Humor Power

We are reminded of the power of humor when we watch the Oscars program.  Or when we watch the Super Bowl.  Typically, 85% of Super Bowl commercials are based on humor.

The Oscars are almost always hosted by a stand-up comic.  The program last night opened with Neil Patrick Harris presenting a comedy song-and-dance routine.  The hosts of the program, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin opened with a comedy monologue customized with references to the top films and the celebrities in the audience.  They used self-deprecating humor poking fun at themselves and each other.  Baldwin said to Martin, “They don’t just give Oscars to stand-up comedians…like anyone needs to tell you that!”

And of course there were examples of Observational Humor.  After Geoffrey Fletcher’s emotional acceptance speech, with comments about not knowing what to say, Steve Martin quipped, “I wrote that speech for him.”

Since the pros in the advertising and entertainment business keep reminding us of the value of humor, they are giving us a not-so-subtle hint that humor is of great value to us when we speak.  Not that we need to be a stand-up comic, but that we need to sharpen our humor skills to the point where we can at least season our talks with just a sprinkle of humor. 

Look at your humor skill level and ask:  How can I get to the next level?  How can I be just a little funnier?  Fresh humor skills will give you a new platform from which you can jump to even higher levels of mastery.

Our Quirky Medications contest featured many great lines from our readers.  Let’s look at a few of the techniques that people used for coming up with humorous twists.

Similar Sounds:  Aussiecotton – Softens and protects any condition “Down Under”

Add A Letter:  Frolic acid – Makes you feel young again

Keeping The Cadence:  Suethefed – Legal relief for people fed up with the Federal Reserve Bank

Looking For Common Qualities:  Lyrica-Allegro-Concerto with Cymbalta – Taken by orchestra members before a performance to keep them upbeat

Playing With Names:  Gerrytol – Mr Fleischmann’s medicine (another one of our frequent submitters and winners, Gerald Fleischmann)

Linking Phrases:  Halls of Montezuma – Marines use this for sore throat

Using Stereotypical Patterns:  Blowtox PM – Eliminates the urge to be a late-night wind-bag

Marty Bernstein is a name you might recognize.  He is a frequent contributor to our contests and is often recognized in the top three. 

His submissions for the February contest, Quirky Medications, were either lost in the shuffle, lost when our site was down for maintenance, or lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

Marty is one of the contributors who rarely submits just three entries.  He ususally submits dozens.  That’s one of the keys to creativity.  Part of success is a numbers game.  The more you write, the more likely one of your creations will be a gem.  Your best line is rarely the first line you write.  In fact it probably isn’t in the first ten lines you write.  Just when you think you can’t come up with anything else…write ten more lines.

Let’s look into the sharp and prolific mind of one of our creative writers, Marty Bernstein.  Look at how he came up with multiple lines for Rolaids and Tylenol.  Here are the lines he submitted, or tried to submit, for the February contest:

