Humor Power

Our Joke Contest for August challenges you to identify a group of people and then find their favorite form of entertainment.

From a creativity approach, you can start with the group first and look for the entertainment.  Or you can start with the entertainment and work backwards to figure out what group would supposedly be attracted that entertainment.

The group actually could be an individual.  The entertainment could be a rock band, comedian, TV show, movie, sport, or a wide assortment of other entertaining pastimes.

Here are three samples:

Vegetarians like Carrot Top.
Javelin throwers like Shakespeare.
Clock makers prefer 48 Hours to 60 Minutes.

Create as many lines as you can.  Select your best ones and submit them to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by August 31, 2008.

It’s time for the results of the Big House joke writing contest inspired by Steve and Erin Pavlina.

Our Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month.

Our Joke Contests are announced mid-month.

Here are the top lines from this month’s contest, selected by a panel of four judges.

** FIRST PLACE **

A condition of my house arrest is that I can’t leave the state, which of course makes it very difficult to go to the bathroom.
     J.D. Haack, Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA

** SECOND PLACE **

My house is so big, I wake up every morning to my wife’s fifth echo.
     Ken VanDrese, Escanaba, Michigan, USA

** THIRD PLACE (tie) **

My house is so big that we have You Are Here signs every 10 yards.
     Arun Ramkumar, Chennai, India

My house is so big, there are two toll booths in the east hall.
     Michael Cortes, Erie, Pennsylvania, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  - My house is so big, it has it’s own gravitational field.
  - My house is so big, it replaced Pluto as the ninth planet.
  - My house is so big, it’s not the Holiday Inn, it’s the Rest of the Year Inn.
  - My house is so big, a walk through it will take you through two time zones and three climates.
  - My house is so Big, Tom Hanks wanted to be in it.
  - My house is so big, in my den are 6 miles of Route 66.
  - Rain had threatened to ruin The National Drag Racing Finals so they ran it indoors in my house.
  - My house is so big, that bankrupt airlines are storing their unused 747s in my hall closet.
   - My house is so big that, when I went bankrupt, it wouldn’t fit into “for”closure.  They had to do a “five”closure.
  -  My house is so big, the backyard is just beyond the horizon.
  - What do you mean you can’t install a cell tower in our kitchen?
  - My house is so big, you need Google maps to get around it.
  - My house is so big, that we have different time zones in the west wing and the east wing.
  - My house is so big, that we have our personal border security force
  - My house is so big, you can see it from the moon.
  - My house is so big my carpet is shampooed with a crop duster
  - My house is so big my wife thinks she’s a Queen and doesn’t have to make me dinner.
  - Other families have a swing set in their backyard, my kids have a Six Flags.
  - My house is so big an asteroid could destroy 99% of it and my world record house of cards would still stand in the closet.
  - The Loch Ness monster has reportedly been sighted in my jacuzzi.
  - If all the toilets in my house were flushed at once everyone showering in New York City would be burn their naked behind.
  - If the Chinese dig past the waterline in China they might hit my septic tank.
  - I like to race monster trucks with my friends in my bedroom and my wife doesn’t seem to care since she sleeps right through it.
  - My house is so big my wife bulldozes the rooms that get a little dusty.
  - My house is so big that I have a different bedroom for each day of the week.
  - On the bright side, our house is in five different school districts.
  - My house is so big, I have to use my GPS to find my way to the master bedroom each night.
  - My house is so big, a life guard is always on duty whenever a guest takes a bath.
  - My house is so big, all the maids get travel expenses, inside the house.

The Funny Or Die web site features a parody of John McCain’s ad where he uses the image of Paris Hilton to make a point.  Paris Hilton appears in the parody responding to the original campaign ad with humor.  Regardless of whether you’re going to vote for McCain or Obama…or Hilton…it’s a good example of responding to an attack with humor rather than angry words.

To explain the concept of book-ending your speech, consider the role of book-ends on a shelf.  Although they may look wonderful and accent the decor of the room, their job is not just to look nice!  Normally, their job is to support the books and keep them from falling over.  So it is with a good opening and closing for your speech.  Their job’s are to support the body of the talk and keep it
from falling apart. 

