Contest Results — Family Business

It’s time for the results of our March Joke Contest.  The theme is Family Business. What if a celebrity started a business with their name on it?  What if the type of business seemed like a bad choice?

New Joke Contests open on the first of the month. The next contest will be announced on April 1.

Now here are this month’s top lines.

** FIRST  PLACE **

Ellen Burstyn opens Burstyn Balloon Rides.
Sandy Kampner, Evergreen Park, Illinois

** SECOND PLACE **

Jamie Lynn Spears and Brooke Shields open a medieval weapons outlet.
Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California

** THIRD PLACE **

Governor Christie is opening a construction company called Bridge
Over Troubled Waters.
Terry Wall, Washington Township, New Jersey

HONORABLE MENTION  (in random order)

– Janet Jackson owns a Velcro manufacturing company.
– Brad Pitt’s Pitted Prunes.
– Susan Saranden sells seashells on the seashore.
– Ice Skating World by Grace Slick.
– Taylor Swift Track and Field Coaching.

– Minnie Pearl opens Minnie’s Pearls of Wisdom hat pins.
– Taylor Swift opens Swift’s Speed Dating Service.
– Beyonce Knowles opens Beyonce Knowles Best cosmetics.
– Jennifer Lopez opens the Lo-Pez Pez Dispenser collectable store.
– Jay-Z opens Z’s Sleep Disorders Clinic.

– M.C. Hammer opens the Hammer Anesthesia Group.
– Bruno Mars and Venus Williams open the Mars-Venus Marriage
Counseling Service.
– 50 Cent opens 50 Cent Financial Planning.
– Davis Price and Rob Lowe open Lowe Price Stores.
– Brad Pitt opens a fruit stand named Pitt’s Bowl of Cherries.

– Usain Bolt opens Bolts for the Door Store.
– Alicia Keys opens Keys Locksmith Shop.
– Harry Styles opens Styles Styles.
– Jack Pence and Curt Schilling open Pence & Shilling Currency
Exchange.
– Charity Shea opens Shea’s Lounge.

– Stephen Foster opens an adoption agency.
– Gerard Butler opens a murder investigation firm.
– Amy Winehouse opens a complaint department.
– Maria Carey opens a courier service.
– Winona Ryder opens a taxi service.

– Teri Hatcher opens a chick incubation service.
– Jon Hamm opens an amateur radio shack.
– Carrie Underwood opens antique typewriter boutique.
– Kristen Bell opens her own phone company after becoming a mother.
– Keith Urban opens a city planning office.

– Kevin Spacey opens a satellite launch facility.
– Jordin Sparks opens a fire prevention service.
– Billy Graham opens a cracker factory.
– Larry King, Queen Latifah, Earl Warren, Duke Ellington, Ted
Knight, and Prince open a White Castle chain.
– Jean Claude Van Damme opens a hydroelectric dam.

– Vladimir Putin is opening a recording studio called Putin on the Ritz.
– Justin Bieber’s opening a delivery service called Justin Time.
– Justin Bieber’s opening a fix-it shop called Leave It To Bieber.
– Megan Fox’s Chicken Farm.
– Kellie Pickler Party Planner.

– Snowden’s Computer Repair and Maintenance. Specializing in virus
removal and file recovery.
– Benjamin and Aretha Franklin open a singing school. We’ll teach
you to hit those C notes.
– Jack Benny’s Tool Rental and Pharmacy. The place to get your Benny
Drills.
– Carmen Miranda becomes a boxer then has success delivering
Miranda rights to arrestees.
– The Henry Ford Sporting Goods Company, specializing in Dodge
balls.
– Christopher Walken goes into TV production, creates the Walken
Dead.