It’s common these days to see a corporation’s name on a facility as trade for a financial contribution.  It’s a form of advertising.  For example: 
Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego
Cox Pavilion in Las Vegas
Staples Center in Los Angeles

What if Tinker Stadium in Orlando picked up a new sponsor and became Tinker Toy Stadium?

What if the federal government decided to balance the national budget by finding sponsors for buildings in Washington DC?  You could visit The White Castle House.  And while you were there you could tour The Ovaltine Office, The Lincoln Log Bedroom and the Bose Garden.

What kind of corporate sponsorships can you come up with?  Switch on your imagination. 

Collect your best lines and submit them to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by May 30, 2008.

New joke contests are announced on the 15th of the month.

New cartoon caption contests are announced on the first of the month.

Here are the top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

A cricket team with a vitamin C deficiency — The Rickety Crickets
     Martyn Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois, USA

** SECOND PLACE **

A team of spendthrifts who like to max out their credit cards — The Sans Dinero Chargers
     Takeshi Young, San Jose, California, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

Texan hot air balloon racers — The Ballast Cowboys
     Abel Goddard, Cedar Hill, Texas, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

- A team of cooks from Kansas — The Kansas City Chefs
- A team of sluggards from Wisconsin — The Green Bay Slackers
- A team of forest navigators — The Oak Land Radars
- A team who uses second-hand uniforms — The Old Jersey Nets
- A team of barbers from LA — The Los Angeles Clippers
- A racecar team of drug junkies — The Speed Racers
- A basketball team of stock market investors — The Chicago Bulls and Bears
- A fishing team of geometricians — The Right Anglers
- An olympic team of Polish athletes — The Pole Vaulters
- A skating team who lives dangerously — The Thin Ice Skaters
- An olympic team of small golfers — The Short Putters
- An equistrian team of underwear models — The Jockeys
- A body building team of lewd and vulgar musclemen — The Bawdy Builders
- A boardgame team of oriental inspectors — The Chinese Checkers
- A darts team of star wars fans — the Dart Vaders
- A Czechoslovakian basketball team for fraud artists — The Czech Bouncers
- The Bear-Stearns Downhill Racers
- A baseball team of Ohio communists — The Cincinnati Reds
- A debating team of entomologists — The Tick Talkers
- A bowling team of fast, accurate bowlers –  The Lightning Strikes
- A football team for East Coast comedians — The New York Jests
- A baseball team of landscapers — The Houston Astro-turfs
- A baseball team for oil well owners — The San Antonio Spurts
- A football team for crazy people — The Baltimore Raven-Maniacs
- A Bicycle club for old maids — The Spinsters
- Hang Gliding for Pedicurists — The Hang Nail Gliders

Who do I hang out with?  Let me introduce you to five of my friends.  We are disc (Frisbee) golf buddies.  Once a week we tee off at 6:00 am and spend two hours walking the disc golf course set up in a public park.  Here are our regular players:

Jim Jackson (Immediate Past President of Las Vegas Chapter National Speakers Assn)
Darren LaCroix (Winner 2001 Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking)
Steve Pavlina (popular blogger, Personal Development For Smart People)
Bryant Pergerson (Finalist 2007 Toastmasters World Championship of Public Speaking)
S Frank Stringham (Music Director of the Las Vegas Improvisation Players, appeared on the opening show of Season-One America’s Got Talent)
John Kinde (Little old me)

What does this group have in common…besides playing disc golf together?  They all happen to be speakers, entertainers or bloggers.  But more importantly, they all have a great sense of humor and are fun to hang out with. 

We take the game seriously.  We have spreadsheets with score averages and win/loss percentages.  But our primary goal is exercise and fun.

We didn’t break any records this morning…unless you count a disc stuck on an awning with two water bottles.  It wasn’t until Steve took off his belt, the closest thing we had to a rope, that a maintenance man came by with a golf cart and a rake to rescue us.  Once the second water bottle got stuck, I think we broke the record for laughs.

People either lift you up or drag you down.  Who do you hang out with?  Do they make you feel good?  Do they make you laugh?  Do they whine and complain?  Do you spend too much time with toxic people?  Does your circle of friends need an extreme makeover? 

