Humor Power

We had a lot of fun entries for our January Cartoon Caption Contest.  The cartoon featured professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month, alternating months.

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month, alternating months.

Here are this month’s top captions:

** FIRST PLACE **

I was right!  My ex-boyfriend was spineless!

     Carol Sauceda, Santa Barbara, California, USA

** SECOND PLACE **
 
Let’s speed it up! The other “Iron Surgeon America” team is almost ready to close.

     Sol  Morrison, Santa Barbara, California, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

We need to move it along here people.  I just found out our four-some’s tee-time has been moved up 2 hours.

     Tom Higgins, Lyons, Illinois, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Do we have time for a goup hug?
  – Simon didn’t say to cut.
  – When did we replace ultrasound with etch-a-sketch?
  – I’m not a nurse, I’m his wife, our health care doesn’t cover four professionals in the operating room!
  – Oh, that reminds me…I gotta pick up some kielbasa on my way home!
  – Well, sure, this “virtual patient” method does have its limits, but at least no one dies!
  – There goes his funny bone.  That’s $200 for me!  Oh, we’re not playing Operation?
  – The Orthopedist clearly said it was the left leg.
  – I thought YOU brought the heart.
  – This is the patient who swallowed 42 quarters last week.  No change yet.
  – Should we charge by the pound to take that out? 
  – Can someone please remind me where the appendix is located?
  – I’m not familiar with the internal organs of a ghost.
  – Who took my copy of “The Dummy’s Guide to Heart Surgery”?
  – I think this “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” can go a little too far.
  – Look! On the backbone: It’s the spine flu!
  – Oh my goodness! The backbone is not connected to the neck bone.
  – This patient’s heart is on the right side!
  – Be careful where you point that.
  – That is one ugly baby!
  – So that’s where I lost my nail clipper last month!
  – Now, I remember.  This is the woman my husband goes to on Thursdays and Fridays for Tango lessons!
  – I don’t know about you guys but I am really craving spaghetti for lunch.
  – Once you get the quarter out, I will rock, paper, scissors you for it.
  – Sometimes I pretend I am Barbara Streisand.
  – This patient is a democrat. We can’t operate, we’re a red state!

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.

Let’s look at some Observational Humor from a Toastmasters meeting which highlight some humor techniques:

  – Call backs and running gags.
  – Dropping yourself into the story.
  – What this means is.
  – What everybody is thinking.

Here are some of the set-ups (what happened at the meeting), followed by the observational humor remarks.

The first set-up.  The Toastmaster of the evening (emcee) selected a meeting theme of Star Wars.  He said that he had obtained genuine Star Wars story boards from a vendor in Nigeria.  He had created humorous story boards based on the Star Wars movies which he used to transition from one part of the meeting to the next.

Since the story boards were a big part of the meeting I decided to open my monologue with my own story boards:

I’ve created story boards for my monologue. (I created two hand-drawn pictures.)  This is me delivering the monologue (me drawn as a stick figure).  This is you laughing (stick figures with smiley faces).  Now that we’ve set the ground rules…I’ll begin my monologue.
(My use of story boards might be considered a call back to those used by the emcee.  But I prefer to think of it as a continuation of a story-board running gag established by the emcee.  It worked perfectly.  Big laugh.)

The second set-up.  Members Jim and Anita (husband and wife) normally attend the meeting together.  That evening Jim came to the meeting without Anita.  Jim has a funny guy and always has something to contribute during the Observational Humor part of the meeting.

Jim said that he had recently made millions of dollars selling Star Wars story boards from Nigeria.
(Here he is “dropping himself into the story.”  Someone had established the Nigerian connection story, and Jim made himself part of that story.  He received a big laugh.)

As he took his seat, I followed his comments with an observation:
Did you notice?  Now that Jim has made millions…he’s leaving Anita at home!

A third set-up.  A speaker gave a humorous speech on goal setting.  He made a resolution that when people cut him off on the freeway he’ll no longer shout obscenities or give them the finger…at the same time.

Here’s an observational remark from my monologue based on that “goal.”
I had a bad experience driving to the meeting tonight.  As I approached the freeway exit, I changed lanes.  I pulled in front of a guy who started shouting obscenities.  After 15 seconds he stopped shouting obscenities and started giving me the finger.
(This is another example of “dropping yourself into the story.”  I became part of his story, which he had established in his goal setting speech.  Very big laugh.)

