Humor Power

What do you do if your joke bombs?  If your mind goes blank?  If the fire alarm sounds during your speech?  If you suddenly hear the band playing in the next room?  Some situations are ideal for the perfect humorous quip.  Other situations may depend on your saying the right thing to ensure the safety of those in the room.  The key to doing or saying the right thing depends on your being prepared for the unexpected and your ability to be present and able to think on-your-feet. 

For example if your joke bombs, you could borrow a line from Johnny Carson:  “That’s the last time I’ll borrow a joke from Doc.”  He’d sometimes blame the bad joke on his band leader.  Perhaps you could poke fun at a friend in the audience.

If your mind goes blank:  “And now it’s time for a few words on short-term memory loss.”

If the fire alarm sounds:  Be prepared and be calm in order to provide leadership when it’s needed.  Before your talk, always check out the available exits from the meeting room.  Are the back hallways and stairs cleared and unlocked?  I always check.

The band starts playing on the other side of the sliding wall of your meeting room:  “At great expense, we’ve arranged for live music to accompany my talk.”

The key is to think of all the things that could go wrong during your speech and then think of two or three ways you could respond to each situation.  Prepare to be spontaneous.  You’ll be the hero.

As I was listening to Brad Montgomery’s Got Mirth audio program and it reminded me of a great book I hadn’t looked at in a long time:  What to Say When…You’re Dying on the Platform, by Lilly Walters.  Although the book is 12 years old, the information is as timely as if it were written today.  Good news, it was still on my bookshelf (when I moved to Las Vegas I gave away about half my library but I kept Lilly’s book).  And browsing through it reminded me that I was quoted in the book four times.  It’s an item that belongs on YOUR bookshelf.  Brad’s audio program also has a section on this subject.  I recommend you check out both resources.

One of my favorite sayings is that great speaking skills give you the illusion of competence.  The flip side:  Poor speaking skills give you the illusion of incompetence!  If your presentation skills are weak, you will probably appear less than competent even if you happen to be a master of the subject matter.

I received Rick Carruth’s Magic Roadshow Newsletter, January 2007 issue, with an article that drives home the connection between confidence and competence.  Rick includes a link to magician Darren Brown’s video who is performing a psychic demonstration for a group of strangers.  Darren admits in the introduction to the video that he is NOT a psychic.  But if you’re not familiar with his techniques, you’d probably say “Wow…this guy really has some psychic talent!”  On the other hand, if you’re a seasoned magician, you may have read a couple of books on Cold Reading (the performing skills that make it possible to LOOK like you’re a psychic).  If that were the case, you would realize that some fairly simple techniques give the performer the confidence to perform in a  believable fashion.  This confident performance by the magician leads the audience to think that the performer IS a competent psychic.  Confidence creates the illusion of competence. 

You can check out Rick’s newsletter, paragraph one, for a short piece on the art of cold reading with some interesting links.  It’s a great newsletter if you’re a magician, or exploring the possibility of taking up the art of magic, or if you are simply a speaker who likes to be exposed to information which helps you to think outside-the-box.  Subscribe at www.MagicRoadshow.com.

When it comes to public speaking or delivering humor from the platform, since you’ve worked hard to become an expert on your subject matter, remember also the importance of sharpening your delivery skills.  Your platform speaking skills are the vehicle for delivering your message.  With the skills, polish and natural delivery (which does not happen naturally for most speakers), your message will ring true and your reputation will shine.  Taking the time to gain top-notch speaking skills is an investment that will pay off.

Here’s a link to a great post on Bert Decker’s blog, Top Ten (Best and Worst) Communicators of 2006.  You’ll enjoy and learn from the analysis of the good and bad examples from twenty speakers.

Bert is a communications expert of the highest level.  Check out his book, You’ve Got to Be Believed to Be Heard, one of the top presentation-skills books available anywhere.  Also visit Create Your Communications Experience, Bert Decker’s Blog.

Watching a variety of performance arts provides great inspiration for excellence in anything you might do.  It especially relates to excellence in public speaking.  Check out this choreographed juggling routine by Chris Bliss.  As a speaker and a humorist, sometimes I find it tempting to just “wing it” (be in the moment and go with the flow).  Many of us fall into that trap occasionally, out of convenience or habit. 

Although being spontaneous does have its positive side, the truth is that there is really no substitute for solid preparation.  As you watch Chris Bliss you can be sure that he isn’t just making it up as he goes.  Hundreds of hours (probably thousands) and many dropped balls went into preparation for this display of perfection.  What could you do differently, or better, if you had more preparation?  If you were totally prepared?  If you were over-prepared?  That would allow you to be truly in the moment and perform at your very best. 

