip mall.

– I can’t wait to see your magic act – what do you do for sleeves?
– That outfit looks better on you than it would on me.
– Are you the Streaker of the House?
– You’re right.  It is cold in here.

– Barry?
– I think the striped tie.
– That’s what this country needs, more transparency.
– They told me this town had some nice sights. They were right.