A fourth set-up to help us look at two more techniques.  In her opening remarks, our club President noted that we had 14 guests at the meeting.

Here’s my remark:
We have 14 guests at the meeting tonight.  If this is your first meeting, you’ll realize what that means is…our club only has three members.
(A couple of things set the stage for this joke.  First, I’m using the principle of “What that means is…”  When something happens or is said, you often have the opportunity of translating what that means “in other words.”  Second, the principle of “What everybody is thinking.”  We had about the average number of people attending the meeting, about 25, but had more guests than normal.  It was the Monday following the New Years weekend, and member attendance was lower than usual.  When our President said that we had 14 guests, quite likely some people may have thought “There’s more guests than members here,”  or some variation of that thought.  In constructing the joke I realized there were more than three members present, but I exaggerated the low member attendance to get the laugh.  And three is a funny number.)

Another year begins.  And with it comes New Years Resolutions. Here are a few you may consider adding to your list to help you tune your humor radar and exercise your sense of humor.

 1.  One of the challenges of a New Year’s Resolution is that the goal is so massive that you don’t know where to start.  As a result, you don’t!  You can solve that problem by breaking the resolution down in to smaller bites.  What is the First Step toward achieving that desired goal?

 2.  Enter one of our contests this month.  First Step:  Take just five minutes to look over the contest and write just ONE line. If you think it’s funny, submit it.  The current contest is to write a cartoon caption.

 3.  Load a funny message on your telephone answering device.  First Step: Read related article on humorous phone machine outgoing messages.   Related article.

4.  Every time you’re in a shopping mall, take a quick walk through a toy store.  It’s a good place to stimulate your funny bone.  First Step:  Ask the clerk, “What’s the most fun, new toy in the store?”

 5.  Hang around people that make you laugh.  First Step:  Select one toxic person in your life and resolve to spend a little less time with that person.  You become the people you hang out with.

6.  Start a humor journal.  Log the funny and nice things that happen to you.  You’ll start to see more fun in your life.  First Step:  Buy a notebook.  Label it Humor Journal.  Place it on the nightstand by your bed.

 7.  Smile at the first person you see in the morning and say something nice.  It gets you in the right frame of mind to enjoy the day.  First Step:  Before you leave your home, look in the mirror and smile at yourself.  Related article.

8.  Get your hands on a new humor book, tape or CD.  Spend a little time each day with it.  Do it as a morning exercise or meditation.  Play it while you are dressing for the day or driving to work.  First Step:  Spend ten minutes on www.Amazon.com with a search for Humor Books.

9.  Look for humor greeting cards, bumper stickers and T-Shirts.  Or make your own.  At past National Speakers Association conventions they featured an event called Meet the Experts.  It’s held in a room filled with over 100 tables.  With two or three rotations you sit at a table with an intimate presentation on a topic of interest.  I’ve often worn a T-Shirt designed just for that event:  “So Many Tables — So Little Time.”  First Step:  The next time you’re in a grocery or drug store, visit the humorous greeting card rack and spend three minutes browsing. 

10.  Join an improv troupe or start your own.  First Step:  Spend ten minutes in the phone book or on the internet to see where the nearest improv troupe or comedy club is located.  Related article. 

11.  Join a Toastmasters Club.  First Step:  Visit www.Toastmasters.org and find the clubs in your area.  If you already know where a club is, find an officer for that club and call that person.

12.  If you are already a Toastmaster, commit to competing in the Humorous Speech Contest next fall.  First Step:  Find a humor seed and start to collect ideas for your speech.

13.  Develop your skills in observational humor and learn from every professional performer you watch.  First Step:  At every meeting and program you attend, sit with pad and pen waiting to jot down humorous and learning connections you note.  Eventually you’ll have a chance to start using the skills in your own presentations.  Check out the dozens of Observational Humor case studies in the Humor Power Blog.

14.  First Step:  Pick at least ONE of the ideas listed above and do it in the next 24 hours!

Let’s kick off the new year with a health-care cartoon.  We feature the art of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

Here is the cartoon:

Write as many captions as you can.  Then select your best three lines and submit them.  Deciding which lines are your best lines is a great discipline for discovering if what you think is funny is also found to be funny to others.  You can submit more than three lines, the extra lines will be eligible for honorable mention.  Only your first three lines will be judged by our panel of judges for first, second and third place.