  – Suethefed  – Legal relief for people fed up with the Federal Reserve Bank
  – Vicks Capo Rub – For your next dispute with a rival boss 
  – Nia-C-span  -  Vitamin that helps you understand politics
  – Avotart  -  Relieves the blues
  – Heevadart  -  Used as a complement to acupuncture
  – Brotox  -  Wrinkle cream for men
  – Spinderal  -  Relieves vertigo
  – Lyrica-Allegro-Concerto with Cymbalta  -  Taken by orchestra members before a performance to keep them upbeat
  – Premarrian  -  Relieves wedding day stress
  – Mercedes Benztyl  -  Soothes muscles sore from waxing your car
  – Nystatins  -  East coast heart disease treatment
  – Aspen-icillin  -  Antibiotic for ski injuries
  – Stroke-a-cola  -  Stops bleeding in the brain
  – Gaspirin  -  Take when out of breath
  – Drollaids  -  Improves your sense of humor
  – Bowlaids  – Two tablets and you throw nothing but strikes
  – Cadvil – Removes scoundrels and rogues from your love life
  – Abracadabravir – Removes your fear of magic
  – Cleptobismol  -  Stops thieves and upset stomach
  – Gerrytol  -  Mr Fleschmann’s medicine
  – Proxycontin  -  Ease the pain of voting for corporate officers
  – Stairoids – Helps arthritics up and down steps
  – Bonivaschmoniva  -  Placebo for women without osteoporosis
  – Norcolepsaway  -  Cures Scandinavian sleep disorders
  – Adderalup  -  A favorite to help CPAs concentrate.
  – Spinactin  -  Used in Hollywood by actors with an itch for an Oscar
  – Waldomet  – Take this and you’ll not only find Waldo, you’ll meet him
  – Oilbutterol  -  Reduces cholesterol (but we don’t know how)
  – Addedpex  -  For bigger chest muscles
  – AdapAbiline  -  Helps you accustom to your new home town in Texas
  – Essence of alphabet soup  -  Cures irritable vowel syndrome (irritable vowel syndrome: winner of September 2009 joke contest)
  – Scoldeeze  – Relieves discomfort after your boss chews you out
  – Mr Beano  -  Relieves discomfort after watching English comedians
  – Dr Schoolls  -  Foot care products that help you through podiatry college
  – Theraflute  -  Taken for sore lips after playing wind instruments
  – Halls of Montezuma  -  Marines use this for sore throat
  – Little vitamins A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z.   -  Take after reading too many Dr. Seuss books
  – And, the Tylenol jokes:
  – Crylenol  -  dries tears
  – Dielenol  -  eases the pain, but…
  – Guylenol  -  Relieves the pain of softball, football and basketball injuries
  – Frylenol  -  Relieves burns
  – Maitailenol  -  Hangover cure
  – Prylenol  -  Cures nosy people
  – Rilelenol  -  Cures road rage
  – Vielenol  -  Ease the stress of competition
  – Whylenol  -  Helps you solve life’s mysteries

Thanks to Marty for a lesson in creativity.  Remember that the value is in the process.  It’s not about winning a contest.

As winter draws to a close we have an appropriate cartoon for our March contest.  We feature the art of professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).

New Joke Contests are announced at the start of the month (alternating months).

Here is the cartoon:

Write as many captions as you can.  Then select your best three captions and submit them.  Deciding which lines are your best lines is a great discipline for discovering if what you think is funny is also found to be funny to others.  You can submit more than three lines, the extra lines will be eligible for honorable mention.  Only your first three lines will be judged by our panel of judges for first, second and third place.

Submit your top entries  to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by March 14, 2010.

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.

This month’s joke contest is Quirky Medications.  The top lines were selected by our panel of seven judges (improv players and speakers).

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).  The next joke contest is April 1, 2010.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month (alternating months).  The next caption contest is March 1, 2010.

Our web site was down for maintenance a couple of days earlier this month.  If you submitted lines during that period, your email should have been returned to you.  Hopefully you re-submitted and we didn’t miss any of your creative work.  Our apologies if we missed any submissions.

Here are the contest results:

** FIRST PLACE **

Aussiecotton:  Softens and protects any condition “Down Under.”
     Jim Spero, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

 ** SECOND PLACE **

Ibeloafin:  Takes away the desire to do anything.
     Darin Thompson, Smithfield, Utah, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

Frolic acid:  Makes you feel young again.
     Tom Nee, Oak Lawn, Illinois, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Dramaloeine:  Used for suntan lotion sickness.
  – Pettyocillin:  Helps lessen the obsession for Anal personalities.
  – Knowhatimine:  Improves ability to understand others.
  – Hydrocotton : A 200mg tablet used to almost guarantee victory in a wet T-shirt contest.
  – Slowmodium:  Calms Type A personalities.
  – Cleptomicin:  Cures the urge to steal.
  – Aspirin-G:  Eliminates the butterflies in young actresses and pageant contestants.
  – Ambien-T:  Works like mood lighting to quickly calm you down.
  – Lackconan:  An expensive pill that is hard for NBC execs to swallow.
  – Tabloida:  Helps you to discern fact from fiction in those supermarket mags.
  – Verbatem-EX:  Helps you to understand exactly what your former spouse is telling you.
  – Clearitin 20-20:  Eliminates the need for eyeglasses.
  – Lacktact acid:  Helps you to be kinder to others.
  – Bowtox & Bagels:  For Plastic Surgery Group Operations in a Jewish Medical Center.
  – Thatdopamine:  Helps you to get along better with your better half.
  – Bennzoil:  Lubricates those creaky joints.
  – Corleone cream:  Works well on gunshot wounds.
  – Zooloft: brings out the animal in you.
  – Mummidefier:  Makes you VERY quiet.
  – Waistaway:  A diet drug.
  – Bentadrill:  Anger control for do-it-yourselfers who abuse their tools.
  – Botoxycontin:  Pain killer for facelifts.
  – Ibeproofin:  Pain killer for overworked copy editors.