What kind of a friend are you?  Are you a magnet for positive thoughts?  Do you gossip?  Are you an asset in other people’s lives?  Do you bring smiles to your friends?  Do you need to change your own behavior? 

Food for thought.  You become the people you hang out with…and the people you hang out with become you!

THE SET-UP (what happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was delivered)

1.  Our club has an AH Counter (many clubs do).  The job of the AH Counter is to count audible pauses:  AHs and Umms.  Our AH counter also counts the unnecessary times we say AND, SO, WELL, YOU KNOW, etc.  I was caught saying WELL a few times too many.

2.  Eric Culverson presented a great tall tales speech.  He won the district contest this past weekend.  At the time this monologue was written, I was also in the running for Tall Tales.  Both of our Tall Tales speeches used a cell phone to take imaginary phone calls during our talks.  Eric’s Tall Tale was about running for President.  He took calls from Clinton and Obama during his speech.

3.  Eeric had a visual aid which didn’t fit well on his easel.  It fell off.  He got lots of laughs from the mistake.

4.  We have lots of funny people in our club.  The speech evaluators (who always present before the Observational Humor session) were especially funny.

5.  A speaker told a joke about a fence around a cemetery.  The fence was there because people were dying to get in.

THE MONOLOGUE

Let me do another Ronald Reagan impersonation:  “Well…”

If I compete against Eric again, I have a secret weapon.  I have an easel that’s worse than his.

I learned from watching Eric’s speech.  I’m going to use the cell phone more than once.

(answering cell phone)  Hello…oh Hillary!  Yes, you were right.  He IS talking to Obama.

My rhythm was thrown off today.   The evaluators were funnier than get free ringtones for my cell phone | free ringtones for prepaid phone | free metro pcs ringtones | mobile phone ringtones | free cingular ringtones | cricket ringtones | free ringtones for verizon phone | download ringtones motorola | free make own ringtones | send free ringtones to your phone | free nokia mp3 ringtones | free motorola razr ringtones | free make own ringtones | download free cricket ringtones | free ringtones and wallpaper | free polyphonic ringtones download | ringtones for sprint phone | nextel ringtones | cell phone ringtones | free jamster ringtones | the speakers.

My first Toastmasters club didn’t have an AH counter.  We had a Geiger Counter.  We kept track of every time someone said GEIGER.

There must be something wrong with me.  Today I passed by a cemetery with no fence around it…and I had no urge to get in.

Some speaking, comedy, and drama coaches insist that humor plays best when it’s played big.  At the same time other coaches insist that small is the key, Less-Is-More.  Sometimes the truth lies in the middle, combining elements of exaggeration with elements of minimalism it’s possible to create magic.  And yet, it’s possible that the power doesn’t lie in the middle, but exists at both ends of the spectrum…at the same time.

I create my humor on the platform at the small end of the scale.  For me, less is more.  Playing something over-the-top would come across as untruthful…for me.  And what is big for me, if I experiment with playing big on the improv stage, is nowhere near the definition of big for most players.  But my style works for me.  And even on the improv stage, my performance characteristics are strengths for the troupe as a whole.  I can do more by doing less than most other players in our troupe.

By contrast, there is the style of my good friend, and Musical Director of our improv troupe, S Frank Stringham.  He’s one of the funniest guys I’ve ever met.  He’s bigger than life in his physical movement, vocal variety, and facial expression.  We stand at totally opposite ends of the performance-style spectrum. 

Sometimes a person’s performance style is best described by comparing it with the styles of well-known performers.  I asked S which performers’ styles were inspirations to him.  His response included the names of playing-it-big performers:

“Steve Martin is, and has always been, my influence for playing-it-big,” says S.  “When Martin was doing straight stand-up comedy, not only was he wild-and-crazy, he was unique and original.  Add to that the fact that he used his other talents as a musician (banjo/singer), magician and balloon artist to enhance his act.  He hasn’t used BIG humor, as much, in the movies he has made, except for his first movie, The Jerk, and cameo appearances in movies and TV shows like the Muppet Movie, Little Shop of Horrors, and Saturday Night Live.  What amazes me most about Steve Martin is how smart he is.  His parody of Cyrano De Bergerac into Roxanne was genius.”
 