Although you could use non-matching bookends on your shelf,
MATCHING book-ends are much more striking, have more class and
provide their support with more flair.  Here are some ideas for
using matching book-ends for your speech.

1.  Humor.  I often open and close a speech with humor that
matches.  It may match in subject content.  The humor-closer may be
a delayed topper for the opening joke (not normally the placement
for the topper, as it would normally be placed immediately after
the primary joke).  Or, it may just match the theme of the opening
humor.  Let’s say you opened your talk with a funny line about
dogs.  Then close it with something funny about dogs.  I once
opened a comedy routine with a joke about 800 toll-free numbers.
So I closed it with a different joke about 800 telephone numbers.
Take a look at Observational Humor Case Study #6 for an example of
opening and closing a humor routine with the technique of
book-ending.

2.  A story.  You could open a speech with a story.  You could just
tell part of the story, not the whole thing.  This is actually a
good speakers technique:  “Let’s interrupt the story for a moment
while we take a side trip.”  In this case, you could choose to
complete the story at the end of your speech.

3.  Music.  You may open and close the speech with the same song,
maybe using different verses.

4.  Magic.  You may open and close a talk with magic.  I’ve often
used this as a technique with my comedy-magic.

5.  A quote.  You could open and close with the same quote.  Or a
different quote from the same person.  This could be an especially
effective way to support the central theme of your talk.

6.  The Past/The Future.  You could open with “this is what our
association used to look like” and close with “this is what our
association will look like in the future.”  Or using this technique,
make reference to the talk which preceded yours and how it relates
to your talk.  Then at the end of your speech, make reference to
the talk which follows your talk, and how they both relate to the
central theme of the conference.

7.  A Prop.  Use a prop at the start of your talk.  Come back to
the prop at the end.  Or maybe at the closing of the talk, give the
prop away as a prize to someone in the audience.

8.  A Challenge.  Open with a challenge or problem facing the
audience.  Close with the solution and call-for-action.

9.  Tie The Ribbon.  Get the idea?  Relating the opening and
closing of the talk is like wrapping your speech in a nice ribbon
and tying a bow to make it a total gift for the audience.  It looks
professional.  It’s memorable.  It helps you to deliver a message
that connects and makes a difference.

It’s time for our August (can you believe it’s August!) Cartoon Caption Contest. 

We’re featuring the artwork of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.  Visit his website for information on creating custom artwork for your next special project.

We announce new caption contests at the first of each month.

Our Joke Writing contests are announced mid-month.

Here is this month’s cartoon:

That’s not what I meant by “a little off the sides.”

Write as many captions as you can and submit your best ones by August 15, 2008 to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com.

Our July Cartoon Caption Contest was The Bicycle by professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.  He can create custom cartoons for your special project.

Our caption contests are announced on the first of the month.

Our joke contests are announced on the 15th of the month.

Here are the top lines from this month’s contest.

**FIRST PLACE **

And with all the money you’ll save on gas, you can rent your own apartment.
     Nancy Lininger, Camarillo, California, USA

** SECOND PLACE **

I told you it had a manual transmission and great fuel economy.
     N Diamond

** THIRD PLACE **

With this baby, my only carbon footprint is the wear on the rubber tires.
     Bernard Wong, Johor Bahru, Johor, Malaysia.

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  - This one solves two major national problems, energy and obesity.
  - Lance Armstrong has one just like it and look who he is dating!
  - That’s a radar detector.  A car only has 5 speeds, this has 12, think how fast you can go.
  - It won’t go highway speeds, but if anyone gets in your way just press this button on the little black eliminator box…and zzzzap!
  - Think of it as the ultimate green car.
  - We’re downsizing–and by the way, you start your paper route tomorrow.
  - You’ll only have to use it until gas comes down to $3.25 a gallon.
   - My doctor ordered me to pedal around the block twice a day because I am suffering from Bicycle-Cell-Anemia.
  - Don’t be embarrassed…just tell your friends it’s a hybrid.

Conclusion of Interview with Darren LaCroix about his speaking trip to China.