Another juggler, Jason Garfield, repeated the Chris Bliss routine with five balls instead of three.  It was shot in a gym and the production quality is not great, but the skill level is clearly amazing.  Although it appears more difficult to use five balls instead of three, and the Wow-Factor is larger, the entertainment value isn’t necessarily higher.  The clean lines of thee balls makes the art stand out.  In many art forms the expression “less is more” does apply.  For example, in the world of magic the classic Chinese Linking Rings is traditionally performed with five or seven rings.  But there are some very powerful routines choreographed with just three rings and even two rings which by most measures are even more powerful performance pieces for an audience.  The simplicity and clean elements of a less complex performance often results in a higher quality entertainment value.

Lessons learned.  Excellence is achieved with preparation and not by accident.  And an artfully presented routine or speech can showcase simplicity (or something that gives the illusion of simplicity) with a level of excellence that makes it truly stand out.

We can be inspired by the excellence and creativity of others.  Whether we’re watching gymnastics, skating, the olympics, a dance or musical performance or some other form of sport or performance art, the high level of perfection can inspire us to lift our own performance to new levels.  Of special interest to me is how people combine the thinking from two or more fields to create something new and exceptional.

 Here’s a link to a really fun and interesting video featuring mime Jerome Murat.  I was pointed to the video by my good friend and conversation expert Loren Ekroth.  Although the opening of the video is in the French language, 95 percent of the video is mime (no spoken words).  What’s really interesting is how the artist combines the art of mime with the art of magic, puppetry and choreography.  Those of you who are magicians will recognize some standard magic techniques used to produce the amazing illusion you’ll see on the video.  Just when you think the video is over, keep watching.  It gets even more amazing.

Just as humor is normally a combination of two previously unrelated things; so too are many other forms of creativity.  Look for opportunities to combine elements from two or more areas in which you have expertise.  You never know what the result will be. 

You’ll enjoy the video!

Many speakers fall into the trap of thinking they don’t need a microphone.  “I’m a REAL speaker.  I don’t need a microphone.  I’ll just shout my speech!”   Don’t make that mistake.  The mike is your friend and allows you greater flexibility in your vocal variety.  This is especially important for speakers who are using humor.  Vocal variety adds spice to the humor and the audience needs to hear your punchlines.  A microphone helps you meet both needs.

1.  What size audience requires a microphone?  There is no magic number.  Sometimes you don’t need a mike for 75 people.  Sometimes you do need it for only 20 people.  It depends on the venue; the size of the room, the furniture, the drapes, the carpet, the height of the ceiling, the noise from the adjoining banquet in the room or the kitchen.  If you’re ever in a situation where you aren’t sure whether you need the mike or not, use it.  You’ll at least have it set up and can lay it aside if you decide you don’t need it.  If you don’t have it set up and you discover you do need it, it’s too late.

2.  Although wireless microphones usually work great, a corded mike is a safer choice.  Cheap wireless mikes have a poor quality sound.  And we’ve all heard interference over a wireless mike from an outside source, the DJ in the next room or a taxi dispatcher. I usually request a corded mike.  I also prefer a handheld mike over a lavaliere.  You have more flexibility in how you use your voice with a handheld mike.  When you speak softly or turn your head, the handheld mike gives you better sound because you can position it exactly where you need it.

3.  With a lavaliere microphone, attach it where nothing will rub on it, either clothing or jewelry.  Experiment with the perfect place to hook it up for optimum sound.  Wear clothing which will accommodate a clip-on power pack.  Be careful wearing a lavaliere mike when holding something close to the body or hugging someone.  It can create a megaphone effect and give you feedback.  Also, don’t wear it to the men’s room or ladies room while it’s turned on! 

4.  With a handheld microphone, practice speaking and holding a mike at the same time.  Learn to naturally transfer it from one hand to the other.  It normally looks best to grip the mike with the whole hand and not with just the fingers.  And for most mikes, hold it near the top of the mike and not at the bottom where the antenna is often located.  If a mike cuts in and out, you may be holding it too close to the bottom and blocking the signal.

5.  With either type of mike, learn where the on/off switch is.  If there is a power switch or a standby switch, find out how they work.  Know how to work the switches without looking at them or in the dark.  If there is a battery, start your talk with a new battery and have a spare one handy.  Know how to replace it.

