Humor Power

Our joke writing theme for April is Quirky Sports Teams.  This is an exercise for linking words in a creative way.  Often you’re looking for a word with a double meaning to trigger a joke.

We announce a new joke contest each month around the 15th.

Look for our new Cartoon Caption Contest on May 1.

Here are some examples for Quirky Sports Team one liners:

A football team of Chicago nudists — The Chicago Bares
A bicycle club for political advisors — The Spin Cyclists
A running club for cross-dressers — The Drag Racers

Put your thinking cap on and see what you can come up with.  Edit your best lines and then submit them to us at HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by April 30, 2008.

Here are some highlight keepers from the second and third day of the NSA Presentation and Peformance Lab in Las Vegas, April 11-13, 2008. 

Richard Oberacker, Director of KA, Cirque Du Soleil’s dazzling show at the MGM in Las Vegas, kicked off Saturday morning.

One of the main themes of his presentation and coaching was truth in performance.
     - Everything in performance art comes from truth.
     - If it doesn’t come from truth, the audience will know, and it doesn’t belong in your speech.
     - When speaking, just be yourself.  Remove the obligation to be something else.
     - Take risks.  Don’t be afraid to fail.
     - Allow your audience to enter your program and find their own message.

Patricia Fripp, speaker and master presentation skills coach.
     - Consider every theatrical performance as a learning lesson.  As you sit in the audience, watch other performers (not just speakers) to learn techniques you can adapt to your own presentations.
     - Quoting Ron Arden:  The enemy of the speaker is sameness.
     - Like a movie, in your speech, “grab them right from the beginning.”
     - Transcribe your talk and then edit to elimate the unnecessary words.
     - For another post on Fripp keepers.

Robert Fripp, internationally-famous rock-and-roll guitarist.
     - What ever it is that you do, if you don’t practice it for one hour each day, you aren’t really doing it.
     - Work and surround yourself with better people.
     - Anything within a performance is significant, intentional or not.
     - Everything we are is revealed in our playing.
     - Life is too short to take on the unnecessary.

Dan Maddux, Executive Director, American Payroll Association.
     - Your responsibility is to give an experience ON the platform and OFF the platform as well.
     - Be available before and after your speech.
     - Coordinate the flow of your talk with the IMAG and video crews.
     - Never pass up the opportunity to do a sound and lights check before you speak.
     - You don’t need to be an Audio-Visual technician, but you need to speak the language.

Brian McDonald, Film-Maker, Writer, Story expert.
     - He shared his short-film, Whiteface, a comedy about the problems clowns might face if they were an actual race of people.  Insightful and brilliantly done.  Highly recommended.
     - What can I take away from my talk to strengthen it?  What can I not do?
     - Your job as a storyteller is to be an observer.
     - Stories are not complicated.  They are simple…but difficult to create.
     - Invisible ink is the writing beneath the words.  Most people will never notice it.

D.J. Vanas, Motivational Storyteller, Author, Success Coach.

     - Know your center of gravity, your bottom-line message or point.
     - Don’t re-tell your story.  Re-live it.
     - Stories are meant to be delivered to one person.
     - Hit all the senses.
     - Debrief yourself after every talk.

Victoria Labalme, Theatrical Keynotes and Coaching.
     - Make your spoken word imaginative and more precise.
     - Your body tells the audience what you are thinking.
     - When developing characters in your talk, explore specificity.
     - Don’t force an emotion.  Always come from truth.
     - When you write a speech:  Write it.  Speak it.  Write it.  Speak it.

Scott McKain, All Business is Show Business
     - Some great music is never heard because the presentation is not compelling.
     - Act as if you had a secret.  It adds power to your presentation.
     - What can I do to be distinctive?  If you’re the same as everyone else, you are a commodity.
     - You can’t command respect, you can only attract it.
     - Broadcasters have had more impact by being more intimate; by talking more softly; by pulling back on their gestures; by being quietly confident.