If you watched the Olympic Opening Ceremonies from Vancouver, you probably noticed the problem with the lighting of the Olympic Torch.  According to the plan, four pillars were to rise out of the floor to become part of the torch.  One of the pillars had a mechanical failure and never appeared.  Although it seemed longer, the wait time was more than two minutes as the network narrators began commenting on the situation.  TV hosts said the torch bearers were “all dressed up with no place to go.” 

This situation is not unlike a speaking or performing situation when something goes astray.  Your mind goes blank, a prop malfunctions, or you tell your best joke and nobody laughs.

Time is Relative
Time is measured differently by someone facing a problem during a performance.  When you’re speaking and your mind goes blank for five seconds, it will seem much longer.  That five seconds may not even be noticed by the audience…especially if you don’t draw attention to it.

It’s Your Secret
The torch bearers were wearing ear pieces.  They were told about the pillar problem and to “keep smiling and keep waving.”  It’s the same thing with an issue during your speech.  Keep smiling and the audience may never know.

Avoid Making the Problem Worse
A stage-wait, or an unintentional pause during a performance, demands that you improvise and go with the flow.  Make a “command decision” and move on.  The longer you wait, the more attention it draws to the problem, the more tension it creates, and the more you wait.  The quicker you move forward, the more invisible the problem becomes.

At the Opening Ceremonies, the audience at home with high-definition TVs might see you sweating…but most of the audience in the stadium will never notice.

During a speech when your mind goes blank, if you accept it and move on, most of the audience will never notice.  It’s OK to be human.  Sometimes we forget.  Being honest with the audience is often a good choice.

Throw out the script.
Don’t fall into the trap of being a slave to the script.  If the script calls for four pillars, don’t knock yourself out complying with the script.  If a speech calls for a third point, and you can’t remember what that point is…skip that part of the speech.  The reality is that the audience doesn’t know what’s on the script.  When something happens (no matter what it is), that is what was supposed to happen (from the viewpoint of the audience). 

Improvise.
Improvise and go with the flow.  The improv principle is called “Yes…And.”  Here’s how it works.  You receive an offer (one pillar isn’t working).  You accept the offer and you add to it.  “Yes…we have only three pillars…and we will light them!”  The quicker you “Yes…And” the offer the more seamless will be the performance.  By applying “Yes…And” to a problem, you help to make it a non-issue.    Plan B will appear to be Plan A to the audience.

Learn From Every Experience
Every time you make a mistake, learn from it.  When you see someone else stumble in a speech, learn a lesson from their experience.  And when you see something at the Olympics deviate from the script, be a student.  Ask yourself, what can I learn.  You’ll be wiser and better prepared the next time you take the platform.

Here is an opportunity for you to see and hear an Observational Humor monologue presented on January 25, 2010.  It was delivered at the end of a program, “Good to Great — Speech coaching with Patricia Fripp and Darren LaCroix.”  This was a special event sponsored by PowerHouse Pros Toastmasters Club.

Here is what Patricia Fripp and Darren LaCroix said about the humor:

“You ROCKED. Wow…that was funny.”  Patricia Fripp.

“You were hysterical!”  Darren LaCroix

And here are a couple of comments from people who watched the program on the Internet:

“John Kinde ROCKS!  He had me and the audience rolling in the aisles.  I love his observational humor.”  Bruce Ellingsen

“I’m still laughing.  Wow!  You made it look so easy.”  Patty K, Victoria, BC, Canada

The video link is at the end of this post.  You will have two choices:

  – You can listen to the entire program and experience it as the audience did.  The content is terrific and your 95 minutes would be well spent viewing the entire program.  You’ll also have more insight on the set-ups and the punchlines.  It’s almost like “being there.”