6.  Do a live test of the mike before the program.  Have an assistant walk the room to check the volume setting.  Look for feedback spots.  These are usually under and in front of speakers.  Avoid these areas during your talk.

7.  Before you are introduced, watch the speakers who are on the program before you.  How well is their microphone projecting?  Is there something you could learn from their handling of the mike?

8.  When it’s time for you to take the platform:  You’ve already tested the mike.  Don’t tap on it.  Don’t blow into it.  Don’t say, “Is this thing on?”  Or, “Can you hear me?”  Just start talking.  If you’ve done your preparation right, it’ll be working just fine.  If not, you’ll know soon enough.  It’s a good idea to have a room monitor who can watch for things which aren’t just right and who knows how to fix the situation.

9.  When using a microphone, energize your voice.  That means to speak normally but with energy.  Don’t speak into the mike, speak past it.  Let the microphone overhear your conversation.  Speaking into the mike often causes your Ps to “pop” in the mike.

10.  If you get feedback during your talk, try reversing whatever physical action you were doing just before the feedback started.  For example if you were moving forward and then you started to get feedback…move backward.  The feedback will usually stop.  In addition to feedback caused by  a nearby speaker, you can also get interference if there is another live microphone in the room.  The unused mike should be turned off.

11.  If you are using a microphone which is in a fixed position, perhaps on a mike stand or attached to a lectern, imagine that you’re attached with a string between your nose and the mike.  If you’re going to look to the right while speaking, rather than turn your head to the right, you need to first move your body to the left since you’re tethered with an imaginary string to your microphone.  This gimmick keeps the microphone in front of you at all times.

12.  If you are using a microphone stand which needs to be adjusted for height, have someone adjust it for the proper level before you are introduced.  Practice adjusting the stand ahead of time, just in case you need to do it in front of the audience.  If you’re not careful, some stands can separate into two parts!  Once you start speaking, it’s a nice touch to remove the mike from the stand so you can walk around.  Place the stand behind you so it isn’t between you and the audience.  As you wrap up your talk, move the stand back in front of you, and replace the mike before you say your final words.  You’ll look like a pro.

13.  When using a mike fixed on a gooseneck attachment, if you’re going to move the mike, do it while you are speaking.  The sound of your voice will help cover any squeaking noise resulting from the gooseneck.

14.  If you belong to a Toastmasters club or give talks at your workplace where you can practice with a microphone…do it.  You want the sound system to become a natural part of you and that comes only with practice.

1.  Just do it.  Reading a book on improv without actually trying it out is like reading a book on golf and never stepping foot on a golf course.  You need to get involved by actually getting on the improv stage and performing with a troupe.  It won’t be easy.  In fact, your first time, you’ll probably feel like you’re the only person on stage who doesn’t have a clue what you’re doing.  That’s normal.  It’s challenging.  But it IS fun.  So, here are some ideas to get you started on your path to better skills and a great time.

2.  Buy a book.  Before you attend your first improv class, go to your local book store and buy something on improv.  Improv Comedy by Andy Goldberg is a good book to get you started.  See paragraph 10 for an extended reading list.  Now that you’ve bought a book…here’s the catch.  You have to read it.

3.  Look for a troupe.  Do an internet search for a local troupe.  Check the community calendar in your local paper.  Look at the course catalogue of your community colleges (don’t forget to check the continuing education, non-credit courses).  You might have a branch of a well-known improv group in your city:  TheatreSports, ComedySportz, Improv Olympic, Second City.  The telephone book white and yellow pages might be a resource.  Call your local theatre groups as they may know of local improv workshops.  Tell your friends you’re looking for an improv troupe. 

4.  How much will a class cost?  Normaly between $5 and $40 per class.  Sometimes more.  Sometimes free.  You’ll find that small privately organized troupes (like mine) might be $5 to $10 per session.  Groups sponsored by professional theatre groups might charge $25 - $40 per class.  The difference will often be the experience of the teacher.

5.  Can’t find a workshop?  Start your own.

6.  My story:  In October 1995, I had two coincidental phone calls within a week.  The first one was from a former student who attended a humor workshop I presented in the San Francisco bay area.  He told me of a special three-day improv weekend he was attending and wondered if I might be interested in attending one of the events.  I had never been to an improv show or workshop in my life.  I immediately said I’d drive up for the entire three-day weekend.  A second phone call came from a friend in my Toastmasters network.  He was a member of a troupe in Santa Barbara and invited me to attend their show on October 27.  I attended that show and the following week began weekly workshops with the Santa Barbara Improv, a 150-mile round trip from my home.  In January I enrolled in a twelve-week ComedySportz beginning and intermediate level workshop, also in Santa Barbara.  During that same month, I started my own troupe in Santa Maria. During January, February and March, I was doing improv three nights a week and driving 300 miles to do it.  Within four months I went from never seeing an improv performance to directing my own troupe.