NSA Presentation and Performance Lab Day #1

Upcoming NSA Events:

NSA Branding and Promotion Lab
Cambridge MA
May 2-4, 2008

NSA National Convention
New York City
August 2-5, 2008

I’m attending the National Speakers Association (NSA) Presentation and Performance Lab in Las Vegas this weekend.  The first day was terrific.

Keynote speaker and magician Giovanni Livera opened the conference with a powerful program on creating Transformational Experiences for your audience.  He asked the question, “How can I be more astonishing?”  Here are a couple of things he suggested:

The first suggestion:  Create Audience Impact Moments to enhance the “experience” of the audience.  The group brainstormed forty-plus types of experiences a speaker could use to enhance a speech: Humor, Magic, Stories, Props, Music, Sound Effects, Gymnastics, Mime, Cartoons, etc.  You add “texture” to your talk by incorporating a variety of these moments and not relying on a single element to create your speech.  For example, rather than expecting humor to carry your message; or expecting stories to do the job; consider how much more effective it would be to include humor AND stories AND music AND cartoons AND poetry AND sound effects.  He also shared a storyboarding technique using colored Post-It Notes to visually see the flow of audience-impact-moments in your speech (color-coding each type of speech segment; stories from the heart, audience participation, music, etc.  Pick categories most relevant to the texture of your speech.)

Another suggestion:  If you close your talk with what you consider the strongest part of the speech, Giovanni suggested experimenting by moving the big closer to the front end.  It would start your talk with high energy and challenge you to strengthen the rest of your talk to match your new strong opener.  I’ve tried doing that during the past year, and I’ve discovered that it creates a wave of energy which enhances everything that follows.  I moved my funniest material, which was normally in the last third of my keynote to the front part of the talk.  It improved the impact of everything else in the speech.  The segments that followed benefited from riding-the-wave of energy created by the stronger opening.

That’s a small bit of what Giovanni shared with us.  A great presentation from the Creator of Experiences.

We also enjoyed a session by celebrity impersonator and impressionist Rich Little, an educational and entertaining program by a show-business master.  A lengthy question-and-answer session gave us many insights on connecting with and entertaining an audience.  One question was:  How much does he exaggerate or embellish when creating stories or humor. He said that he embellishes about five-percent of the time, usually when needed to strengthen a punchline at the end of the joke.  It was interesting to see how careful he was throughout his talk to add “no, he didn’t really say that” when he wanted to clarify that the funny words he was putting in the mouth of a celebrity were not words that the celebrity had actually said.

The conference was welcomed by Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman, a celebrity politician who embodies the style of Las Vegas.  His warm and witty remarks were a hit.

The afternoon closed with a Jam Session with two speakers from the audience receiving feedback from our panel of faculty experts.  A great end to a terrific day.  Looking forward to Saturday and Sunday.

NSA Presentation and Performance Lab Day #2 and Day #3

Upcoming NSA Events:

NSA Branding and Promotion Lab
Boston MA
May 2-4, 2008

NSA National Convention
New York City
August 2-5, 2008

Here are the results from our Quirky Job Placement joke contest.  The top lines were selected by a panel of six judges (speakers and improv players).

Our next joke contest is announced on April 15.

Our next Cartoon Caption Contest is announced on May 1.

Here are the top lines:

** FIRST PLACE **

Public Relations Expert:  Hire the Maytag repairman because he knows a great deal about the spin cycle.
     Derek Bly, Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada

** SECOND PLACE **

Vice-President of Operations:  Hire a priest because he is a white-collar worker in charge of mass production.
     Gary Bachman, Hagerstown, Maryland, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

Courier:  Hire a gynecologist because they are good at making deliveries.
     Arun Ramkumar, Chennai , India

