Humor Power

I’m going to share a Toastmasters Area Contest speech with you which was written and delivered by Steve Pavlina.  Steve is a serious student of humor.  He practices Observational Humor at the same Toastmasters club I attend.  He played with my improv troupe and performed in two of our shows.  And every week he beats me in 18 holes of Disc (Frisbee) Golf by about three strokes.  Very funny.

Here’s the text of his speech about polyphasic sleep.  My comments and a few observations by Steve follow the text.  (Note: Steve makes references to “act-outs” which is the technique of “stepping outside the speech” to bring drama and theater to the talk.)
 
39-1/2 Winks

Do you ever feel like you have too much to do and not enough time to do it?  What would you say if I told you there was a way you could gain an extra 6 productive hours every day?  Imagine what you could do with an extra 6 hours a day.  You could write a book.  You could learn a foreign language.  You could almost serve as Area Governor.

Mr. Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters, and welcome guests.  Two years ago I learned about a strange experiment done by a group of college students.  They claimed to be sleeping only 2 hours a day, and they kept it up for 6 months.  Now my reaction was probably the same as yours.  It’s humanly impossible, right?  But it was true.  What the students did was called polyphasic sleep.  Polyphasic means “many phases.”  They slept only 20 minutes at a time…every 4 hours…around the clock.

Adjusting to polyphasic sleep is not easy.  Eventually your brain will adapt to the shorter sleep cycles, but until that happens, you’ll have to endure several days of severe sleep deprivation, including fatigue, irritability, and memory lapses.  It’s like being VP of Education.

I run a popular personal development web site, so I thought it would be fun to try adapting to polyphasic sleep as a public experiment, logging each day as I went along.  But when I announced my plans, my loyal readers said that I would surely fail, that it would probably kill me, and that they couldn’t wait to read about it! Would you like to know how it went?  Alright, here’s what I wrote in my logs.

[Days 1-6 act-out of progressively worse sleep deprivation]

Day 1.  The first night wasn’t bad.  A little TV, a little web surfing.  I felt like I accomplished something just staying awake, even though I didn’t really do anything.  It’s like I was VP of PR.  What actually worked best for staying awake was cooking. When I first told my wife Erin I was going to do this experiment, she said, “Sleep deprivation?  Why can’t I just have a normal husband?”  When she got up this morning though, she said, “Sniff sniff.  Is that sweet potato curry?”  After that she’s been very supportive.  But we both agreed I’ll stop the experiment if I show signs of suffering a psychotic break, like running for Area Governor.

Day 2.  Oh, the sleep deprivation finally hit me.  I’m taking all my naps on time, but they aren’t helping much.  I have to keep slapping myself to stay awake.

Day 3.  I feel like a total zombie.  I came this close to quitting, but a friend convinced me to stick it out a little longer.  It wasn’t until after my next nap I realized I’d been talking to a cantaloupe.

Day 4…or is it 5…no, no, it’s 4.  This morning Erin asked me, “Steve, why is your deodorant in the fridge?”  “I’m sorry, Erin; it was the cantaloupe’s idea.”

Day 5.  I stayed up all night cooking, but now I can’t find any of the food.  I really shouldn’t drive, but after five days of this, I’m going stir crazy.  So I made a quick trip to Costco.  I bought a 36-pack of kitchen timers.  I also picked up a sack of cantaloupe to keep me company.  They don’t say much, but they’re good listeners.  Apparently I bought some bubble wrap and duct tape too, but I can’t remember why.

Day 6.  Today is Halloween.  Erin unpacked her old witch costume and found this putrescent orange slime in the hat.  Turned out it was sweet potato curry.  Hopefully the cabbage rolls will turn up soon. When it got dark, Erin took the kids trick-or-treating, while I passed out candy.  When Erin came back, she said, “That was weird, Steve.  All the neighborhood kids are talking about some psycho who’s passing out kitchen timers.”

[Narrator mode] Now it took about a week, but I did successfully adapt to polyphasic sleep.  I had more energy than ever, and my productivity skyrocketed.  There was only one problem.  The rest of the world was still monophasic. 

Here’s a log entry from day 150:

[Acting psycho] These past 5 months on polyphasic sleep have been incredible, but the long nights are getting lonely.  I tried to convince Erin and the kids to get up earlier just so I can have someone to talk to.  Unfortunately they’re not into coffee, but I found another natural stimulant that will help them wake up…adrenalin.  Just before dawn I grab one of those kitchen timers and head upstairs.  I set the fuse for 5 seconds, and then I quickly open the bedroom door, lob it onto the bed, and shut the door.  When that piercing alarm goes off, oh they’re wide awake…especially since it takes them a while to remove the bubble wrap and duct tape.

[Narrator mode] 5-1/2 months after beginning this experiment, I decided to return to monophasic sleep.  I was sad to see it end, but my family threatened to have me committed. Even though it didn’t work out, I’m glad I tried polyphasic sleep, and I learned some valuable lessons.  I learned that people are more important than productivity.  I learned the migratory patterns of sweet potato curry.  And I learned there truly is no greater insanity than to serve as Area Governor.

JOHN:  Terrific speech.  It was delivered at the Area Contest.  How was the speech different from the one you gave to win the Club Contest?

STEVE:  I improved the speech a lot after the club contest, but unfortunately I overdid it, and I got disqualified for time.  (A contest speech is suppossed to fall within a 4:30 and 7:30 time frame.)  When I practiced it myself, I came in between 5:30 and 6:00, and that included what I thought were reasonable pauses for laughter.  I figured a 90-120 second buffer for extra laughter would be plenty.  But many of the jokes got such big, sustained laughs that I had to wait a long time for the laughter to die down.  I saw the red light come on and tried to wrap it up quick, cutting about 30 seconds from the end, but my final joke still got too big a laugh.  Even so, I thought I managed to close on time, but apparently I didn’t quite make it.  If I’d done the whole speech as originally planned, I’d have run well over 8 minutes.

JOHN:  Moving up the competition ladder is challenging.  One of the biggest differences is that you usually get more laughter the higher the competition level.  There are several reasons for this.  First, the audiences are usually larger.  Because of the contagious nature of laughter, this usually means more response.  Second, your speech is usually better written, thanks to your own analysis and the feedback from members at your club.  Third, you know your content better and can focus on your delivery and connection with the audience.  These three factors all help you earn more laughter from the audience.  Because of that, you need to allow time for the laughter and also be prepared to cut a segment near the end of the speech, just in case.

JOHN:  Here are some observations on the speech content:

1.  Notice that Steve doesn’t rush into getting the laughs.  He takes time to set the premise and lets the audience know where he’s going.  Then he alerts them that he’s moving to the next part of the speech with, “Alright, here’s what I wrote in my logs.”

