Contest Results — Almost TV

It’s time for this month’s contest winners. The theme for the contest is ALMOST TV. The challenge is to come up with the title of an imaginary TV show that almost sounds like a real show. Then follow the made-up title with a brief description of the show.

Here are the top lines selected by our panel of judges (improv players and speakers).


Leopardy. Quiz show where if you don’t have the right questions about predatory animals, you really lose.
Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois


The Wig Thang, Deary: How to make homemade hairpieces.
David Novick, Dayton, Ohio


The Tazing Chase: Cops armed only with tasers go after panhandlers,
jaywalkers, and parking violators.
Terry Wall, Washington Township, New Jersey

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

– Tooth or Consequences: Dental students guess which tooth to pull.
– American Midol: Contestants try to obtain over the counter drugs
under Obamacare.
– R*A*S*H: Top dermatologists try to identify new skin diseases.
– Hawaii VO5O: Top Island hairdressers show their stuff.
– The Grate Race: Chefs shred their favorite cheeses to beat the clock.

– 30 Rocks: Contestants from primitive cultures learn to count.
– Duluth or Consequence: Three wrong answers and you’re out in the
– Prancing on the Parallel Bars, on Mars: Gymnastics in low gravity.
– The Offshore Rig Pyongyang Theory: Find oil in international
waters near North Korea without getting killed.
– Nay, Kid, I’m Afraid: How to teach children not to take unnecessary

– Under the Chrome: A competition to rip you off the most while
pretending to fix your car.
– Under the Foam: World Series of Beer Pong
– Meal or no Meal. Parents of teenagers return home after work to see
if their children ate all the food. Winners are the parents with the least
food to eat. The prize is dinner at their child’s favorite restaurant,
where the parents eat but their children only get to watch.
– Password? Anyone over 50 who remembers 50% or more of their
passwords receives a suite of programs, each program with it’s own
– Are you smarter than a 28th grader? Winners get an honorary PhD

– Let’s make a meal: Contestants swap half the ingredients of their
favorite recipes with each other, and then see who comes up with the
best dish. Winner gets their ingredients back and dinner at the show
host’s house.
– Family Freud. Guest psychologists attempt to analyze your family.
Loser must live with your family for one month.
– The Rice is Bright. Cooking contest to see who can make the shiniest
side dish.
– Behind Closed Doors: The program for peeping toms.
РCriminal Mimes: Marcel Marceau leads his young proteg̩ on a new
crime spree every week.

– Shiv Another Day: Armed with only his wits and a knife, Jack Bauer
has to survive his first day in Leavenworth.
– 2 Broke Merles: Down on their luck Dixon and Haggard become
waiters in a Country Western Zombie bar.
– Dancing with Their Cars: A cross between a dance competition and a
Demolition Derby.
– The Fracklist: Disgruntled oil & gas driller wants to expose corrupt
EPA officials.
– Guillotine Island: Castaways set up a dictatorial government.

– Rome Improvement: Tourists partake in making over famous ruins
of the world.
– Under the Superdome: Fans become trapped in the stands at a
never-ending football game.
– Fiends: Ghouls, zombies, and werewolves get together every week at
the same bar to recall old crimes.
– The Big Wang Theory: Series documenting aspects of whether size
really matters.
– Have Buns, Will Travel: Adventures of an itinerant baker.

– Wild, Wild, Vest: Upper body fashion show.
– Sons of Apathy: Sequence of stories about lackluster guys.
– Perqs and Recreation: Intrigue as to why the head Ranger gets all
the side benefits.
– Mall in the Family: “Shop ’til you drop” is this family’s watchword.
– Bored to Death: CEOs meet untimely demises, one by one.
– Silicone Valley: A breast augmentation doctor’s adventures.