7.  My first troupe, Santa Maria CA, was licensed as a Theatre Sports troupe and we had an average show attendance of 150 people.  Players from many other troupes came to play with us.  We competed in the California Statewide tournament and reached the semi-finals.  The exciting thing is that this process can be duplicated.  When I moved to Las Vegas, I started another troupe.  You can do the same thing.  Ideally, the best workshops are eight to twelve people, but you could get started with a faithful core of only four to six.  Here’s how I suggest you go about starting your own troupe:

8.  Lay a foundation.  Spend some time in planning your improv troupe experience.  You can actually teach your own workshop even if you’ve never had any improv experience.  I did.  Then, when I moved to Las Vegas I spent the first year spreading the word and collecting contact information from interested people.  By the time I kicked off our first workshop in January 2001, I had a list of forty people who had expressed an interest.  On our first night, 15 people showed up.  We grew to a high of 24 people and have since settled down to a solid core group of about 10.  We conduct weekly workshops and monthly shows.  My approach is non-profit.  We charge enough to pay for the room and other expenses of producing the shows.  We have a logo, banner, shirts, and a keyboard player.  More on that later.

9.  Your homework.  You’ll need to invest in an Improv library, maybe a dozen books for starters.  See paragraph 10 for some books to get you started.  Try to attend a workshop somewhere even if you have to fly to a special week-long event.  Watch for workshop postings in our Resources And Favorite Links.  Find an improv buddy to help you present your first workshop sessions.  Doing a weekly two-hour workshop isn’t difficult, but may seem challenging when you first start out. Your first session should be shaped around games where people get to know each other.  You’ll need an extensive list of games for your weekly workshops.  Also look for opportunities to do things as a group.  For example this week, our troupe will be attending a Blues performance at a local casino after our normal weekly workshop.  This is fun and builds a trusting ensemble that loves being together.

10.  Recommended books.

Improv Comedy by Andy Goldberg

Truth In Comedy by Halpern, Close and Johnson

Improvisation for the Theater by Viola Spolin

Comedy Improvisation by Delton Horn

Improvisation for Actors and Writers by Bill Lynn

Improve with Improv by Brie Jones

Impro by Keith Johnstone

Improv! by Greg Atkins

Acting Games by Marsh Cassady

Musical Improv Comedy by Michael Pollock

Acting on Impulse by Carol Hazenfield

The Ultimate Improv Book by Edward Nevraumont

Improvise by Mick Napier

11.  Improvised Music.  Immediately begin your search for a musical director.  Music is a key part of your performances. We’ve been blessed in Las Vegas with two terrific musicians and several great singers.  You need to spread the word thru your own network that you are looking for a keyboard player.

12.  Guest players.  This is a key to building a strong troupe.  In both Santa Maria and Las Vegas, I arranged for several outside, experienced players to join us for our first show.  We’ve also have had about two dozen special event workshops presented by visiting, seasoned improv teachers from Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego.  One of the big advantages of getting the TheatreSports license for our California troupe was to get connected to other troupes for the purpose of guest players and workshops.  I moved to Las Vegas with that network intact and ready to tap into.

13.  Time to get started.  Buy a book.  Find a troupe.  Or start your own.  Improv is the most challenging and most rewarding thing I’ve done in the area of performing arts and presentation skills.  I highly recommend it to you.

Related Articles:

Business and Personal Benefits of Improv

Public Speaking Benefits of Improv

Improv training will give you more presence on the platform.  It will connect you with your listeners and make your presentations memorable.  In the area of pubic speaking, it’s one of the most valuable skill-building resources available to you.

1.  Connect With Your Audience.  In 1995 I attended my first improv class.  My improv experience has given me many skills to improve my speaking, of which the most valuable has been improving my presence on the platform.  Improv training teaches you to be in the present moment and not to simply be in your notes or in your speech.  You learn to listen without premeditation as to where and how things should be going.  You learn that listening includes eye contact.  That skill turns out to be at the very core of audience connection.  Improv tunes you into the body language of others and improves your connection with others by matching and mirroring.  By internalizing these skills you involve, energize and connect with your audience.