STEVE:  The slow build-up at the beginning was intentional, with only three laughs in the first 90 seconds.  As I gave the speech, I could see the audience becoming uneasy as I explained the details of polyphasic sleep.  I could see they were wondering where the humor was, and it seemed like I was launching into a dry factual speech that would at best be punctuated with some humorous commentary.  But I was using this time to establish a connection and build speech value while setting them up for later, so all of this was just premise.  This was very effective, since that early tension only made the later laughs stronger.

2.  He customizes his humor by making references to which the audience could relate:  Area Governor (the host of this competition), VP of Education, VP of PR.  If you were speaking to a corporate audience, reference to the Division Manager, the Director of HR, the VP of Marketing, might all be good for laughs.  You need to know the group.  You need to do your homework.

3.  Steve uses the Rule-of-Three very effectively:
  - You could write a book.  You could learn a foreign language.  You could almost serve as Area Governor.
  - My loyal readers said that I would surely fail, that it would probably kill me, and that they couldn’t wait to read about it!
  - I learned that people are more important than productivity.  I learned the migratory patterns of sweet potato curry. And I learned there truly is no greater insanity than to serve as Area Governor.

4.  Steve has picked funny-sounding words.  Note that all the ones listed here include the “K” sound, which many comedy experts say are funnier.
  - cantaloupe
  - kitchen timers
  - sweet potato curry
  - cabbage rolls
  - bubble wrap and duct tape

STEVE:  I didn’t even realize I was using so many words with a K-sound.  That was accidental, not intentional.  Interestingly, my original version used “napkin” instead of “cantaloupe” (also a K-word).  When I ran the speech past Darren LaCroix, he suggested using a kumquat because it was a funnier word (and also a K-sound).  I liked cantaloupe better, so I went with that.
 
5.  The speech is rich in call backs; making reference to things introduced earlier in the speech (cantaloupe, kitchen timer, sweet potato curry, etc).  By my count there are at least nine call backs.

STEVE:  I intentionally tried to include a lot of callbacks in this speech because part of the reason I wrote this speech was to specifically experiment with that technique.  Clever callbacks can work like punch line insurance.  If the first time I make a joke about an object doesn’t quite work, by the time the speech is over, the audience will think it was only intended as a setup for a future joke anyway.  But if both jokes work, the laughter on the callback can be doubly strong.
 
6.  “Steve, why is your deodorant in the fridge?”   “I’m sorry, Erin; it was the cantaloupe’s idea.”  I’d consider changing it to: “I’m sorry, Erin; the cantaloupe asked to borrow it.”  This gives the cantaloupe a more active part, which I think makes it funnier.  I also wonder if there might be a humor connection between Musk-scented deodorant and Musk Mellon, a name by which cantaloupes are also known.

STEVE:  There were several variations I considered.  One I almost used was, “I’m sorry, Erin; the cantaloupe said he was lonely,” but I ditched it because I thought some people might construe it as sexual, and I didn’t want to use any blue humor in this speech.   Another joke I almost inserted into the 2nd paragraph was this:  “It’s humanly impossible, right?  It’s like Bachelors & Bachelorettes becoming President’s Distinguished.”  B&B was one of the clubs in this area.  I thought the joke was too harsh and opted not to use it.  It might get a big laugh, but I thought it would more likely backfire and cost me the audience.

7.  “I bought a 36-pack of kitchen timers.”  A brilliant line.  When writing a speech a person asks, “What would be the most unusual thing to be bought in a quantity-pack?”  You’d ask yourself, what item would you only need one of.  Kitchen timer is a fabulous choice.  Taking it too far, like “a 36-pack of snow tires” would lessen the impact.  Kitchen timers are closer to something you could visualize as being real, but at the same time absurd.

STEVE:  In my first draft of this speech, I made a joke about a 6-pack of kitchen timers (not a 36-pack) because I had a segment where my alarm clocks kept meeting an untimely demise.  I’d smash them, flush them, etc.  So originally that line was there to show that I was buying alarms in bulk to replace the damaged ones.  During my actual polyphasic sleep experiment, I used a kitchen timer as my primary wake-up alarm, so I was simply using exaggeration for the joke.  But in the second draft, I found the joke worked even better after I cut out the earlier mentions of the kitchen timer, since it became even more absurd.  So this was a case where using a callback turned out to be weaker than using a fresh, totally unexpected, punch line.

8.  I like Steve’s closing line, a call back and a triplet.  One alternative closer might be:  “I believe it’s time to wrap up my speech.  (Pull a kitchen timer from pocket wrapped in bubble wrap and duct tape.)  My kitchen timer is vibrating.”
 
STEVE:  I love your closing line idea.  I could have put a kitchen timer in my pocket and set the alarm to go off at some time during the speech.  Maybe then I’d have been able to bring it in on time!

Steve Pavlina’s post on Polyphasic Sleep.

Let’s take a look at an observational humor monologue I presented at a National Speakers Association chapter meeting in Las Vegas.  The guest presenter was Glenna Salsbury.

THE SET-UP (what happened and what was said at the meeting before I delivered my monologue)

1.  Glenna coached several speakers in the afternoon.  The last two speakers told stories about relationships with attractive men when they were younger.  They were the last two speakers before I delivered my monologue, and the very last speaker said she had a crush on the cutest guy in high school.

2.  Glenna said that one of the first things women wonder when seeing a woman speaking from the platform is, “How old is she?”  Then Glenna told us her age.

3.  Glenna talked about a speaker who talked fast and delivered high content.  This frustrated audience members because they couldn’t take notes fast enough.

4.  One speaker, during the coaching, told us that a guidance counselor in school told her that she would be wasting her time going to college. She now has a PhD.

5.  Glenna told about a man who was struck by lightening while wearing a Timex watch.

6.  I picked Glenna up at the airport and on the way to the hotel we started talking about Billy Graham. 

7.  Glenna told us that the fish Orange Roughy was also known as Slime Heads.

8.  The night before the meeting the officers of the chapter take the guest speaker out to dinner.

9.  Glenna told us that she was not a biblical scholar.

10.  Glenna told us a story from the bible about a group that was starving and was saved by Quails falling from the sky.

11.  Pam, a member of the audience, told us that her employees were so loyal they would throw themselves under a bus for her.   She also said she had fired some of her best employees.

12.  Glenna talked about “raising the bar.”

13.  Glenna talked about great stories making at least two organs squirt.

14.  Glenna mentioned the subject of getting dehydrated.

15.  Glenna told the story of gorilla watching in Africa.  The tour guide said when confronted with a male gorilla to:  Drop to the ground, lower your eyes and eat grass.