  – You can “express view.”  First, read the SET-UP comments which are provided in the post.  Those comments, about what happened during the meeting, will put the humor in the proper context.  Then when you go to the link for the video, skip to the end to see the monologue.  It’s a 95 minute program and the monologue is in the last five minutes.

  – Note that most Observational Humor has a “You Had To Be There” factor.  As you study Observational Humor, don’t pay attention to what YOU think is funny, but note the AUDIENCE reaction to the monologue.  The audience response is the true measure of the power of Observational Humor.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the program, before the monologue was delivered.)

1.  Barbell was the last speaker to be coached, just before I was introduced to do my monologue.  Darren coached her to have a happy expression as she mimed looking at a baby:  “Your look couldn’t have been more stoic.”

2.  The first time Fripp critiqued a speaker using notes, she said:  “Yes, this is me…with my glasses.”

3.  Fripp shared weak word choices which some speakers use to bury their punchlines, like:  “each and every one of you here in this room.”  Also the adding of “today” or “tonight” at the end of a phrase.

4.  A speaker said “when you think of Panama…you think of cows.”  And she shared some funny connections.

5.  Darren owned a Subway sandwich shop and attended Subway University.  He related being a farmer and having an MBA to skills which work to make you a better speaker and comedian.

6.  In the past, Fripp told a John Cantu story about a speaker who shared that she was a cheerleader and that women in the audience might think, “I have fat thighs.  I hate you!”

7.  Darren said, “All of you have written a world-champion quality speech…you just haven’t finished yet.”

8.  Darren told us about weaving free speeches around his work-week when he started developing his speaking skills.

9.  Darren gave an example of how a speaker’s emotions were expressed when his facial expression went from excited to nothing.

10.  Dana, one of the speakers being coached, posted a profile on our club’s web site.  He wrote:  “I’ll let you call me a pretty boy.”

THE MONOLOGUE

Barbell could have looked more stoic. (Big laugh.  Because of the response, I dropped a scripted topper “She could have looked like me.”  The topper line was implied and the audience “got it” without my having to spell it out.  Usually an implied punchline is stronger than one which is stated.  At its core, this is a self-deprecation line, poking fun at my lack of expressiveness.  Also, recency helped make the line work.  Barbel was coached immediately before my monologue, which made my opening the best place to use it.)

Yes, this is me…with my glasses.  I’m going to share some funny lines with each and every one of you here in this room…tonight.
(Some simple callbacks.  Effective.)

I’m from North Dakota.  I grew up around cows.  I know what you’re thinking…Panama!
(A reversal.  Big laugh.  What helped make the line work was that Panama/Cows was a significant part of the program, not just a quick mention.)

I’m just like Darren.  I, too, am a farmer.  And I have an MBA. And of course you’re thinking, “No wonder he’s so funny.  And he did it without going to Subway University.”
(Callbacks liking things in common between Darren and me.  The Subway University topper was perfect.  The audience senses that the humor is over…and then you drop the unexpected, additional line on them, playing with the element of surprise.)

Did you notice that the people who aren’t laughing…have fat thighs?
(An excellent call back.)

I’ve written a funny monologue.  But I haven’t finished it yet.
(I twisted Darren’s sound-bite phrase to fit the writing of a monologue.)

Just like Darren, I worked a day job and gave free speeches at night.  I worked with nuclear weapons, sitting by the button which I never had to push.  And every night I spoke to a civic club…and bombed.
(“Things in common with Darren” becomes a running gag.  Also uses the double meaning of the word BOMB to trigger a laugh.)

You may have noticed that specific line worked because my facial expression went from nothing to nothing.
(Twisted a Darren phrase again.  Also self-deprecation.)

