Archive for February, 2015

Contest Results — State of the Humor

Monday, February 23rd, 2015

Here are the top lines for the February Joke Contest — State of the Funny. Some of our subscribers said that this contest was more difficult than most.

New contests are announced on the first of the month. The next contest starts on March 1, 2015.

Here are our top three and honorable mention entries:


The District of Columbia is funny because it has the most politicians.
Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California


California is funny because it produces the most tomatoes, and you can’t have humor without tomatoes.
Tom Nee, Oak Lawn, Illinois


Minnesota is funny because it is the home of Minnehaha Falls.
Sandy Kampner, Evergreen Park, Illinois

HONORABLE MENTION (In random order)

Nevada is funny because Prostitution is legal but jaywalking is illegal.

California is funny because you can sing and experience shake rattle and roll.

Wisconsin is funny because you can be cheesy and that’s a good thing.

New York New York is NOT funny because you have to repeat yourself.

Florida is funny because its fitness program consists of aerobic shuffleboard.

Illinois is funny because our politicians start in office and end up in jail.

Texas is funny because all my exes live in Texas.

Illinois is funny because of Tom Nee, Sandy Kampner, Marty Bernstein, and Pat Foley.

Missouri is funny because its mules always say Hee-Haw!

Observational Humor — Case Study #132

Sunday, February 15th, 2015

Here’s another Observational Humor Monologue from an NSA Las Vegas chapter meeting. First we will look at the set-up. And then we’ll review the monologue and what made the jokes tick. It was an average monologue with a terrific closer.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was presented.)

1. A speaker commented that many people from North Dakota had stoic, peaceful, laid-back personalities.

2. A speaker commented on the importance of having energy in your

3. A member, in his self-introduction, joked about being in the Witness
Protection Program.

4. I’ve joked in the past that I look like Mr Rogers.

5. Walter Bond said that to be a point guard you need the right physical gift and you need to work hard.

6. Marvelous Mark said that was unique and never duplicated.

7. A speaker mentioned the Wild Birdfeeder Organization.

8. A speaker mentioned Chick Flicks.

9. A speaker mentioned Jesus.

10. A speaker mentioned Brian Williams.

11. A speaker mentioned that he had 13 professional engagements in

12. Judy Moreo was wearing black pants and a suit jacket with bold
black and white stripes. Marvelous Mark was wearing a black suit coat
and pants with bold black and white stripes.


I’m from North Dakota…where this is high energy.
(Self-deprecation. Poking fun at my easy-going personality.)

I met a famous speaker who said: “Why don’t I know you?”
The reason she didn’t know me was that I’m in the Witness Protection Program.
(A good laugh, but not a big laugh.)

Being in the Witness Protection Program is a lot of work. On each day of the week I need to be a different person:
(The Witness Protection Programs lines were set-up lines for the
following list.)

On Sundays I’m Mr Rogers.
(Good laugh.)

On Mondays I’m a point guard.
(Fair laugh.)

On Tuesdays I’m Marvelous Mark
(Good laugh.)

On Wednesdays I’m a Wild Bird Feeder.
(Fair laugh.)

On Thursdays I’m a Chick Flick Star.
(Bigger laugh.)

On Fridays I’m Jesus.
(Good laugh.)

And on Saturdays I’m Brian Williams.
(Fair laugh.)

Last month I had 13 paid gigs…in Afghanistan.
(Big laugh. This was a topper to the Brian Williams line.

I recommend arriving a our meetings early. You learn interesting
things about our members. Would Judy and Mark please stand? I was in the parking lot when Judy and Mark arrived. They shook hands. And before they entered the bulding, they shook traded jackets.
(They were dressed in a way that it appeared that Judy came to the
meeting in a Black Suit…and that Mark came to the meeting in a suit
with bold Black and White Stripes. And before they entered the
building, they traded jackets. This joke received an absolutely huge
laugh. I figured the joke would work, and that’s why I used it as a
closer. But I was pleasantly surprised how big the response was. The
factors of SURPRISE, SUPERIORITY, ABSURDITY, and probably some others, resulted in the biggest laugh I’ve had in a year. The SURPRISE factor had people thinking, “Yeah, that’s right. It’s amazing that someone made that connection.” The SUPERIORITY factor counted on the audience being able to figure out the joke for themselves. Fortunately I had a smart audience who was also attentive and put the puzzle pieces together allowing them to figure out the joke, triggering the Superiority Factor. With great reward comes great risk. This joke had the potential to totally bomb. If audience members were preoccupied and not paying close attention to, and analyzing, the lines, the joke would have never worked. And the ABSURDITY factor made the joke funny, because after they connected the dots, they then realized that trading jackets was a ridiculous thing that would have never happened. Comments after the meeting: “You hit it out of the park.” “That was the funniest thing I ever heard.” “Absolutely amazing!” And more. And as you read the monologue, you’re pobably thinking, “I didn’t think that was so funny.” You had to be there. With the power of Observational Humor…you ARE there.

Humor Writing Exercise

Friday, February 6th, 2015

A couple of weeks ago I saw a gag on the internet:
Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It was OK.”
So the most logical thing for me to do was to create my own humor writing exercise. I call it Elemental Relationships.

The goal is to create new joke relationships using elements on the periodic table. Here are a few lines I came up with:

Sulpher and Oxygen went on a second date. It was SO SO.

Sulpher, Sodium, Carbon and Potassium went on a double date. Just
for a SNACK.

Chlorine, Iodine, Carbon, and Potassium went on a double date. It
didn’t CLICK

Beryllium and Gold became BEAUs after meeting at a singles bar when
Beyrillium shouted accross the bar, “Hey You.”

Iron and Argon’s relationship was based on FEAR. One was concerned
with heavy metals creeping into the diet. The other was kept awake at
night by the price of gas.

What joke have you heard recently that could trigger the thought in
your mind, “I could create some jokes based on that joke theme! Create your own exercises. Or write some jokes on the Elemental Relationships theme. Create jokes that are just for you. It’s like going to the gym.

New Joke Contest — State Of The Funny

Sunday, February 1st, 2015

The theme for February is The State Of  The Funny.  Why is a specific state funny?

Here are three states I’ve lived in.

Nevada is funny because you can get married and gamble…but I repeat myself.

North Dakota is funny because you need a sense of humor to deal with the winters.

 California is funny because you can deliver your punch lines in 85 languages.

  1. Your joke should fit the formula:  STATE is funny because…
  2. You can submit one joke each for the state you live in and two other states.  A total of three jokes.  This is an exercise in writing lots of jokes and then figuring out which ones are the funniest.  No recognition for Honorable Mention beyond three entries.
  3. In which city and state do you live?
  4. You can submit a joke for a province, or territory, or comparable geographic area for your country.
  5. Submit your entries by February 15, 2015