Another influence on S was Dick Van Dyke.  “He used playing-it-big as a family medium, entertaining the adults as well as the children with his incredible rubbery style of dancing (Mary Poppins with the penguins or Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s ‘The Ol’ Bamboo’ and ‘Truly Scrumptious’), his pratfalls on The Dick Van Dyke Show or his early days of great facial expressions as a story teller on television.”
 
S continues, “Finally, kudos have to go to Jim Carrey…even before he was discovered in movies such as The Mask or Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, he was my main reason for watching the television show In Living Color.  This man knows how to play-it-big and he does it with style, aptitude, and panache.  One of the things that I admire most about Jim Carrey is that he never seems to repeat a gag.  I’ve often thought to myself how disappointed I would be if he started doing what some comedians do, and that is to try and fall back on, and reuse, some of their earlier material that worked.  Jim Carrey has NOT done that, which I find very refreshing and admirable.”

In contrast to the experience S described, I can’t say that I’ve had a role model for developing my humor style.  But I can certainly identify funny people that I’ve liked and who may have sub-consciously influenced my humor development.  Some performers I’ve admired and consider somewhat similar in performing style to my own are:  Jack Benny, Steven Wright, Bob Newhart and Johnny Carson.  The deliberate delivery of Will Rogers also resonates with me.  Their styles are closer to the understated style that works for me.  They mastered the use of the pause, which is usually a strength of a person who plays it small. 

Jack Benny is famous (as is Johnny Carson) for his reacting to a punchline with a slow turn of the head.  He was one of the best at playing the long, tension-building pause to add power to his comedy.  His classic robbery skit, first played on his radio show in 1948, showcased the power of a strong character combined with the pause.  Benny was returning home when he was confronted by a mugger.  After asking for a match to light a cigarette, the mugger said:  “Don’t make a move.  This is a stickup.  Your money or your life.”  Benny paused and, well aware of his tightwad character, the audience laughed.  The mugger came back with, “I said your money or your life!”  Benny’s response:  “I’m thinking it over!”  A huge laugh.  George Burns had said that Jack Benny was funnier when he wasn’t saying anything.  The power of less-is-more.

Bob Newhart’s one-sided telephone conversations were great examples of the pause being used to magnify the laughter.   He would pause while the audience was left to imagine what the person on the other end of the phone was saying.  And Johnny Carson had a slow take style similar to Jack Benny, squeezing every bit of laughter out of a punchline.

The style S uses is true to his character and personality.  My style is true to me.  If either of us were to try to copy the style of the other, it would be funny…because it would be so unfunny. 

However that’s not to say that the two of us could not learn from each other.  An occasional stretch into the territory of bigness would add variety and power to what I do.  Patricia Fripp often quotes Ron Arden:  “The enemy of the speaker is sameness.”  Predictability can equal boring.  So it is, too, for the over-the-top performer who uses an occasional minimalist technique.  He or she may find that the diversion from one’s strength might be a high point of one’s performance.

TRIAL AND ERROR

We often settle into a comfortable performance style by experimenting to see what works.  Because of our own character traits and personality style, either the big style or the small style is often a better fit for us.  In time, our track record of success helps us to develop a style that becomes ingrained.  Our natural style evolves and becomes second nature, like riding a bicycle.  S can’t help but be big.  It’s a habit.  Likewise, being small is automatic behavior for me.

S adds, “Personally, I think that I like playing it big, because I don’t trust my audience to ‘get’ my jokes if I play-it-small.  I’ve done enough gigs where I tried playing-it-small.  When I do that, I bomb.  I’m sure there are two reasons, at least, for that:
    1)  I think deeper, or maybe the word is more esoterically, than most people.  It takes a certain kind of mind to understand where I am coming from, and I find few audiences that can relate to me.
    2) I’ve always relied on pratfalls and gesticulations to get my point across…and I think that people understand that about me, so when I say something funny that isn’t accompanied by a gesture or a facial expression, people don’t know that they’re supposed to laugh…even if they think that what I said is funny.  So over-the-top is the way for me…playing-it-big!  When done right, a person can get big laughs without even saying anything.”