What elements of your presentation really connected?
My facial expressions!  One thing I noticed is that they loved my energy.  That’s one thing they connected with.  I tend to be high energy and animated.  Animated delivery engaged them.  It’s an amplified form of communication.  It was like turning on a microphone.  They could hear me better.  My grammar and pronunciation may not be as perfect as someone like David Brooks, but my energy helped to make up for that.  What I lose in eloquence I gain in energy, enthusiasm and sharing of emotion.

Here’s something fascinating.  I was judging a Mandarin speech contest in Malaysia, not as an official judge but I was just filling in the judging form as I watched the contest.  And I picked the winner.  And I had no idea what he was saying.  But because of rapport, audience response, how he commanded the stage, I picked the winner. 
 
Compared to a regular Toastmasters presentation, what did you do differently in China? 
I found that nearly everyone in the club where I spoke was young.  And seemed that 95 percent of those attending the District Conference were under 30.  Just the opposite of here in the USA.  Many of them use it as a place to work on their English.  It’s a value-added program for communication skills.   So as the first World Champion to speak at a District Conference in mainland China, I really needed to make sure I was encouraging.  I wanted to show them where I started from. 

I did two programs.  On Friday night I did my coaching program, showing an early version of my winning speech:  Ouch!  And they told me what was the difference between the early version and the final contest version.  And Saturday, I talked about where I started and showed my Stitches comedy club clip, my first time on stage, and how really bad it was. 

I really tried to emphasize that this is a process we can all learn and that I’m just a guy who used the system of Toastmasters better than most.  So I beat myself up showing how bad I was at the beginning to be encouraging.  One of the things I always remember from Rosemary Verri, who was one of my early mentors and the one who brought me into speaking in NSA, “the problem is funny, the solution is serious.”  So I made fun of me and where I was at, to give them hope.  And then I shared the process that got me here.  So I took that very serious, but I made light of where I started.  It’s something I normally do in my programs, but in China I made sure I emphasized it more than I usually do.  I wanted to show them that anyone can learn these skills if they commit to it.  Anyone can learn to be funny if they are willing to make some mistakes.  And realize that there’s really no one night or one speech that defines you.  Even the best bomb.  Even the best need to get over it.  So my normal program might be 20 percent Hope, my program in China was 40 percent Hope.

Thank you Darren for sharing highlights and insights from your speaking trip to China.  It sounds like you had a great time and a fun adventure.  We can all learn from your experience. 

 Part One  –  Part Two

Continuing Interview of Darren LaCroix about his speaking trip to China.

How did you prepare for your China programs?
I bought books and when I hit the ground in China I spent a lot of time asking questions and talking to as many people as I could.  The best advice I received, which was brilliant, came from  Keith Ostergard, a native Virginian who is now the District 85P Governor in Beijing,  and he is married to a woman from China.  Keith said “Darren, don’t try to change your presentation.  The problem is if you’re trying to edit as you go, you’re not going to be present in the moment.  All I want you to do is slow down.”  Which makes all the sense in the world.  Because when I studied the other World Champions, in their contest speeches, they took their time, they went slower and they took longer pauses, but it’s dawning on me that this is even more crucial to the international people in the audience.  In any audience some may not be native-English speaking.  And they’re having to translate what you say in their heads.  And in China almost 100 percent has to translate.  I think it was brilliant advice.  And as a presenter, I would give that advice to everyone, who is American or a native-English speaker, because we can’t get too caught up in editing.  They want to hear your presentation the way you usually give it.

So my pacing was to do my rants just like I’d normally do, but then I’d pause longer before I’d go to the next segment, wait for them to catch up.  It’s like doing a race and pulling something behind you with a bungee cord.  I didn’t slow the whole thing down, but I would stop once in awhile to let them catch up.  One of the most difficult things for us to do as speakers is to stand there and say nothing.  But we have to give them time to reflect and we, as speakers, need to be comfortable with the silence. 