THE MONOLOGUE (presented at the end of the meeting)

When I was in high school…I had a crush…on the cutest guy in the class.
(I used the twist of saying the opposite of what would be expected.)

For the benefit of the women…I’m 90.
(Exaggeration is good for a laugh.)

If you haven’t seen me before, I’m a slow speaker.  Which I know will frustrate many of you.  Because I won’t say anything you’ll want to write down.
(I love this structure.  First, reversing the fast-speaker for slow-speaker.  And then linking that situation with implied low-content…self-deprecation…and the frustration that there is nothing to write down.  A great laugh.  This is a bit of a “thinking joke” which I sometimes call time-released-humor.  When you’re aware that a joke has that quality, you must be prepared to wait an extra beat for the laughs to give the audience time to process the joke.)

When I was young, a counselor told me: “You’ll never be funny.”
(A good laugh, but was delivered primarily to set up the following line.)

Then one day I was struck by lightening…while wearing a Timex.
(The punchline is implied…the event of being struck by lightening made me funny.)

I picked Glenna up at the airport yesterday.  On the way to the hotel we started to talk about Billy Graham.  Glenna said that she had heard that he is always accompanied to his hotel room to make sure there isn’t someone in the room.  So when we got to the hotel, I felt obligated to go with Glenna to the 13th floor to make sure Billy Graham wasn’t in her room.  When we opened the door to the room, I saw two 30-year old studs.  But I checked in the closet and under the bed.  And nooooooo Billy Graham.
(I really like this sequence.  The expectation is that I’d check the room for an unwanted man.  The absurdity of looking for Billy Graham makes the first joke work.  The second joke, is that two studs in the room were OK.  And then another topper bringing Billy Graham back into the picture.  I intentionally extended the vowel sound of NO to good effect.  An excellent laugh.)

Last night the board had dinner with Glenna at a really nice restaurant.  We feasted on Slime-Heads with Lemon and Capers.
(Linked the board-dinner with a call back to the fish Glenna had mentioned.)

Glenna talked about Quails falling out of the sky.  I thought she had said WHALES fell out of the sky.  That didn’t strike me as strange…since she had already told us she wasn’t a biblical scholar.
(The funny thing was that I really thought she had said WHALES.  So I wrote it down, thinking it was strange that nobody laughed.  Then as she continuted with the story, I realized she was talking about QUAIL, the bird.  I didn’t immediately have the joke, but jotted down the observation and played with it, eventually coming up with a good joke/topper sequence.)

Let me clarify what Pam told us today:  She fires her best employees because she can’t stand the thought of them throwing themselves under a bus.
(This combines two separate comments into one good joke.)

As a result of Glenna’s talk I’m going to “raise the bar.”  My back bothers me every time I bend over to pick up a drink.
(A literal interpretation of a standard expression.)

In closing, I’ve learned three things about humor:
  -  A great joke makes one organ squirt.
  -  A really great joke will dehydrate you.
  - If you tell a joke that doesn’t work:  Crouch down, lower your eyes, and smoke grass.
(This combines three observations and ties them into the humor theme of the monologue.  The triplet form works well to set up the final twist playing on the alternate meaning of grass.)

Here is another analysis of an Observational Humor monologue presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting earlier tonight.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting and before the monologue.)

1.  The Toastmaster of the Evening (Emcee) quoted Toastmasters International Speech Champion David Brooks three times.

2.  In a speech about John F. Kennedy’s inaugural address, the speaker illustrated the power of one syllable words.

3. Darren LaCroix, another Toastmasters International world champion speaker, was quoted:  “Great speeches are not written…they are re-written.”

4.  Steve Pavlina was dressed in a black suit and was wearing a black T-shirt.  As part of the observational humor he put a small square piece of paper over the neck of the T-shirt, making it look like a clerical collar.  He then offered a prayer.

5.  Bryant Pergerson introduced his son Marshall Pergerson, a guest at the meeting.

6.  In the current news, a dog had been given $12 million in a will.

7.  A speaker gave a speech titled A Jerk and a Mensch.

8.  A speaker told of an experiment where a teacher was given a memo telling her that her class was filled with under-achievers.  In spite of the fact that they were average-ability students, they performed very poorly on exams.

9.  A speaker referred to a male court reporter as the Michelle Kwan of court reporting.

10.  Anita was asked if she wanted to recognize anyone for her success.  She identified her husband, Jim, who she referred to as Honey.

THE MONOLOGUE

1.  I’d like to quote David Brooks:  “Empower your eloquent syntax with the energetic emphasis of one syllable words.”
(Of course this was not a real quote from David Brooks, but I took the liberty to make it up for the sake of the humor.  It made the twist stronger than saying I was quoting me or one of our club members.)

2.  And to quote Darren LaCroix:  “Great speeches are not written…they are typed.”
(Ditto.  Darren did not say this.  I played with a literal meaning of WRITTEN.)

3.  We were lucky that Father Pavlina could be here tonight…he had two weddings earlier this evening.
(I piggy-backed on a good laugh received by Steve a few minutes before.)

4.  If Bryant went into law enforcement…he would be Marshal Pergerson.
(This joke plays on an alternate meaning for the name Marshal.)

5.  Did you see on the news this week that a dog was awarded $12 million.  Well, enough about the jerk and the wench.
(I brought in a current events headline and crossed it with a twisted speech title, substituting a sound-alike word.)

6.  For the first time tonight I realized that my fourth grade teacher must have been given a memo telling her that we were underachievers.
(Self deprecation trying to explain my supposed poor performance in school.)

7.  Having lived through that experience, it’s amazing that I’ve become the Michelle Kwan of humor.
(Silly.  But it worked and got a good laugh.)

8.  When Anita was asked who she would like to recognize, I knew it would be Jim.  Then when she said “My Honey”…I thought, “Oh my God.  She’s going to introduce me!”
(Another silly twist.  Anita and Jim are good friends, so I knew the line was safe.)

These are notes and a monologue from a National Speakers Association chapter social networking meeting. 

**THE SET UP** (What was said or what happened during the event before I delivered the monologue.)

1.  Someone said a famous actor showed up drunk before a play.  The point they wanted to make was that because of his talent and solid technique he was still able to perform his Shakespearean role in a professional manner.

2.  The subject of Life Balance came up.  Someone said that there was no such thing as balance.

3.  Randy said that the only book he could market from a certain publisher was one titled:   I’ll Cook For Sex.

4.  Peter said he needed a good-looking assistant who could keep him going with an occasional poke from a cattle prod.

5.  Jim said that he was the President of the National Listeners Association.

6.  The National Speakers Association has specialty groups called Professional Expert Groups or PEGs.

7.  Someone said they started a Back Pain Relief web site.

8.  Someone said that a Haunted Cane sold on Ebay for $56,000.  Another person expressed great disbelief that anyone would pay that much.