Submit your entries by January 15, 2010.  Send them to:  humorpowertips@humorpower.com

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.

Here’s an Observational Humor monologue from a Darren LaCroix humor workshop in Las Vegas.

THE SET-UP (What was said and what happened during the workshop.)

1.  Darren mentioned that he is a very physical, high-energy speaker (which is true).

2.  Darren said that anyone contributing something to the program as an audience volunteer would receive a free CD of the program.

3.  We practiced creating a joke using the rule-of-three to set-up and deliver a punchline.  One joke was:  To motivate people you need sincerity, conviction and a gun.

4.  Darren demonstrated how the punchline tricks the mind, using the classic line:  Take my wife…please.

5.  Darren demonstrated character development in a story by giving one of his female characters the qualities of an Amazon woman.

6.  Darren mentioned that an ex-girlfriend was a teacher of the Law of Attraction.

7.  Darren presented an exercise, half and half:  I’m half French and half German…which means (punchline).

8.  I’m Norwegian heritage.

THE MONOLOGUE (Not delivered due to lack of time.  Remember that 90% of the value is in the creation of the monologue, not in the delivery.)

I know what you’re thinking…Oh no!  Another high-energy speaker.
(Self-deprecation.  I opened by immediately commenting on my contrasting, low-energy style.)

Is that enough to get my free CD?
(A topper and a quick and unexpected callback.)

I have a really funny joke to tell you.  I have a setup.  I have a punchline.  And I have a gun.
(A triple which sets up a punchline which is a callback.)

Take my wife…she’s an Amazon.
(Inserts a callback to switch a classic joke.)

Comedy secret #9.  Do what Darren does.  Surround yourself with people who are good at what they do.
  – His financial advisor is broke.
  – His fitness guru is in intensive care.
  – And his EX-girlfriend teaches the Law of Attraction.
(This is a triple that sets up a callback.  It’s based on the possible dis-connect, not the reality, between an attraction expert being an EX girlfriend.)

I’m half humorist and half Norwegian.  Which means that I’m funny…but you’d never know it.
(Self-deprecation.  I am funny, yes.  But most people would never guess it when first meeting me.)

Watch for the January 1 Ezine which will include an article on how to create “savers” (what to say when a line doesn’t work) based on Observational Humor.  We’ll examine three, original, one-time saver lines created during Darren’s workshop and analyze which is the most sure-fire one to use.  Subscribe to the ezine at www.HumorPower.com.

Check out this fun arrangement of  The Twelve Days of Christmas, Straight No Chaser, Men’s A Capella, Indiana University.  Entertaining and very professionally done.  I heard about it from Loren Ekroth, Better Conversations Ezine.

Here’s another monologue and analysis.  It was presented at the end of a Toastmasters meeting.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the meeting, before the monologue was delivered.)

1.  Our club President opened the meeting with a toast.

2.  We had two guests who appeared to be about 16 years old.

3.  Ryan and David are two members in their early 20s.

4.  Our emcee for the evening announced the meeting theme:  “Kicking Bad Habits.”

5.  A speaker opened a quote starting with:  “Einstein once said…”

6.  A speaker gave a talk on The Science of Prime Numbers.

7.  A speaker gave a speech based on the book Love Languages.

8.  In an impromptu speech Barbel mentioned watching the “adult channel” in her bedroom.

THE MONOLOGUE

I’ve been in Toastmasters for 36 years.  This is the first time I’ve seen a toast.  My life is complete.
(Irony.  One would expect that Toastmasters would always be doing toasts.  “My life is complete” is a topper.)

It’s great to see our young visitors tonight.  I’m especially happy they’re here, because Ryan and David can see what it feels like to be old men.
(This joke is a reversal.  Turning young people into old people.  Very good laugh.)

When Krista announced the theme of Kicking Bad Habits, I thought she said Kinking Bad Habits.  I thought that was strange, because that is the theme for next week.
(A joke based on a sound-alike word.  I suspected that I wasn’t the only one who heard “kinking” and I was right.  The “next week line” was a topper.)

Einstein once said:  “The person who can explain the science of prime numbers is not a nerd.  The person who can explain the science of prime numbers is a nerd squared.”
(Joke, topper, topper.  The first laugh line was “Einstein once said.”  Squaring the nerd fit the theme of the speech and was an alternate way of saying Super-Nerd.)

