Ups and Downs of English

UPS and DOWNS of the English Language

I’m a fan of creating my own humor writing exercises.  I saw a post online which discussed the crazy English Language.  It got me going UP and DOWN the strange contrasts in our colorful language.  Here are some of the things I came up with:

Why fill a pillow with DOWN if you’re only going to fluff it UP?

Why do they say a bank robbery is going DOWN when they’re being held UP?

If a balloon goes UP in flames, will it come crashing DOWN?

If someone is feeling DOWN why do they need to throw UP?

If you’re number was UP, would it make you feel DOWN?

In Blackjack, if your luck was on the UPswing, why would you double DOWN?

If you were DOWN on your luck, why would you give UP?

If a team is DOWN two in the ninth, why would the next batter be UP?

If you were consoling someone who was UP-set, would you be a DOWN comforter?

If you put a paper bag over your head when you had hick-UPS, would you put a plastic bag over your head if you had hick-DOWNS?

If you cured hick-UPS by scaring someone, would hick-DOWNS be cured by love at first sight?

Now you’re all caught UP and have the low DOWN on the latest definitions.

I just made this UP and wrote it all DOWN.