9.  One person referred to another member who was present as the Michelle Kwan of Marketing, then corrected it to be the Carl Lewis of Marketing since she was referring to a man.

**THE MONOLOGUE**

We learned from a famous actor tonight that the best way to deliver a great speech is to show up drunk.
(Humor created by twisting the real meaning of the story.)

Contrary to what we heard tonight, there is something called balance.  A balanced diet for example is a Twinkie in each hand.
(Just a silly visual picture.)

I’m writing a book which Randy could easily sell:  I’ll Make You Laugh For Sex.
(This line twisted the original book title by laying my subject expertise, humor, into the title.  This could be twisted for almost any expertise.)

Peter, I’d like to help you refine your want ad for an assistant:  Want an assistant who is handy with cattle prod and looks good in leather.
(Handy is a funny word.  Leather has a humorous connotation which dresses up the Looks Good line.)

Jim, here are some suggestions to get your National Listening Association off to a good start.  First you’ll need to establish some PEGs:
   - Motivational Listeners
   - Inspirational Listeners
   - Humorous Listeners
(For people familiar with the NSA and the professional speaking business, this is a list that brings a laugh.  Remember that observational humor is often good only for the specific audience and place for which it was created.)

It’s important as speakers to realize which PEG group your audience members fit into.  For example, if you have an audience of Humorous Listeners and you’re giving a motivational speech…every time you deliver a profound motivational point…they’re going to laugh.
(A nice topper to the PEG lines joke.)

The second suggestion for the National Listeners Association would be to use the advertising slogan:  When we listen…people talk.
(I twisted the cliche advertising slogan “When we talk…people listen.”  The reversal is so backward that it’s really funny.  This was the funniest line of the monologue.)

The third suggestion would be to refer to yourself as the Michelle Kwan of listeners.
(Excellent response.  An easy line to create.)

I’ve got a great idea for a couple of business web sites:
PainInTheNeckRelief.com
PainInTheButtRelief.com

And I have something I want you to be the first to know about.
This…is a haunted pen.
Normally it would sell for $56,000.
But tonight only…it can be yours for $37,000.
(I paused after THIS to draw attention to the first punch line and build anticipation.  HAUNTED PEN got a huge laugh because I think it was totally unexpected.  It received a very big response.  Then adding the two price lines provided  toppers that also worked well.)

 Are you a subscriber to the Humor Power Tips ezine?  Don’t miss the newsletter’s feature article published every other week.  These feature articles provide humor-skill-building tips you won’t see on the blog.  Subscribe here.

Here is some observational humor from an actual Toastmasters meeting.   After taking notes during the meeting I wrote a monologue which I presented at the end of the meeting.

**THE SET-UP**(what happened and what was said during the meeting before I presented the monologue)

1.  The Toastmaster of the Evening (MC) announced that the theme for the meeting was “New York, New York.”

2.  The Toastmaster of the Evening played part of Sinatra’s song, New York, New York.

3.  The Toastmaster of the Evening (who is a mime and body language expert) said he would refrain from mime and crazy dancing during the song.

4.  TM Bill is well known for racing his Porsche.

5.  TM Mary gave a speech where she told of volunteering to sell beer at the race track to raise money for charity.

6.  TM Tim gave a speech where he talked about the High-Ropes and Low-Ropes teambuilding exercises.

7.  TM Tim talked about climbing a telephone pole and jumping for a trapeze.  The title of his talk was Leap Of Faith.

8.  TM Tim said that when he was on top of the pole it was shaking.  Then he said “wait a minute…poles don’t shake!”

9.  TM Tim talked about skydiving for the first time with an instructor strapped to his back.

10.  TM Ron, during his evaluation of the meeting, said that the Table Topics Master (the member who assigns the impromptu speech topics for the evening) sometimes calls only on the funniest members of the club, and he specifically named three people who often get called on.  He commented that that the Table Topics Master for that evening called on a good cross section of members, which he said was “the high-class way to do it.”

11.  TM Bryant gave a speech on the power of mentorship.

12.  TM Bill has been a Toastmaster member for 45 years.  He is the only member of the club who has been a member longer than my 34 years.

**THE MONOLOGUE**

The theme for tonight’s Observational Humor is “Pahrump…Pahrump.”  If you can make it there…you can make it anywhere.
(This was an obvious set up allowing me to pick the name of a local town with a funny name.)

And the good news is that I won’t do any crazy dancing.
(A good line because I’d be the last person in the room that would be expected to do any crazy dancing.)

I went to the race track this past Saturday and ran into some of our club members.
Racing around the track in his Porsche was TM Bill.
The up the aisle came “Beer!  Cold beer!  Getcha beer here!”  It was TM Mary!
(Bill racing his Porsche was a set up line to disguise the real punch line with Mary selling beer.  The Mary as a barker selling beer was a funny line because it would have been totally out of character for her.  She matches the classic definition of a lady.)

On Sunday I was involved with a Ropes Course.  Not the low ropes.  Not the high ropes.  It was the “Soap On A Rope.”
(A crazy line that popped into my head.  It got a good laugh.)

It did include the exercise to climb the telephone pole. 
I’ll tell you about the experience later, in my speech “Leak of faith.”
(A nice play on words using a similar-sounding word.)

My hand is shaking.  I guess that proves that I’m not Polish.  Poles don’t shake.
(I initially thought this might be an obvious joke.  But it got a great response.  It plays with the relationship of Poles to Polish changing the meaning from WOOD to NATIONALITY.  Then I worked it in reverse to construct the joke.)

And a point of advice for members presenting Table Topics in the future.  If you call on S, George or John…that’s the Low-Class way of doing it.
(Very simple line.  Excellent response.)

We had great speeches tonight on sky diving and mentoring.  We can all learn some valuable lessons by being mentored by members who are more experienced.  At the next meeting I’ll be giving a speech with TM Bill strapped to my back.

(This line combines elements of two speeches, skydiving and mentoring, with an absurd visual image.)

This past weekend I attended Patricia Fripp’s Speaking and Presentation Skills School for the third time.  A fun and fabulous event.  I can’t get enough.

On the second day of the workshop I presented an Observational Humor Monologue in the morning and another one in the afternoon. 

Observational humor is structured around what is happening and being said in the present moment.  It’s fresh and the audience can readily identify with it.  It will kick up the audience response to your humor a notch or two. 

Observational humor is amazingly powerful.  It’s also the type of humor where “you had to be there” to fully appreciate it.  It’s presented here as an exercise in creating something that works and is not intended to having you falling out of your chair as you read it on the computer screen.