I’m writing a book on Love Languages.
     Flashing
     Drooling
     And heavy breathing
(A parody of the original book.  A huge laugh.)

Which reminds me to announce that after the meeting, there’s a party…at Barbel’s.  I’ll be taking notes for my book.
(A perfect closer.  The topper is a callback.)

It’s time for the results of our Blended Cities joke writing contest.  The contest theme was inspired by Sol Morrison of Santa Barbara.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Here are this month’s top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

Maryland and Tijuana — Mary-Juana:  A city Bill Clinton visited but didn’t inhaled once while he was there.
     Darin Thompson, Smithfield, Utah, USA

** SECOND PLACE **

Boulder and Landover — Boulderover: Where to impress that special lady.
     Marty Bernstein, Oak Park, Illinois, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

Omaha and Oshkosh:  Omikosh: A town of many fantastic surprises.
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Council Bluffs and Anchorage — Courage: The city of bold innovation.
  – Antioch and Reno — The city of Anti-No: So which one is it?
  – Woonsocket and Atomic City — SocketTomi: The home of the Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In museum.
  – Sitka and Compton — SitCom: The town that’s a laugh a minute.
  – Altoona and Birmingham — ToonaHam: The home of new improved mystery meat.
  – Cincinnati and San Fransisco — Sin Sinsisco
  – Topeka and Simi Valley — Peekasimi: Home of annual hide and go seek tournament.
  – DeSoto and Fargo — Sofartogo: A way out of the way town.
  – Lincoln’s New Salem and Winston-Salem — Lincoln’s New Winston-Salem – Honest Abe smoked here.
  – Gerlach and Boise — Boislikegerls: A town steeped in traditional values.
  – Winnemucca and Mystic — Winnamystic: The city famous for its annual guru lottery.
  – Spokane and Boron — Spokabore: Last city that still lacks a Toastmasters club.
  – Tucumcari and Altoona — Twocancarryatoon: More duets per capita than in any other town.
  – Pensacola and Pittsburgh — Burgercola: This town holds Guinness record for eating the most fast food.
  – Pahrump and Goose Bay — Gooseparump: A town where people don’t let anyone get behind them.
  – St Petersburg and St Louis: A Heavenly City
  – Honolulu and Highlands Ranch — Lulu Land: A community of rare Lulu pigeons.
  – Copenhagen and Wellington — Copewell: A tropical city that has disaster plans for blizzards as well as alien invasions.
  – Limerick and Norfolk — Limefolk: Country town where they make (and eat) green cheese.
  – Winnipeg and Wellington — Winwell: A city of good sports.
  – Milwaukee and Baltimore — Waukmore: Where public transportation is your feet.
  – Wichita, Washington DC and Wellesley — Wishingwell: Where your dreams can come true.
  – Bird-in-Hand, Fort Worth, Two Rivers, Indianapolis and Bushland — Birdinhandworthtwoindybush: Come to our town and hold on to your bird!
  – Stinking Bay and Los Banos — Stinking Banos: Avoid this town.
  – Chicago and Baltimore — Gomore: Where Ex-Lax and Feenamint are made.
  – Big Sandy and Bangkok — Big Bang: Carl Sagan’s hometown.
  – Hannibal and Montana City — Hanna Montana: Teens favorite town.
  – Santiago and Climax — Anticlimax: Where to live when it’s over.
  – Minneapolis and Vancouver — Minnevan: The place to buy a family car.
  – Fort Worth and Toronto — Fortonto: Birthplace of The Lone Ranger’s sidekick.

We often have beliefs that lead us down the wrong path when deciding whether or not to use original humor.

1.  We often want to be funny so badly that we think it’s a good  choice to use every humor idea we can think of.  The logic is that   “it’s a numbers game” and the more times we swing at the ball, the  more likely that one of the lines will connect and get laughs.  A   preferable  approach is to become a better judge of what is very funny and what is only slightly funny.  Then you become a better censor of what to use and what to throw out.

2.  We sometimes think that bigger is better.  Sometimes it is.  More energy is often funnier.  Bigger gestures are often funnier.  More vocal techniques are often funnier.  But it depends on your natural style.  For you, maybe less-is-more.  That’s the case for me.  Yet even if over-the-top is generally your best choice, you will be served well by exploring minimization occasionally, for variety if nothing else.