Like S, I’ve developed my personal style through trial and error.  Some funny people have the reputation for being the class clown while growing up.  When I was a kid, I wasn’t particularly funny.  I really didn’t start to study and learn humor skills until I was 29.  I was a magician and wanted to add humor to my magic shows.  Bigger-than-life was just not me.  I was a quiet, laid-back, North Dakota Norwegian kid who started applying humor techniques on top of a less-is-more personality.  I evolved into a dry, low-key style by accident more than by intentional design.  I stayed true to my personality and the style developed out of that.

THE INTELLECTUAL STYLE

S observes, “It seems to me that the intelligent comedians usually do the playing-it-small gig, but Steve Martin (who is smart), and I (I consider myself smart, too) play bigger.  For me, I may just play it big because I am big, but no…I played it big from the time I was a little tyke.”

I agree, neither big nor small players own the market on intelligence.  Because of the very nature of humor (being analytical and making fresh connections), humor people, regardless of performance style, are smart people.  And there is certainly no disconnect with being big or physical and being smart.  Most people I know who are gifted physically and athletically are also gifted intellectually.  The assumption that jocks are dummies is a myth.  The masters of the physical just approach the creative process from a different angle than their more cerebral friends.  Both are intelligent.

WHAT IT MEANS

Know who you are.  Play from where you are.  Experiment to confirm what works best for you.  Master your foundation of either big or small style.  Then learn from people who are different from you.  Not only should you study artists who have your style but look for opportunities borrow from performers who are different from you to add a dash of seasoning, to sprinkle just a bit of variety into your performance.  Have the courage to step outside yourself occasionally. 

Your strength may come from big.  It may come from small.  Or it may come from a combination of both.  But the most important thing is that it comes from truth.  You can only be you.  That’s what will make your style uniquely you and give you power on the platform.

Remember our contest schedule:

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

New Joke Contests are announced on the 15th of the month.

Here’s this month’s cartoon and three captions to get you started.

.

I don’t care if you are the Loan Arranger.  Stop calling me Tonto.

Please let me join the Soccer Moms Credit Union…the Middle Aged Guys With Ponytails Credit Union doesn’t have a branch on this side of town.

You invested my retirement money in the Powerball Lottery?

Put on your humor hat and create some captions of your own.  Write, edit, and then select your best lines and submit them to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by May 15, 2008.

Visit the web site of Dan Rosandich for great cartoons and information on how Dan can create custom cartoons for your book, newsletter, web site, T-Shirt, and more!

Look for our next Cartoon Caption Contest on May 1, 2008.

Our next Joke Writing Contest is announced on May 15.

Our featured cartoonist is Dan Rosandich.  Visit his web site, www.DansCartoons.com, for great cartoons and information on creating custom artwork for your next book, newsletter, T-Shirt, or other project.

And here are this month’s top captions:

** FIRST PLACE **

Your Honor, you must find my client innocent of the flower shop theft charge. Anyone knows an ant can’t move a rubber tree plant.
     Derek Bly, Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada

** SECOND PLACE **

I object, your Honor.  I’m a litterbug!  What was I supposed to do?
     Randy Hunt, Chicago, Illinois, USA

** THIRD PLACE (tie) **

For my first witness I call “the fly upon the wall.”
     Andy Dolphin, Mount Barker, Western Australia