Here’s what Patricia Fripp said about the impact of the Observational Humor at her event:

As you could tell by the laughter and delight of the audience, your observational humor was a great asset to my conference. Consider yourself booked for all my future events in Las Vegas. I was amazed at your observations, insights, and speed in preparation. Thank you for your valuable contribution; it was the perfect pick-me-up after hours of content!
Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE, Past President National Speakers Association

Here is a look at the construction of those two monologues.

THE SET-UP (What happened at the event before I delivered the monologue)

1.  Fripp suggested an opening line for one of the student presentations on a technical subject:  “Sit back…and be amazed!”

2.  One of Fripp’s pet peeves is that she hates the use of the word “stuff”.

3.  Opening a talk with a statistic was discussed as a possible option.  One student opened his talk with “Eighty-one percent….”

4.  Although it wasn’t mentioned at the event, the TV show So You Think You Can Dance aired twice that week.

5.  Fripp posed the question to the class, “What are the five questions people most frequently ask about what you do?”

6.  A student shared a story from his past when he had fallen off a boat and lost his leg.  He subsequently set a World Record in mountain climbing.  And still holds that record.

7.  Fripp suggested that one option to open a speech was “It was an ordinary day…”

8.  One of the students was named Winton Churchill.

9.  During a discussion on getting participation from audience members who do not want to participate, one student said that she had a group of doctors who were afraid to answer questions, fearing that the other doctors would think they were stupid if they didn’t know the answer.  Specifically she had a slide of a moose and was afraid that they might not know exactly what a moose was, and hesitated to ask them to name the animal.

10.  A student (Sam) arrived three hours late the first day of the class.  He said that he had been out all night partying and had not been to bed.  Then we found out that he lives in Las Vegas (which is where the event was being held).

11.  We discussed the problem of telling old jokes, in a speech, that everyone has already heard.  Two specific old jokes were mentioned:  (briefly, here are the punchlines)
     “What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?”
     “I don’t know and I don’t care.”
And a second old joke.
     “You must be nervous.” (said by a woman to a man)
     “No, I’m not nervous.” 
     “Then why are you in the ladies room?”
 
12.  Fripp told us that a woman had hired her to give her husband some presentation skills coaching.  Her comment to Fripp was, “I want to hire you for my husband for his birthday.”

13.  We discussed the proper placement of a punch word at the end of the punchline.  Patricia gave the example of the classic punchline smothered with one word added to it.  “Take my wife…please…today.”

14.  Fripp said that one of the secrets to being a better speaker was:  “To be a teeny, teeny, teeny, teeny bit better.”  The small things make the big difference.

15.  Fripp talked about breathing from the diaphragm.  In showing people how to breathe, she would normally ask someone:  “Would you be more comfortable placing your hand on my stomach, or with me placing my hand on your stomach.”

16.  We learned the value of using metaphors to describe our talks. 

17.  The class learned that I am a humor speaker who used to work with nuclear weapons.

18.  A student (Dan) presented a humorous speech where he said that flight attendants were “pretty” while his facial expression said that it wasn’t always true.

19.  A student (Stephanie) gave part of a speech for an upcoming convention where she was to be a featured speaker.  In her talk she used the acronym C.R.A.P and used the phrase “cutting through the crap.”  The talk was well-constructed, well-presented and well-received by the class.  She received a lot of laughs.

20.  The same student (Stephanie) was described by Fripp as a tall and attractive speaker (maybe six inches taller than Fripp).  Stephanie replied that being a member of the Short Women’s Club wouldn’t be all that bad.

21.  A student said a customer once brought a photo of Cindy Crawford to a hair stylist and said she wanted to look like the photo.

CONSTRUCTION OF THE MONOLOGUES

Note that the events described above did not happen in the sequence listed.  They happened in random order, but I’ve listed the set-ups in the order that matches the lines in the monologue.  As the two-day class happened, I jotted notes on observations that I thought had the potential for developing a humor lines.  Many of the observations I wrote down, I didn’t use.  After collecting a number of observations, on a separate sheet of paper I began to write the humor lines for the monologue.  The final step was to put the lines in the best sequence for opening and closing.  I’ll make comments, line by line, as the monologue unfolds below.

**FIRST MONOLOGUE**

Sit back…and be amazed.
(This turned out to be a perfect opening line.  It’s funny because it implies that I think the lines will be amazing when, in fact, they are untested, and the audience doesn’t even know who I am.  In fact, based on my quiet personality, many of them are thinking: “I’m going to be amazed?  Yeah, right!)

I have some stuff to share with you.
(Simple line.  But simple lines can get good laughs.)

81% think they’re in the top half of all speakers.
Mathematically 38% of them have to be wrong.
(Just a fun statement of the obvious.)

That’s why Fripp is producing a new Reality TV show:
So You Think You Can Speak.
(Reference to current events and cultural happenings are fresh candidates to drop into an Observational Humor monologue.)

Just what we need…another game show with a British host.
(This was not in my pre-planned monologue.  It came to me as I was delivering the lines and I decided to throw it in.  Fripp is originally from the UK.  It got a really big laugh.)

One of the questions I am frequently asked is how I became a humorist.
(Set-up for the joke)

It was an ordinary day…30 years ago…when I fell off a boat and lost my sense of humor.
(Punchline)

Subsequently I became one of the funniest persons from North Dakota.
(Topper.  A second joke on riding on the wave of the original joke theme.)

And I still am.
(Topper.  This sequence closely followed the exact wording structure of the student’s brief description of his life.)

I’ll have to tell my friends that I attended a conference with Winton Churchill. 

I’m sure they’ll say “Winston Churchill?”

I’ll have to tell them that it’s WINTON.  His parents had a sense of humor. 

They said, “Let’s take WINSTON and delete one letter.”
(As part of the set-up for what follows, I chose to make it crystal-clear that ONE LETTER had been deleted from his first name.  I didn’t want to assume they would immediately figure that out.)

If his last name was Lincoln…he’d be ABAHAM Lincoln.
If his last name was Roosevelt…he’d be FANKLIN Roosevelt.

Last month I was speaking to a group of doctors.  I showed them a slide of my dog.  One of the doctors said:  “Oh look…a moose!”
(A very big laugh.  Comic license.  I don’t have a dog.)

All the other doctors laughed and pointed at him.
(Topper)

Sam:  What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
(Joke.  Good laugh.)

But when you live here…that’s not good.
(Topper.  Stating his name (Sam) first was necessary to set-up the context of the joke series.)

What’s the difference between arrogance and apathy?  Ask me in the ladies room.
(Occasionally a good technique for creating a funny line is to use a set-up and punchline from two different jokes.  They’re expecting a stale punchline…and they get one…from another old joke.)