3.  We sometimes forget that most humor requires “permission” from the audience to use it.  Without permission, your humor can work against the less-is-more principle.  If you persist in using humor without permission, the audience may be thinking:  “There he/she goes again.  Begging for laughs!”

Let me share an example from a Toastmasters Contest awards presentation.  I competed in 2008 at a Humorous Speech Contest  and a Speech Evaluation Contest at the Division level.  I was competing in both contests.  During the contestant interviews, one of the other contestants poked fun at my low-energy style.  She said: “When John Kinde is on the platform I’m amazed at how much he emotes.  He really emotes!”  Her style is the opposite of mine, very high energy.  So the contrast was funny.  And the humor trigger, Something-Funny, told me that this might be something I could use later for Observational Humor.

In my head, I wrote three humor lines based on her remarks about my style.  I had written a fourth line contrasting her style and mine, but threw it out thinking it might appear to be attacking her style.  The three lines I wanted to use were:  A quick, one-word line (which I almost consider a throw-away line, not a serious joke).  And a joke with a topper.

I felt comfortable using the quickie line in almost any situation, but felt that the two more substantial humor lines should be used only if I won the first-place trophy in at least one of the two contests.  Without being the winner, I felt I wouldn’t have had “permission” to take the microphone during the awards ceremony and do two humor lines.  Without being the winner, it could have looked like:  “There goes Kinde again, forcing another humor line into the program.”  On the other hand, it appears normal for the first-place recipient to make some remarks.

The Speech Evaluation Contest results were announced first.  I was awarded Third Place.  I chose to use my quickie line.  I received the trophy, waited for the applause to die down, and stepped forward and said in a low-energy way, “Wow.”  It received a big laugh since it was a callback to the other speaker’s remarks.

And then I waited for the results for the Humorous Speech Contest.  I made the decision that I would only use the two prepared joke lines if I was the winner.  The good news is that I did win first place.  I received the trophy and said:  “Right after the contest I’m going to Wal-Mart.  They’re having a Two-For-One Sale on emotions.  And I want to thank my Emoting Coach…Stephen Wright.”

Less-Is-More.  Being selective adds power to your humor lines.  Use only your best lines and remember to ensure that you have permission to use them.

It’s time for the results of our November Cartoon Caption Contest.  We feature the art of Dan Rosandich.

New Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Here are this month’s top captions:

** First Place **

If you turn the paper upside down the economic forecast looks a lot better.
     Tom Nee, Oak Lawn, Illinois, USA

** Second Place **

Y’know, Dad, as the news gets worse, you look more and more like Gramps!
     Gerald Fleischmann, Fountain Valley, California, USA

** Third Place **

Daddy, I don’t think your mug shot looks that bad.
     Andrew Jones, Laie, Hawaii, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Is there anything in there about those detectives who were questioning you the other day?
  – You’re pretending your reading the paper because you can’t help me with my Calculus homework, aren’t you?
  – My school prank made the front page, didn’t it?
  – Daddy, are newspapers report cards for adults?
  – If I can’t get a raise on my allowance, how about a bail out?
  – Dad, you know your blood pressure can’t handle coffee and the newspaper at the same time!
  – I’ve seen this look, Dad.  Did mom have a headache again last night?
  – Are you angry about the news, or is it really about those ants crawling all over the chair?
  – Maybe if you drank lemonade instead of lemon juice, the news would look better!
  – Daddy I promise!  I will never do anything to get me on the front page of the newspaper again!
  – You look like a man well able to handle another little set back in his child rearing agenda.
  – At least they spelled my name right in thr Police Blotter.
  – Let me guess…you bet on the Phillies didn’t you.
  – I thought your Cartoon Contest entry was a sure winner, dad.
  – Can’t you see I’m Readin’ the Noosepaper, son?
  – Hey Dad, do you remember when you asked me not to ever ask you questions while you read the paper?
  – It’s almost time for my school.  Did you finish my homework Dad?
  – Gee, strong coffee and bad news doesn’t work for you, dad.
  – I know YOU talked about this last Sunday.  You didn’t want to hear MY reply then either.
  – Is that the new model Sofa-toilet-seat ?
  – Son: Dad.  Where do babies come from?
    Dad: Don’t bother me in the morning or else I’ll send you to the place where babies come from!

Visit the web site of Dan Rosandich for information on how he can create custom cartoons for your next special project, article, book, web site, blog, newsletter, T-Shirt and more.