New Joke Contest — Drugs You Can’t Live Without

The theme of the January Joke Contest was suggested by Gerald Fleischmann: Drugs You Can’t Live Without.

Your challenge this month is to come up with a new pharmaceutical drug. You could use some of these to descibe your new product:
– Genric Name
– Trade Name
– What it’s made of
– Prescription or OTC
– Recommended dose
– Benefits
– Side effects
– Cost
– Or other relevant information

Here are some examples:

Freelandia. Enjoy the retirement you’ve always dreamed of. The miracle memory drug costs you nothing until you die. At that time your heirs pay for thedrug with the deed to your home.

BoldLangZine: Works with traditional anti-depression drugs to make you the good old fellow you used to be, which nobody can deny. Sold Over the Counter in the alcoholic beverage department. Don’t forget the party hats and noise makers.

PrimalsKreeem: This amazing cream melts your tension away. Side effect: You may be mistaken for a painting by Edvard Munch.

Scamtastic: The 21st Century cure all. Made from organic free radicals of the Nile Valley Golden Asp. Formerly sold only by salesmen from the back of their van. Now available on the internet.

DawnSurprise (balsalmic tri-phosphorus sulfide). Supercharges your elimintion system overnight.

Write as many lines as you can and then submit your three best lines for top-three recognition by our judges. Send your lines to not later than January 15, 2015. If you submit more than three lines, the extra lines will be eligible for Honorable Mention.