**SECOND MONOLOGUE**

I gave a speech last week.  A guy came up after it was over.
“I want to buy you for my wife for her birthday.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Take my wife…please…today.”
“Why did you pick me.”
“Because you’re a teeny, teeny, teeny, teeny bit better.”
“Well tell me this…
Would your wife rather put her hand on my stomach or have me put my hand on her stomach?”
(This is an interesting example of four separate and totally unrelated observations being pulled together for a joke theme, resulting in a joke with three toppers.)

I’ve come up with a new title for my Keynote Speech:
Everything I know about humor I learned by working with nuclear weapons.
Or the sub-title: 
Everything I know about humor I learned by bombing.
(Joke using metaphor followed by a topper.)

And this morning I realized that being a flight attendant is like knowing that you’re considered pretty…by your mother…and Dan.
(Humor created by using the expected pattern and adding on the unexpected twist at the end.  They think the joke is over when they hear “by your mother.”)

It was not announced, but I am also presenting at the upcoming convention following Stephanie’s program.  The title of my program is:  The Four Road Blocks to Humor
      Self-Consciousness
      Hesitation
      Ignorance
      Timidity
S.H.I.T.
(The fact that another speaker used C.R.A.P. and got good laughs gave me permission and made it feel safe to use S.H.I.T.  And it got a very big laugh.  I had guessed that I would have to spell the word to get the laugh and I was correct.  There was no response until I spelled it out.  I chose not to actually SAY the word.  Just spelling it was perfect.)

And like Stephanie, I too have a dream of one day being in the Short Women’s Club. 

In fact, the last time I went for a haircut I showed my barber a photo of Cindy Crawford.
(End of monologue.  All lines in both monologues received excellent response.)

Here’s a quick tour of how humor was blended into a web site. It will focus on the humor highlights without having to wade through the entire site. And you’ll be provided with insights into the thoughts behind the humor. The site is www.HumorPower.com.

The first observation is that humor on a web site should fit the personality of the business or the person featured on the web site. A person with a laid-back personality and humor style should probably not have a web site written by a slapstick, pie-in-the-face comedy writer. The site should reflect your style and approach to life.

As an easy-going Norwegian kid from North Dakota, my style is to use understated humor. I have a dry, dead-pan delivery. It works for me. Therefore you’ll find the same subtle style of humor on my web site. An in-your-face humor style would be a mis-match. First visit the home page. There is the simple small caption under the head-shot photo. Not Actual Size. It’s so small and subtle that it probably goes unnoticed by some readers. But it represents my style and had gotten many positive comments from viewers. I would avoid using humor ideas you “borrow” from other people’s site and advertisements. I’ve always liked the use of baby pictures for a professional head-shot. It plays on the fact that people’s photos usually look younger than they do in person. But as much as I like the idea of the much-younger photo, I don’t use it because other people are already using the idea. For greater impact find your own unique twist.

Next, take a look at the bio page. It’s done in an interview format. This provides a good change-of-pace for the reader and the interview allows for weaving in several pieces of humor. The format permits you to easily give the necessary setup for each line. Notice the photo. It adds an element of humor by showing that the program is funny without really having to say it.

Here are some tips on capturing a photo where it looks like people are having fun. In my talks, I know exactly where the big-laugh points will come. If I’m having still photos or a video shot of my program, I create a roadmap of my talk, in writing, for the camera operator. I’ll show the photographer exactly when to expect the laughs, the exact words which will trigger the laughs, and I’ll recommend specifically where the photographer needs to be standing. Then as I approach that photo-opportunity laugh spot, I’ll make sure I’m positioned in the right spot for the photo to capture me AND the audience laughing. I also have to be alert to turning my head in the right direction so that the photo captures my profile and not the back of my head. A photo like this does not happen by accident. Also note that a good photo which captures excitement (let’s say you want a photo which shows patrons of your restaurant having a good time), comes as the result of taking MANY photos. Success comes in numbers. For people to look expressive in a photo, to look like they’re having fun…they have to be having a LOT of fun. Moderate laughter on a still photo looks like NO laughter. It’s a challenge to capture the emotion on film.

Continuing on the bio page, let’s look at the content. Typical of my humor writing style, I use the technique of “book-ending” the content of the page with humor. I both open and close with humor. There is a humorous answer to the first two questions and again for the last question. And there is a small amount of humor sprinkled in the body of the bio. I didn’t want a standup comedy routine because I wanted it to present relevant content in a credible way.

A good way to add humor to a web site is by featuring audio or video clips. I’ve included three sound clips to let my audiences show that my programs are funny. Program clips and Magic clip. 

Considerations for better audio/video clips are: Record in digital. Mic yourself. Mic the audience. I don’t normally mic the audience, but that’s the best way to capture the excitement.

It’s always better having a third party saying something good about you and your business than having to say it yourself. In addition to clips from live programs I also use testimonial quotes. You’ll find a half-dozen places where my past clients do the job of saying that I’m funny.

Here’s a great tip for collecting great testimonials. After a talk, people will likely tell you that they really enjoyed your presentation. You need to get those comments in writing. The problem is that even though they’d be happy to send you a testimonial letter, the average person just won’t get around to it. Here are two techniques you can use. Carry a digital voice recorder and capture the comments on the spot, along with their name. Another technique is to get their business card and write them a note afterward. In your note say, “I appreciated your taking the time to talk to me after the program. I especially appreciated your saying ‘That’s the funniest program we’ve ever had!’ May I quote you?” In my experience, they have always said YES. It’s a wonderful technique for collecting perfect testimonials.

On the Ezine signup page, I wanted to included the standard “we will never share your email address” statement, but notice the small humor twist.

The most off-the-wall humor on the site is found on the Las Vegas Tips page. Those photos happened by accident. I went to a local photography studio for some new headshots. During the session, I noticed some Las Vegas style props and costume pieces. A bright-idea light bulb clicked on. “I think I could use an Elvis shot and one as a Showgirl.”

The pictures came out great…the big question was where on the site would I use them. I made the conservative choice to put them on the Las Vegas Tips page. I was afraid that featuring them in my core marketing message would have been too much and could have been mis-understood. I didn’t want anyone to get the impression that I present my programs in a Las Vegas showgirl’s outfit!

When placing humor on your site you need to make sure you aren’t too cute for your own good. Avoid shooting yourself in the foot trying to be funny. That was a quick tour of a web site with just a sprinkling of humor.

Remember that when using humor, the concept of “less is more” almost always applies. Use what you feel is the highest quality of humor that compliments your personal style, and use it strategically. Over a period of time, as you upgrade your site you’ll sharpen the quality of your humor. It’s no easy task. But it’s worth the effort.

This case study presents observational humor delivered after an NSA chapter meeting.  Here is the background information on what happened during the meeting before the observational humor was presented:

THE SET UP

1.  It was monthly meeting with guest speaker and branding expert Dick Bruso.  He presented an awesome program and I highly recommend his services.