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

- Pianist:  Hire a duck, it’s feathers will make it easier to tickle the ivories.
- Circus clown:  Hire a politician.
- Landscaper:  Hire a reporter to dig up dirt.
- Farmer:  Hire a politician to spread the manure.
- Computer Web Designer:  Hire Spiderman. 
- Accountant:  Hire a farmer because you need an experienced bean counter.
- Politics:  Elect a photographer. Image is everything.
- Sanitation:  Hire a bouncer, they’re not afraid to take out the trash.
- Computers:  Hire the Orkin man, he’ll get the bugs out.
- Weatherman:  Hire an astrologer.  The prediction rate can’t get any worse.
- Plumber:  Hire a Welsh dancer.  They know what to do with clogs.
- Stockbroker:  Hire a baker.  He can make you lots of dough.
- Baker:  Hire a stockbroker.  They patiently hold the dough until it rises.
- Dentist:  Hire a Queen.  She can crown you.
- Grocer:  Hire a bag lady.
- Actor:  Hire a lawyer…they find it easy to make lies look believable.
- Astronomer:  Hire a gossip journalist…they know all about the stars.
- Psychiatrist:  Hire a bartender…people have no problems opening up to them.
- Gas station attendant:  Hire a bodybuilder..they are good at pumping it up.
- Accountant: Hire a chef…he can cook the books well.
- Cobbler:  Hire evangelists….they can mend broken soles.
- Diplomat:  Hire a mime…they will never say anything that could lead to trouble.
- Electrician:  Hire a newsreader…they are good with current affairs
- Stripper:  Hire nudists.  The trick is getting them dressed so they can start working.
- Receptionists make good lobbyists.
- Forest Ranger:  Hire a gigolo…they know all about the wild life.
- Trumpeter:  Hire a publicist…they are good at blowing their own horn.
- Architects:  Hire a writer..they like to build on a plot.
- Professional  Magician:  Hire a sheep rancher…they know how to pull the wool over people’s eyes.
- Anesthesiologist:  Hire a high school principal.  His speeches will save the hospital money.
- Investment bank data analyst:  Hire a train spotter. As long as they take down some numbers regularly, they will have a good sleep at night.

What an enjoyable morning.  I Played disc golf with my friends  Darren LaCroix and Steve Pavlina.  It was a close three-way match up ending in a sudden-death playoff.  Great fun.  It’s played on a special course with chain baskets and frisbees.   Las Vegas has a couple courses set up in the city parks.  We hadn’t played much since the weather cooled down and we look forward to getting back into the swing of things by playing weekly again as we have for the past few years. 

The best thing about playing is the joking around.  We encourage each other and at the same time kid around, poking fun at all aspects of our games.  We’re competitive and decent players, but by no means pros.  So there’s plenty of room for laughing at our game, while still taking the game very seriously.

I remember a TV interview where Christopher Reeve said that the true essence of life was our relationships…not our money, cars, houses and things.  One of the measures of our wealth is how often we laugh with our friends and loved ones.  That’s what energizes me.  I had a terrific time, in spite of losing on the first hole of sudden death! 

We joke about the discs which get stuck in the trees, the imaginary magnets planted on the course to mess up our competitor’s game, the wind that blows the discs off course.  On the sudden-death playoff we had color commentary on the Novice versus the Member of the Senior Tour.  There seemed to be something to kid about on every hole.

Looking back on my life, I have special memories of those who made me laugh the most.  My good friend from high school days, Ed Hunt.  We still talk about our funny stories and some of the really stupid things we did.  My buddy from my Air Force days, Charlie Bitner, with whom I would take my Charlie Breaks.  Who needs a coffee break when you can take a Charlie Break?  He could always bring a smile and a laugh to my face.  Not an easy task!  And my good friend Maureen Keene who recently moved to Phoenix.  I miss our laughter-filled dinners.  Her birthday is next week.  Hopefully we’ll connect and share some laughs if she visits Las Vegas this week.

I hope your life is filled with people who bring you sunshine.  We need to avoid toxic people as much as possible.  On my 30-minute drive home from the disc golf course, I had a guy honk at me (it seemed like 15 seconds) for making a right turn into his lane.  It was “my bad”…I didn’t realize that he was going about 60 MPH or that my Honda Civic wouldn’t have much zip on that upgrade.  I should have been tuned into those things, but I wasn’t.  But, it was obvious that he was in a big rush to get home to argue with his wife.  So I didn’t dwell on the incident…for more than 60 seconds.  He’s probably one of those toxic people that I’m thankful not to have in MY life.  If you run into someone who pushes your buttons…that’s OK…you’re normal…just get over it quickly.  And then hang out with the fun people in your life.  And never take them for granted.  They are a gift.