Did you try to learn some Chinese?
I took a couple of years of Spanish in Junior High School, and I’ll always remember those encouraging words of my teacher Leopold Williams, “LaCroix you bloody idiot!”  So I wasn’t very good in foreign languages.  In China, I learned a greeting, walked on stage and opened with Ni Hao, which is welcome in Chinese. I wanted them to know that I cared enough to learn how to say hello.  And I had one line which I’ll probably blog about, I said “looking around here I have never felt so (and I used the Chinese word for foreigner).”  It got an OK laugh.  I really thought it would have been funnier.  But it’s a risk. It’s about them.  It’s a calculated risk.  If it’s about the audience, it’s OK to take risks.  And it’s OK not to get great laughs.  The purpose of it isn’t the laugh as much as it is to connect.  So I’ll always take a little bit of a risk so long as it’s about them.  One of the first things you should do is learn some slang.  They loved it when I said bullshit in Chinese.

How was it doing humor in China?  How was humor perceived differently?  And how was it the same?
Well, first, I had my celebrity status working for me.  I advertise in Toastmaster Magazine.  And they had shown my Ouch! speech at a meeting before my arrival.  It makes your first five to seven minutes easier, but after that if you’re not funny it doesn’t matter who you are.

I found that sarcasm was perceived very differently, and I think it’s cultural.  I know many people who are Asian-American who love sarcasm and laugh at it, but that’s part of our society.  In China, my perception is that sarcasm is perceived more directly and it’s perceived as mean or negative when that’s not where my heart is.  I love sarcasm and I enjoy it, but I can see where if it’s not a culture you’ve grown up in, it could seem really negative or caustic.  And I’m not referring to really negative humor, but rather something that we as a culture just think of as normal teasing of someone or even teasing of ourselves. 

Here’s something that really worked.  I asked them:  If you wanted to learn to be a comedian, who would you go to for advice?  To a comedian, right?  That’s great.  So what did I do?  I went to my family.  It was the biggest response I got in the whole hour and a half.  The response was huge. The size of the laughter shocked me.  And it turned into applause.  When laughing turns into applause, it’s like they’re saying “Amen brother.  You’re preaching to the choir.”  When you think about it logically, their culture is so much more traditional, I know my parents were traditional and set in their ways, and in China it’s even a bigger taboo to go against your parents.  So I think that’s why that line really resonated there.

Part One — Part Three

This is a three-part interview of speaker Darren LaCroix, Toastmasters 2001 World Champion of Public Speaking, on his speaking trip to China. 

It was a typical day for two Toastmasters in Las Vegas.  We played Frisbee Golf in the morning.  We did the interview over Pizza for lunch.  And we attended a Toastmasters meeting in the evening.  And never once set foot in a casino.
http://www.humor411.com

What was it like speaking in China?  Was it your first time?

It was not my first time to Asia.  But it was my first time to mainland China.  I’ve spoken in Malaysia, Taiwan and Singapore before.  And I’ve spoken in the Middle-East, Oman.  It was very different speaking in Asian countries than speaking in the USA.  I found that they laughed in places where I never had laugh lines before. And they wouldn’t laugh at my biggest laugh lines.  I had to stay in the moment and also not be shaken by they fact that they didn’t laugh where I always get laughs.  Sometimes we can feel, as a speaker, that you’re bombing, or it’s not working or that you’re not connected.  One of my big battles was to let go of the thought that I was bombing or that they didn’t like me; even though sometimes the laughs just weren’t there. 

How are audiences different in China? 

I noticed that they are like sponges, they’re leaning in.  A general audience in the United States, and I’m not picking on any particular organization, about 10-20 percent are really connected and really want to learn.  Most people are just sitting back and enjoying, and some are just concerned with their own problems or they’re there just because they have to be there…casual listeners.  In Asia, I find it’s just the opposite where 80 percent are intensely listening to you and really there to absorb anything they can learn.

I think back to when I won the Toastmasters world championship, the following year I spoke at a Regional Conference.  And here I am, the gentleman who won the contest the year before, and I was doing a workshop.  There were eight contestants in that region who were competing in the International Contest that year.  Three of the eight approached me for help.  The other five I never heard anything from.  It was widely publicized that I would be at that conference, but only three approached me for help.  One of them asked me to watch him at his club two or three times.  I was able to fit it into my schedule and was happy to go.  Another one had a 20-minute phone conversation with me.  The third one sent me an email with two quick questions. 