2.  Anita Johnston, chapter Membership VP, showed up early to help with room setup.  Also helping were her husband and four other men.

3.  Dick Bruso’s style is very pleasant, relaxed and friendly.  The whole day was focused on Branding.

4.  Dick shared with us that he was the oldest of eight children.

5.  He mentioned a client who had developed a successful business after surviving a fall into an 80 foot crevasse.

6.  Patricia Fripp mentioned that she knew someone who had been affected by the Charles Manson murders but didn’t think the story was a good one to support a speech on customer service.

7.  In brainstorming someone’s brand someone used the term “drop dead.”

8.  Dick used an early Volkswagen commercial’s slogan “Think Small” as an illustration of good branding.

9.  Dick used two great branding ideas where books were packaged in milk cartons and cereal boxes.

10.  It was mentioned that I was a retired USAF officer.

11.  Dick cited a successful branding campaign using the slogan “Chef C and the Dancing Mangos.”

12. Dick quoted Mother Theresa:  “Most pitiful is the person who has sight, but no vision.”

THE MONOLOGUE

This is a friendly group.  Setting up the room before the meeting started was Anita, her husband and four other men.  Anita was at the back of the room and shouted across the room to her husband, “Oh Honey!”  And every man in the room stopped what they were doing and looked up.
(What triggered this joke in my mind was that when Anita said “Oh Honey” nearly every man in the room froze and looked up.  Sometimes good observational humor comes from just reporting the facts.  When revisited and given focus, it becomes funny.)

As I watched the program today I couldn’t help but thinking I was watching the Mr Rogers of Branding…who grew up with the Brady Bunch.
(Dick has the Mr Rogers look, straight looking, conservative, good looking.  I could picture him in a sweater.  He mentioned coming from a large family several times, making it a good setup for the Brady Bunch.)

It was a great program.  I have some plans to improve my business.
(Here I’m using a LIST.  This is a good technique for creating and delivering humor.  Not unlike a Top-Ten list, it’s a list of supposed steps I’ll take as a result of the program presented.)

By the end of this month, I’ll take a trip to Red Rock Canyon…and fall into an 80 crevasse.
(Red Rock Canyon is a local scenic spot.  If I couldn’t think of a place locally, I’d I would have used the Grand Canyon.)

And then I’ll develop some drop-dead motivational humor about the Charles Manson murders.
(This line could be on the edge of bad taste depending on how it was brought up during the meeting.  I thought my line was absurd enough to make it safe.  Absurdity is usually safe.  It got a good laugh.)

And I’ll make sure people know that if they’re looking for a professional speaker…think tall.
(I was playing with rhyming, sound-alike words.)

I’m planning on mailing an egg carton to prospects.  It’ll contain my new book, A Dozen Egg Jokes.
(I wanted a joke which tied into food-container packaging.  And I linked Yokes with Jokes.  Silly, but it worked.)

And I’ll be known as Colonel K and the Prancing Papayas.
(Again, a silly line.  But a good laugh.)

I’ll close with a quote from Mother Theresa:  “Most pitiful is the person who has jokes and no timing.”  So I think I’ll sit down.
(I wrote severeal Mother Theresa spin-off lines, and chose to use only this one.  I could have chosen to make a list of lines, but felt that this was the strongest and most relevant line.  Less is more.)

Copyright 2007 by John Kinde

Observational Humor Case Study #6

Here is a short segment of observational humor I used at the end of a Toastmasters meeting last week.

THE SETUP (things that happened during the meeting)

1.  Bill gave a speech in which he talked about the time he spent in the military.  He got a laugh when he said that the military gave him “a career and a wife.”

2.  In Bill’s speech he said that one of his life’s goals was to be “rich, famous, and a couch potato.”  He got a good laugh.

3.  Bill also talked about growing up and said that he is “still growing up.”  Another good laugh.

4.  Frank was introduced as a speaker.  When his introducer shook his hand and started to cross in front of him (a definite mistake in Toastmasters), Frank didn’t release his hand and practically dragged the introducer behind him.  Frank is a big guy.)

5.  I was one of the speech evaluators.  When my oral evaluation was complete, I forgot to stay at the front of the room to wait for the Master Evaluator to shake my hand.  Instead, I immediately headed down the side aisle.  The master evaluator chased after me to shake my hand.  The two of us are the most senior Toastmasters in the club (forty-plus and thirty-plus years in Toastmasters).

6.  During the Observational Humor segment of the meeting.  Frank noted that Steve was wearing shorts and had legs with no sun tan.  Frank said, “And I used to think that I had white legs.  Now I know that I’m not as brilliant as I thought I was.”  A good laugh.

7.  Pam delivered a manuscript speech on “how to give an evaluation.”  The manuscript was prepared by TM International and the text was provided in the speech manual.  Her challenge was to deliver a scripted-speech well.

8.  Our club membership has been growing.  We had several women attending this meeting.  Six months ago Vicki was normally the only woman present at our meetings.

THE MONOLOGUE

I found it interesting that Bill’s time in the military gave him a career and a wife.  The military also gave me a career.  But I was home sick the day they issued wives.  (Uses the principle “what if…”   We expect that he found his wife the normal way, but what if the military had in fact given him the wife?)

I too had a goal of being rich, famous, and a couch potato.
Well…one out of three isn’t bad.  (Uses the principle of “something funny.”  Bill got a laugh using the rule-of-three, with the punchline couch potato.  I piggybacked on his getting a laugh by using the principle of a call-back, recalling a previous funny line and adding a topper to it.  I’m also using the principle of self-deprecation, poking fun at myself.  And I’m using the unexpected twist, proud of the fact that I achieved the thing one would NOT want to achieve.  Lots of things make this simple line funny.)

And Bill talked about growing up and that in fact he “is still growing up.”  The same is true of my life.  Everyday, someone says to me, “Oh, will you grow up?”  (The principle is self-deprecation, implying that I frequently get caught acting childish.)

In Toastmasters we learn that when we introduce a speaker, after we shake hands we should not pass IN FRONT of the speaker.  Just trying passing in front of Frank after you introduce him and he’ll grab your hand and drag you behind him!  (The humor principle here is noting something funny that everyone saw, but which wasn’t especially funny until someone focused everyone’s attention on it.)

We also learn that when you’re done speaking, never leave the speaking area unattended until you are met by the person in charge of the next part of the meeting.  You may have noticed that after I presented my evaluation, I forgot to wait for the Master Evaluator to shake my hand.  And Bill ran after me.  Seventy-seven years of Toastmasters experience running down the aisle…for the purpose of giving you a dramatic visual reminder of the proper way to conduct a meeting.  (Again, pointing out something funny that was funnier after the group relived the experience.  Also, it implies that we did it on purpose for the sake of group learning, which of course was not our real intent.  This activates the relationship of real intent/pretend intent.)