**THIRD PLACE (tie) **

Then along came a spider…
     Les Harden, Brisbane, Australia

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

- If I had wings I’d take my case to the high court!
- I oppose bail on the basis that Mr Moth poses a flight risk.
- Mister Centipede was at least one hundred feet away when the crime took place.
- I’m not nervous…I’m a Jitterbug.
- On one hand he looks guilty, on the other hand it’s circumstantial, on the 3rd hand he wasn’t there, and on the 4th hand…
- A little mercy your honor, I have a wife and 4,000 kids to feed.
- Are you kidding?  5 days in jail is a life sentence!
- Yes! I was a witness. The sky darkened and then a giant shoe…
- I will show the jury how the victim was simply enjoying some breakfast when he was struck with a rolled-up newspaper.
- Makeup will do you no good!   This show’s gotta air tonight!  And where’s Judge Judy?
- Your Honor, my client and I do not consider a bunch of Dung Beetles, Black Widow Spiders and Stink Bugs a jury of our peers!
- Beetle Bailey is appearing in this court under false pretenses.
- I am petitioning the court to put a bug in the house.
- Your Honor, I would like to submit this document as exhibit A but I am afraid that it is fly paper and I can’t get loose.
- 98,676 witnesses at the colony can’t all be wrong.
- Mr and Mrs Mantis were married; therefore his death was a joint venture agreement.
- The court will see, the defendants only crime was to respond to natural urges.
- Since Greg the grub’s metamorphism, he has failed to be identified in any line up.
- It’s not a fair jury; seven of the twelve are gardeners!
- If the glove is snug it must be a bug!
- Your Honor, the accused is charged with a heinous act of insecticide.
- We need an adjournment; three members of the jury are building cocoons.
- My client pleads for leniency…it’s not easy being a centipede with a shoe fetish!
- What is the sentence?  12 days of jail!  Couldn’t you just outright say ‘twice the lifetime’?

THE SET-UP (what was said and what happened during the meeting before the monologue was presented)

1.  The impromptu segment of the meeting (called Table Topics) featured food products, mostly canned and boxed items from Trader Joes.  The person delivering the off-the-cuff talk was asked to create a commercial for the item.

2.  A speaker talked about profiling customers.  A mention was made about “adult children of alcoholics.”

3.  A speaker talked about the many hats we wear as small business persons; sales, accounting, supply, janitorial, etc.

4.  A speaker mentioned his web site.  “When you type it in, no hyphens, slashes or underscoring.”

5.  Someone joked that we were fishing for new club members using fish hooks.

6.  Our club is about an hour’s drive from Pahrump, one of the cities in Nevada where brothels are legal.

7.  A speaker confessed she had a stack of unread books which was so high that she couldn’t jump over them.  She suggested that a way to catch up on your reading was to get up one hour earlier each morning.

8.  A speaker mentioned Mr Drysdale, the banker on The Beverly Hillbillies TV show from the 1960s.

9.  The week before the meeting I competed in a Tall Tales competition where I gave a speech claiming I was a space alien.

THE MONOLOGUE

Today’s Observational Humor session is brought to you by Trader Joe’s.
(It was obvious that they were really NOT the sponsor.  A funny callback.)

We’ve completed a profile of the type of people who do Observational Humor.  They have offspring who are the adult children of alcoholics.
(The logic structure of the punchline concerned me.  I wasn’t sure people would get the joke.  But it worked immediately.  Right after delivering it, I did a take, a facial expression indicating that I wasn’t really sure what I just said.  It was a subtle self-deprecation joke.)

I am an Observational Humorist, a speaker and a janitor.  My web site is www.HumorPower.com.  That’s with a hyphen, a slash, and an underline.
(The web site line works because it contrasts the simplicity of the web site name, Humor Power, with the made-up complexity of the punctuation.)

It was suggested that we use a fish hook to get new members.  There is a club in Pahrump that does that.  Not only that, they use a large hook when someone speaks overtime.  They’re called The Hookers Toastmasters Club.
(Since I was speaking to locals, they were familiar with the Brothels of Pahrump.  The line worked well.)

I have to admit, I also have a stack of unread books which is so high I can’t jump over them.  As I see it, I have two options.  Either I get up an hour earlier each morning.  OR I learn to jump higher.  I think I’ll choose to sleep in.
(The line received a big laugh.  The topper got another laugh.)

Someone mentioned Mr Drysdale on the Beverly Hillbillies.  Does anyone remember the name of his secretary?  Yes, Jane Hathaway.  I think we’re getting old.  Does anyone remember Klaatu Barada Nikto?  Yes, it’s from The Day The Earth Stood Still, a black and white movie from 1952.  When I saw that movie as a kid, I became fascinated with space aliens.  And now I am one.
(This joke involved a long set up, but involved the audience and flattered those with a good memory.  The final punch line made the connection with my Tall Tales speech.)

During your presentation, which should come first? 
  - The spoken word?
  - The written word?
  - The image or picture?