Now I remember when I was competing the year before, Mark Brown, the 1995 champion, was speaking at a convention I was attending.  And I’m in the front row, leaning over, taking notes, sopping up everything that I can.  Mark said that I stood out because I was so eager, and I don’t know if he even knew that I was a contestant at that point.  But what blew my mind was that I never even saw any of the other five contestants.  They weren’t even in my session.  And yet they were competing later that day.  Now it’s not like you should make a lot of changes the day of the contest, however wouldn’t you want to hear or be inspired by someone who won the contest you’re about to compete in? It just blows my mind.  Now I know there are people who have family priorities.  And I understand that, but I don’t think five of them did. I think more of them could have been there.  I think it goes back to a mindset.  Now going back to the results of that contest, I said there was one gentleman who I personally coached at a couple of his clubs, a woman I spoke to on the phone for 20 minutes and a man who sent me a couple of questions on email.  Ironically, they finished first, second and third.  The gentleman I coached came in first.  The woman who called me came in second and the guy who emailed me came in third.  Now it’s not an ego thing.  It had nothing to do with ME.  It had to do with their mindset, because I know we can extrapolate the work that they did with me to everything else that they did. 

The reason I bring that story up is that every time I’ve spoken in Malaysia, Singapore, Taiwan, and China…most people had that mindset.  Not all, but at least 80 to 90 percent were leaning in and sponging everything they could.  So I would take an Asian audience any day even if they don’t laugh at some of my jokes. [laughs]  It’s so much easier speaking to an audience that is just leaning in and dieing to connect with you.

Part Two — Part Three

Here’s another Observational Humor monologue from a Toastmasters meeting. 

The Set-Up (What happened and what was said during the meeting before the monologue was delivered.)

1.  Steve mentioned in his speech that some speakers at a conference he had attended took the stage with no introduction.  Often they said something like:  “Well, OK.  I guess it’s time to get started.”

2.  Roselyn gave a speech about her experience as a race car driver going 180 mph.  Another member, Bill Lusk, is also an avid race car driver.

3.  Pam and Bryant hosted a club officer installation party at their new home in the North part of Las Vegas.  It was a very long drive to get to their home.

4.  Roselyn, in her Race Car speech, told of a near-crash experience.  She said her incident wasn’t headline material but that she made the centerfold.

5.  Roselyn had been given the advice to attach yourself to the rear end of the car in front of you.

6. In Steve’s speech he said that when speaking he likes to focus on smiling and friendly faces.

The Monologue

Well OK.  I guess it’s time to get started.  (I thought this was a simple, cute opener.  It surprised me by getting a very big laugh.  My analysis of the response, in the moment, was that the audience interpreted the line differently than I had intended.  I had only meant to use a “trite” opening for my monologue.  But I believe the audience thought I was implying, “OK we’ve heard Observational Humor from several people.  Now it’s time for the REAL Observational Humor.”  That interpretation never occurred to me before I used the line.  But I welcome laughs even when they are stumbled upon.  And I pretended that the interpertation of the audience is what I intended right from the start.)

Who would have guessed that Roselyn was a female Bill Lusk!  (A big laugh from a fairly obvious comparison which had not been stated before.)

Last Monday, I went to our club party at Pam and Bryant’s home in the North part of Las Vegas.  For those of you who haven’t been to their new home…when you go…take your passport.  (A very big laugh.  I think many people felt as I did, “Wow, this place is way out of town.”  A common experience is a good source of humor.)

It was interesting that Roselyn’s speech was on FOCUS.  Because when she said she was the centerfold…I lost my focus.  And I had just regained my focus because I had lost it earlier when she said she had attached herself to someone’s rear end.  (Two huge laughs with a joke and a topper.)

Steve mentioned that when he’s speaking he likes to focus on friendly smiling people.  That explains why he never looks at me.  (Self deprecation.  I’m a nice guy, but would never be accused of being Mr Smiley Face.)