2.  Improve Your Physical Delivery.  Improv skills are ideal for preparing your body for a performance.  I’ve used improv warm up games before early-morning keynotes to energize myself before taking the platform.  Improv training also builds your confidence by reducing your self consciousness.  You learn to let your hair down and have fun.  Your delivery has more confidence because you understand more about movement.  The essence of confidence and status is not who you ARE, it’s what you DO.  It’s how you move and act.  It’s how you use space.  These skills are learned and developed in an improv workshop.

3.  Make Your Talks Memorable.  When audience members are having fun, they remember what they have learned.  Improv teaches you to be a better story teller.  Stories help you show rather than just tell.  Stories build emotional connection.  Emotions lead to associations which lead to memories.  Improv teaches you to become a student of life.  You watch others.  You learn to read the body language of others.  You become better at bringing stories to life by understanding characters, relationships and objectives.  The result of your improv training is that you are able to present engaging programs that stick in the minds of your listeners.

Watch for the next article:  Business and Personal Benefits of Improv

Making others laugh is more than just the right words.  It’s not just what you say.  It’s also HOW you say it and what you DO while you’re saying it.  As a speaker, performer, humorist or comedian you become a delivery vehicle for your humor. 

And what you DO while you are speaking extends far beyond the gestures you use to drive home the funny lines.  What you DO includes all the subtle movements that define your being. The posture that tells people who you are.  Not only that, bad posture and movement, over time, wears on you like rain and wind on the face of a cliff.  How you use your body affects your emotions and your physical well being.  As a humorous speaker your body that communicate either a person filled with stiffness and tension or a someone with a natural and relaxed presence. Your posture and movement either enhances your humor or it blocks it.

The future of speaking lies in a natural connected delivery.  A speaker or entertainer who switches into “speaker mode” at the start of a talk is performing in the style of the past.  Natural delivery is the future. And to achieve natural delivery is NOT natural.  Unfortunately we’re carrying a load of bad habits.  We don’t do what is natural.  We do what is habitual. 

We need to unlearn the old and set ways of behaving to make room for more natural posture and movement.  That’s part of what the Alexander Technique is about. 

An excellent overview of the Alexander Technique is provided in Body Learning by Michael Gelb.  The book is very enlightening and highly recommended.  One of the examples in the book is about learning to juggle.  To unlearn bad habits, we need to learn to let go of the startle response.  It creates a posture caused by tension.  If you juggle while tense (anticipating that you’re going to drop a ball) you are more likely to drop a ball because of the bad use of your body.  But if you can relax and know that dropping a ball is normal and natural, your new use of body will make it more likely that you will NOT drop a ball.  It’s much better explained in the book.  You need to get it.

The parallel with speaking is that our old posture is often shaped by the stress and tension of our life.  When we speak to make an audience laugh, we may have internalized a fear of rejection which holds us back from a relaxed speaking position.  An Alexander coach guides us to relearn how to move, how to stand, how to sit.  A forty-five minute private lesson is an amazing experience.  The feeling of being totally free and relaxed in your movement is an energizing experience. 

A typical lesson with my Alexander teacher included a study of my posture while lying down.  We would also practice sitting, standing, and sitting again.  I would be coached in my standing posture, my head and neck position.  With a light touch he would move my shoulders, my head, my chest.  I would practice walking and get feedback on my stride and arm swing.  This description of a class is in the most simple of terms.  The complexities and subtleties of coaching someone could only be properly explained by a certified teacher.  It’s a terrific experience.  Highly recommended.  It will move you to a new level of poise and professionalism.

Who studies the Alexander Technique?  Speakers, comedians, actors, musicians.  In fact, anyone interested in significantly improving their appearance and poise would benefit greatly.  Leaders in the business world, teachers, sales people and other professionals.  Many actors have had extensive Alexander Technique training (Patrick Stewart and Robin Williams being two of them).  When you’re at a concert, watch the first violinist take his or her chair.  It will probably be done with great poise and confidence.  The chances are good that you’re watching a professional musician who has studied the Alexander Technique.

How would you find more information on the Alexander Technique?  Start by getting the book, Body Learning by Michael Gelb.  Next, find a local Alexander Technique teacher.  Call your a local theatre group, the Drama Department of your local college or high school.  Ask if they know of someone locally who is a certified Alexander Technique teacher.  Or search for an Alexander Teacher online.  Maybe you would enjoy attending an inspiring Alexander Workshop in Malibu, California,  December 27, 2006 - January 1, 2007.  If you take action to add the Alexander experience to your life, it will set you ahead of your peers.  They won’t be doing it.

