Contest Results — Family Business

It’s time for the results of our March Joke Contest.  The theme is Family Business. What if a celebrity started a business with their name on it?  What if the type of business seemed like a bad choice?

New Joke Contests open on the first of the month. The next contest will be announced on April 1.

Now here are this month’s top lines.


Ellen Burstyn opens Burstyn Balloon Rides.
Sandy Kampner, Evergreen Park, Illinois


Jamie Lynn Spears and Brooke Shields open a medieval weapons outlet.
Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California


Governor Christie is opening a construction company called Bridge
Over Troubled Waters.
Terry Wall, Washington Township, New Jersey

HONORABLE MENTION  (in random order)

– Janet Jackson owns a Velcro manufacturing company.
– Brad Pitt’s Pitted Prunes.
– Susan Saranden sells seashells on the seashore.
– Ice Skating World by Grace Slick.
– Taylor Swift Track and Field Coaching.

– Minnie Pearl opens Minnie’s Pearls of Wisdom hat pins.
– Taylor Swift opens Swift’s Speed Dating Service.
– Beyonce Knowles opens Beyonce Knowles Best cosmetics.
– Jennifer Lopez opens the Lo-Pez Pez Dispenser collectable store.
– Jay-Z opens Z’s Sleep Disorders Clinic.

– M.C. Hammer opens the Hammer Anesthesia Group.
– Bruno Mars and Venus Williams open the Mars-Venus Marriage
Counseling Service.
– 50 Cent opens 50 Cent Financial Planning.
– Davis Price and Rob Lowe open Lowe Price Stores.
– Brad Pitt opens a fruit stand named Pitt’s Bowl of Cherries.

– Usain Bolt opens Bolts for the Door Store.
– Alicia Keys opens Keys Locksmith Shop.
– Harry Styles opens Styles Styles.
– Jack Pence and Curt Schilling open Pence & Shilling Currency
– Charity Shea opens Shea’s Lounge.

– Stephen Foster opens an adoption agency.
– Gerard Butler opens a murder investigation firm.
– Amy Winehouse opens a complaint department.
– Maria Carey opens a courier service.
– Winona Ryder opens a taxi service.

– Teri Hatcher opens a chick incubation service.
– Jon Hamm opens an amateur radio shack.
– Carrie Underwood opens antique typewriter boutique.
– Kristen Bell opens her own phone company after becoming a mother.
– Keith Urban opens a city planning office.

– Kevin Spacey opens a satellite launch facility.
– Jordin Sparks opens a fire prevention service.
– Billy Graham opens a cracker factory.
– Larry King, Queen Latifah, Earl Warren, Duke Ellington, Ted
Knight, and Prince open a White Castle chain.
– Jean Claude Van Damme opens a hydroelectric dam.

– Vladimir Putin is opening a recording studio called Putin on the Ritz.
– Justin Bieber’s opening a delivery service called Justin Time.
– Justin Bieber’s opening a fix-it shop called Leave It To Bieber.
– Megan Fox’s Chicken Farm.
– Kellie Pickler Party Planner.

– Snowden’s Computer Repair and Maintenance. Specializing in virus
removal and file recovery.
– Benjamin and Aretha Franklin open a singing school. We’ll teach
you to hit those C notes.
– Jack Benny’s Tool Rental and Pharmacy. The place to get your Benny
– Carmen Miranda becomes a boxer then has success delivering
Miranda rights to arrestees.
– The Henry Ford Sporting Goods Company, specializing in Dodge
– Christopher Walken goes into TV production, creates the Walken