I always thought that my web site was great.  Until I saw Steve’s web site.  Then I realized that mine was not so brilliant.  (This was the only line that didn’t get a good laugh.  Maybe I should have set it up better referring back to the previous “white legs” joke to set the scene for where I was going.  The set-up line, someone else’s observational humor comment, happened shortly before I did my observational humor, but if the audience didn’t connect my line with the first joke, then my spin on that joke would not be very funny.  Notice that in most of the previous lines I structured them with a small lead in/set up to “set the scene” and make my observation funny.  In most cases this is an important thing to do.  Then again the “brilliant” joke might have been funny to only me and may not have been funny to the audience no matter how I presented it.)

I loved Pam’s manuscript speech where she read a text prepared by Toastmasters International on how to give a good evaluation.  I’d like to focus my critical comments solely on the content and structure of her talk.  (This was actually an opening observational line I used in the formal oral evaluation of Pam’s talk, and not a line in my monologue.  It got a very good laugh.  It plays with the principle of absurdity, since my evaluation should, and did, focus on Pam’s delivery techniques for a manuscript speech and not on the content over which she had no control.)

Attendance at our meetings has been growing.  Our club used to be known as “Vicki and the guys.”  I arrived a little late this evening, and as I walked into the back of the room I noticed that we had several women in the group.  And I thought, “maybe they’re issuing wives tonight!”  (This uses the principles of the call-back and book-ending.  When possible I like to tie the opening and closing lines together, in this case using the “issue wives” lines.  If you can close a monologue or speech with a reference to something you said in the opening, it will normally be very effective.)

NOTE:  I had two lines that I did not use for the monologue.  I thought they had humor potential, but I couldn’t find a wording that I was happy with, so I left them out.  Whenever you’re doing observational humor, avoid the temptation to use everything you come up with.  Select your best material and go with those lines.  Your final product will be so much stronger.

Here is another case study of an observational humor monologue presented at our Toastmasters Meeting last night.  Observational humor is a formal part of our meeting where everyone in the room can share their humorous observations from the meeting.  It’s led by the Observational Humor Master who wraps up that part of the meeting with a monologue:

Things that happened during the meeting (the setup):

1.  Our Toastmasters club has experienced a lot of growth recently.  We had 25 people in the room instead of the usual dozen.

2.  Bryant gave a glowing report on how we were exceeding our membership goals to achieve distinguished club status.

3.  Our Area Governor, Brandi, was attending the meeting.

4.  During our guest introductions, Randy introduced his wife, “This is my wife Susan, and she isn’t anybody’s girlfriend.” This was a callback to a joke at an earlier meeting where I had said that club President S Frank’s wife was my girlfriend. Randy got a laugh by weaving this into his introduction comments.

5.  One of the other clubs in town that someone mentioned during the meeting is called the “I’ll Drink To That Toastmasters Club.”

6.  The acoustics in the room are not good.  It’s a challenge to project so that the members in the back of the room can hear you.

7.  It was mentioned that it was hard to hear almost all the speakers except for S Frank and Steve who always loud enough to be heard from the back of the room.

8.  Brandy, in her impromptu table topic speech, had a role-play conversation with another person, saying: “I’m not looking for brains, but something more than a rock would be nice.”

9.  Gretchen gave an ice-breaker speech introducing herself to the club.  She mentioned the population size of a small town she was from, saying that it was so small they counted the cows.

10.  In Gretchen’s speech she talked about her French Background.

11.  In Mario’s speech he talked about his Spanish background.

12.  In Steve’s speech he talked about jumping so high, when he was younger, that could almost hit his head on the rim of the basketball hoop.  He mentioned that he once lost his two front teeth when they got caught in the net.

13.  Pam mentioned that it appeared that I had a puzzled look on my face.

14.  Ron was the last one to make his humorous observations before I presented my monologue.  His joke was a funny but very long story.

Here’s the monologue:

Opening remark:  Before I start my comments, I’ll call on Steve to evaluate Ron’s speech.

A.  What a great crowd tonight!  Bryant has been so excited about our growth in membership.  Now he can fill in the Distinguished Club Report without having to count the cows. 

B.  This is a great club.  We may not have the name of “I’ll Drink to That,” but we have the Brandy.  This is Brandi’s favorite club…she’s not looking for a lot of brains.

C.  As you’ve noticed, the acoustics are bad in this room.  Which is a good thing, considering the quality of most of my jokes.

D.  I was sitting in the back row.  During most of the speeches, people in the back were saying, “Huh?”  When S Frank and Steve finished their speeches, the people in the back row removed their ear plugs.

E.  I was amazed at how much I had in common with our speakers tonight.  Like Mario, I speech some Spanish.  Like Gretchen, I speak some French.  Like Steve, I’ve played some basketball.

F.  In fact we were playing one-on-one two weeks ago.  I jumped so high I hit my head on the bottom of Steve’s shoe.

G.  Pam mentioned that I had a puzzled look on my face.  I was delighted that I had SOME look on my face.  (I tend to have a non-expressive face).

H.  Before I close my remarks tonight, I’d like for you to know that I have the most wonderful boyfriend.  Randy would you please stand up.

Notes on the monologue:

a.  I turned on my humor radar during the meeting.  I usually bring a clipboard for taking notes and also to use during the presentation of the monologue.  By taking notes, it helps me to focus on my task of seeing the humor and writing the monologue by the end of the meeting.

b.  I don’t include all of my observations in the monologue.  I select what I feel are the best lines.  I noted six observations which I did not include in the final script.  You’re almost always better off using only the best lines and not forcing all your observations on the audience.

c.  Self-deprecation works well.  That was part of the trigger element in items B, C, F, G.  Those are jokes that poke fun at either me or our club.

d.  The girlfriend/boyfriend has been a running gag since S Frank introduced “his wonderful, beautiful, fabulous wife.”  And in my observational humor, a year ago, I introduced “my wonderful, beautiful, fabulous girlfriend.  Would Lynnea please stand up.”  Last night, Randy went along with the gag and stood and waved to the group.

e.  I thought of using the line “I jumped so high that I lost my front teeth in Steve’s shoe laces.”  But decided that that the direction I chose was cleaner, more direct, and therefore funnier. 

f.  Look at the connections that made the jokes work:
     Joke     Connections
     A         1 and 2
     B         3 and 5
     D         6 and 7
     E         Used the rule-of-three to include all the speakers AND set up the basketball joke
     G         Puzzled Look connected to my reputation as being rather poker faced
     H         The running gag from a previous meeting

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