Whether  you’re presenting a humorous talk or a serious talk, you’ll receive audience feedback.  However when delivering a humorous talk the feedback is more blunt.  If you’re giving a motivational speech, you might fool yourself into thinking that people, who sit silently looking at you, are motivated…even if they’re not.  But if your speech is supposed to be funny…and they’re silently looking at you…Houston, we have a problem.  They’re supposed to be laughing. The feedback is obvious.  It’s not that giving a good serious speech is easier.  It’s not.  It’s just that the feedback in the serious or motivational-type talk is often disguised and open to mis-interpretation.

I think, by nature, we humans are not well adapted to feedback.  The natural tendency is to flinch in the face of feedback.  In our daily lives, in our personal relationships, in nearly everything we do, when we receive feedback (dare we call it criticism) we almost automatically become defensive.  It’s no different when we’re on the speaking platform.

As an Ezine writer I receive my own special feedback from readers.  Here are some of the comments I’ve received in recent months in response to my newsletter, blog postings and articles.

1.  I believe your humor tip needed a bit more reality attached to it.

2.  I’m not sure you can go after making someone laugh in such a strategic way.

3.  The newsletter seems more like self-aggrandizement than humor tips.

4.  You’re not funny.

These were comments from four different people.  Each comment could have been received as criticism.  As constructive advice.  As an ignorant opinion.  As a comment from someone having a bad day.  As valuable insight and a gift.

Here’s my take on feedback.  I didn’t flinch the slightest bit or feel badly about any of the comments.  It’s not that I never flinch.  Occasionally, with the right comment, I will.  But I think that 33 years of speaker feedback and contest participation in Toastmasters have conditioned me to receive most feedback in a positive way.

I’ve come to believe that everyone is coming from a good place, trying to do the right thing.  And their truth is based on their reality…as is mine.  Neither of us own the truth.  And their opinion is just as valuable as mine.  Probably more so.  My truth is stuck in my own rut.  Another person’s truth opens the door to fresh thinking and the possibility of growth.  And if not, I can let it go and move on.

The first remark was accompanied by several suggestions to support his comment.  Well written, brilliant ideas.  Right on target.  There’s always another way of looking at any issue.

The second comment was exactly correct.  Getting someone to laugh is not science.  It’s art.  It’s hit and miss…trial and error.  Like learning to hit a golf ball, what we need is internalized skills.  The process of studying the golf swing, while probably necessary, is sometimes a confusion factor when it comes to actually swinging the club.  And so it is with building humor skills.  Each tip is food for growth, points you in the right direction, but is not a magic bullet for instant results.

The third comment.  Self-aggrandizement.  That had never occurred to me.  Someone’s perception is their truth.  Valuable feedback.  Sometimes we receive a dozen positive comments, but isn’t it the one negative remark that burns in our mind.  Get over it.  Choose to grow.  Actually I receive very little feedback on either the Ezine or the Blog.  I’m pleased that the positive comments always exceed the negative ones about ten to one.  And every month for each person who cancels their subscription, ninety-nine don’t.  Yet at the same time I realize that it’s the person with the so-called negative remark who is often doing me a favor.

The fourth comment.  You’re not funny.   Well, I don’t normally try very hard to impress my readers as being funny.  In fact, my writing is probably more dry than it should be.  So he’s probably more right than wrong.  I’m not a humor writer…catch me on the platform.  And even then, my humor might not be your style.  And that’s ok.  Most of my audience likes me.  But all of them never will.

A recent feedback experience was my participation in the Toastmasters division level speech contest.  I was considered by some to be the favorite to win, having won 13 division contests in the past.  I took third place.

I drew speaking position number one.  Not the best slot.  In the opening of my talk I knocked over my easel holding my one visual aid.  And to top it off, the winner had a much better written and delivered speech!  Ah, the frustrations of competition.

Bottom line:  The contest cycle this spring was a terrific learning experience.  I had the opportunity to get feedback on three different speeches (I chose not to repeat the same speech at each level).  I had fun.  Glad I competed.  And now the pressure is off until next year.

So start to condition yourself to accepting feedback.  Learn to solicit feedback.  Make it a habit to thrive on feedback.  Whenever everyone is piling on the praise, keep your radar tuned for that one “negative” comment.  It may be just what you need to move to the next level.