Humor Contest — New National Holidays

New National Holidays

What new National Holiday would you propose? Why? How would we celebrate it? When would it be? Don’t try answering all the questions. Being brief is better

Labor Day: The day before Thanksgiving. It will be the only day of the year when we do go to work. Since the next day is Thanksgiving Day, nobody will work past noon.

April Fools Day: The second Tuesday in November. We celebrate it by giving a pension of 25 times the minimum wage to anyone even thinking of running for national office. No photo ID required to qualify for the pension.

National Fitness Day: Celebrated by staying home, watching sports on TV, drinking beer, and eating poato chips.

Submit your best three holidays to: not later than April 15, 2015 (right after you mail in your taxes). If you send in more than three entries, the additional lines will be eligible for Honorable Mention.