Related Article:  How Success in Disc Golf Relates to Public Speaking

Last September we published a post on the Last Lecture of Randy Pausch.  Diagnosed with cancer he gave his “last lecture” on Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams, encouraging people to dream big.  His talk was a model of being genuine and connecting with the audience.  Here’s an update.

He’s featured on ABC, The Last Lecture – A Love Story For Your Life, with Diane Sawyer.  The USA broadcast is Wednesday, April 9, at 10pm (or 9pm CST).

He has published a book:  The Last Lecture.

Darren LaCroix posted a fun blog entry today, in his In Between Stage Time.  This post would especially be entertaining to Toastmasters and fans of his.

Check out Darren LaCroix’s web site for outstanding books, audio & video products, workshops and more.  Darren is a Toastmasters World Champion of Public Speaking.

Have you seen, heard of, or created a great April Fools Day joke this year?  Tell me about it!  I’ll share the best ones in a future post.

It’s time for the April Cartoon Caption Contest.  No fooling!

Our contests feature the artwork of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

This month our cartoon is Bug Court.

Here are a few captions to see where it could take you.

And I will prove that Roach Motel is deceptive labeling.

He’s a predator…his internet profile says nothing about being the Orkin Man.

You’re honor…the defendent is a snake and in this court doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

Enter the contest by writing several captions and selecting  your best ones for submission to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by April 15, 2008.

Visit www.DansCartoons.com as a resource for cartoons for your book, web site, blog, T-Shirts, and more. Contact Dan for more information. 

Here is some information on how we put together our Newsletter and Blog posts.  It will help you scan them to find information that is of interest to you.

If you’re a regular reader of the Blog, nearly all the links in the Newsletter are to Blog posts since the previous issue of the Newsletter.  As a Blog reader, what IS new for you in the Newsletter is the feature article provided in the Newsletter text (not a link).  Each featured article averages about 1000 words.  If you were a Blog reader and NOT a newsletter subscriber, you would miss 24 featured articles each year.

If you’re primarily a Newsletter reader and read the Blog posts only through the Newsletter links, the Newsletter allows you to quickly skim and click only on articles of interest.  For example, if you’re only interested in joke contest results…the links are clearly marked and you can quickly find them and skip everything else. 

The articles written for the Newsletter have not previously appeared in the Blog.  After one year, I occasionally review and update some of the Newsletter articles and post them to the Blog for the first time.  The Newsletter subscribers get the information first.  However, most of the Blog posts are first-time articles which have not been previously posted anywhere else and are available to Newsletter readers in the form of links, two weeks after their publication.

Click here to subscribe to the Newsletter. 

Thanks to all our subscribers.  We appreciate your interest in humor and the kind notes you send our way.  Be sure to let us know if there is anything you’re not seeing that you would enjoy reading about. 

Okay, now open up and say “aaaarrrrggghhhhh”…

It’s a funny line.  And I meant to include it in the Honorable Mention list.

I also indended to include an explanation with the results post.  And I forgot.  We normally get an average of 400-500 submissions.  And surprisingly, we rarely have duplicates.  In a normal contest we might have one line duplicated in all the entries.  In the pirate contest, over 20 people submitted jokes with “say arrrrrrgh” as the punchline.  Good writing.  I like the line.  The problem with recognizing the line with so many duplications is that when you publish it as a top-three line, 20 other people are thinking “hey, that was MY line!”  Or, as an Honorable Mention, they’re thinking, “there’s my line, but they changed the words a little.”  A second consideration; with so many people submitting the line, it was considered by the judges to be too obvious.  In my opinion, however, it’s good writing and is funny.  I had intended to publish one of the variations as an Honorable Mention with an explanation.  Arrrrrrrgh!

The full results post immediately follows this post.