In the spirit of Good Humor, the punchline always goes last.  So ask yourself, “Which element triggers the laugh?”  Is it the written caption for the cartoon?  Is it the spoken aside for the cartoon?  Is it the cartoon itself triggering the laugh because of the spoken or written set-up?  Analyze what specifically causes the laughter, and that element should normally be presented last.

For example, I sometimes include newspaper headlines and Road Sign Photos as part of my programs.  One photo shows a newspaper headline claiming that the police arrested a car filled with naked people.  I pose the question:  “Have you ever seen a freeway exit sign that says: Take off all your clothes before you leave the freeway?”  And then I show the photo of a freeway exit sign in the Las Vegas area that says, “Las Vegas Blvd (Strip)”…  The first graphic (the newspaper headline) sets up the question.  The spoken question sets up the road sign photo.  And the road sign triggers the laugh.  The punchline always goes last.   In this case it’s the photo.

Here are a few PowerPoint resources:

The PowerPoint FAQ
A good list of PowerPoint resources.

PowerPoint Tips
This is a PowerPoint Tips article by Marilyn Snyder.  She is well-known as an expert in PowerPoint presentations.  In the article she shares eleven design tips.

PowerPoint Info web site
On this site, look under the section for “Sources to Locate Images for Use in PowerPoint” for a discussion of Rights Usage Fees, keeping in mind that if you find something in print or online (whether text or image), it IS copyrighted whether or not you see the copyright annotation.  For example, you can’t simply use a cartoon without first getting permission from the owner of the image.  Sites such as www.DansCartoons.com is a good example of a site which provides easily-licensed cartoons for your presentations at a reasonable fee.

Later, during the Observational Humor segment of the meeting, one of the observational lines (not my line), was:  “When John gave his evaluation of Steve’s speech, he said people were nodding in agreement.  Well, they weren’t agreeing.”  The line received a solid laugh.  I’m guessing that what was implied, and what was received was:  People were “nodding off,” or falling asleep during my evaluation.  It was an excellent line which I would have used myself; if I had thought of it!

One choice for delivering a punchline is:  Not to state the punchline directly; or rather, to imply the punchline.  If that was the intent of the creator of the line, it seemed to work.  I’m not only guessing at the intent of the writer, I’m guessing at the interpretation of the audience too.

What activates this joke is the double meaning of the word NOD.  It means “agreement” and it means “boredom or sleepiness.”  Since the meanings are almost opposite, it makes for a great set-up for a joke.

The joke is excellent.  Funny.  But let’s look at ways it could be been done differently. 

First, I would have made the punchline crystal clear.  “They weren’t agreeing…they were falling asleep.”  Implying the punchline is terrific if you’re sure that the audience can “fill in the blank.”  But if there is a chance they may misread your punchline, being very direct is usually the best approach.

There can be a problem with being too direct.  Insult humor can sometimes be a bit uncomfortable for either the speaker or the audience.  The speaker or audience may feel that the joke is too much of a roast line.  If the discomfort is on the part of the speaker, it will affect the delivery.  If the discomfort is on the part of the audience, they’ll hesitate to laugh. A legitimate concern. 

Whether or not you use attack humor successfully would depend on your relationship with the audience and your relationship to the person who is the target of the joke.  Also, the relationship of the audience to the target of the joke is an important factor.  If the target of the joke is well known to the group and everyone gets along well AND the target has a good sense of humor…the joke gets a green light.  Go for it.  If the target of the joke is a guest at the meeting, or has a sensitive personality, caution is in order.  In the case of this joke, directly going for the punchline makes sense since I was the target, a long-time member and also the person who introduced Observational Humor to the club.

A way to improve the joke and also soften the attack-nature of the line, would be to have the joke presented by the person who is the target.  It would have been a safer joke (not necessarily funnier) if I would have delivered the punchline (ignoring the fact that the line never crossed my mind!).  That would have made the joke self-deprecating instead of an attack-style, roast-like joke.  That makes the joke safer because it is usually reduces the discomfort level of the audience when a joke is self-targeted at the speaker delivering he joke, instead of an insult zinger from a third party.

In the final analysis, it was a fun joke.  Good humor thinking. Well-delivered.  Good laughter.  Yet it’s fun to examine how even a good line might be improved.