I was reviewing the club’s web site today and noticed that Dana’s profile says “It’s OK for you to call me Pretty Boy.”  What I want to know is, “How late is too late to call?”
(I actually had visited the club’s web site that day, but not for the purpose of creating humor.  I was asked to give feedback on the site by another member.  Since Dana had a significant role in the program, I decided to pull a quote from the site to wrap up the monologue.  I didn’t use the exact words from the site, but took the liberty of structuring the words to set up my punch line.  A strong closer.)

THE LINK.  When you click on the link to watch the video, you’ll have two choices.  You can watch the entire program (95 minutes) OR you can skip to the monologue which is in the last five minutes of the program.  Here is the video link.

I highly recommend Darren LaCroix’s Humor Boot Camp, April 30 – May 2.  Spend a three-day weekend in Las Vegas at an energizing and entertaining event.  You’ll discover a funnier you!

Don’t miss the Patricia Fripp Public Speaking and Presentation Skills School, June 10 – 11, 2010, in Las Vegas.  She is a world-class speaking coach and the school is one of the best investments you can make.

Our February Joke Contest theme is Quirky Medications.

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month, alternating months.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced on the first of the month, alternating months.  The next Cartoon Caption Contest is March 1, 2010.

For this month’s contest you are challenged to create names for new, non-existant medications and drugs.  Here are three examples:

Dramaflu:  Neutralizes the impact of drama queens.
Tetracycling:  Gives you the stamina to ride a bike for four hours.
Blowtox PM:  Eliminates the urge to be a late-night wind-bag.

Send your submissions to HumorPowerTips@HumorPower.com by February 14, 2010.  Your first three entries will be entered for our top-three recognition.

Here is another Observational Humor monologue from the second day of a Fripp Speakers School.

THE SET-UP (What happened and what was said during the workshop)

1.  Someone sitting next to Isaak mentioned that her fingers were tingling.  Someone else joked that it wasn’t BECAUSE she was sitting next to Isaak.

2.  Fripp said that Botox, used in facial cosmetic surgery, causes the face to lack expression.

3.  Fripp used a gesture when she said “the words” (fingers sweeping from below the chin to in front of the mouth).  She said that it had an obscene meaning in Italian, but that she wasn’t using it in that way.

4.  Fripp introduced a penalty-bowl and charged a one-dollar fine for anyone using the word STUFF.  Guy Burns was assessed more fines than anyone else.

5.  Fripp used the word CEREBRAL three times and had trouble pronouncing it each time she used it.

6.  When students asked questions, they were normally handed a microphone to capture the question on the recording.  A few times, the microphone didn’t reach them.  Fripp was wearing a wireless headset and would lean into them:  “Speak into my cheek.”

THE MONOLOGUE (Not delivered due to lack of time.)

I thought it would be appropriate, as the workshop ends, to answer some of your questions.  First, I’ll give you the answer and then I’ll read your question:  (The entire monologue is in the reverse-question format, popularized by Johnny Carson as Carnak the Magnificent. Most people are familiar with this format and those who are not seem to pick it up quickly, without a complicated explanation.)

The answer is:  My fingers started tingling.
And the question is:  What happened when you first met Isaac?
(Dropping myself into the story.)

The answer is:  Botox.
And the question is:  What is the key to your great deadpan delivery?
(Self deprecation.  A reference to my low-key delivery.)

The answer is:  No bookings in Italy.
And the question is:  What is the result of “the words” (doing the Italian gesture) Fripp uses?
(Using cause-and-effect to create a punchline.)

The answer is:  Guy Burns.
And the question is:  Who is a one-man money machine for the Stuff Bowl?
(A simple observation.  Funny because it’s something that everyone noticed.)

The answer is:  Cerebral.
And the question is:  What do Mensa members need to be, even if they can’t pronounce it?
(Makes the logical assumption that Fripp would be a likely candidate for Mensa and sets aside the pronunciation issue by making light of it.)

The answer is:  Speak into my cheek.
And the question is:  What has a dangerous double-meaning if you say it while bending over?
(Plays with the double meaning of the word CHEEK.  A good closer.)

We had a lot of fun entries for our January Cartoon Caption Contest.  The cartoon featured professional cartoonist Dan Rosandich.

New Cartoon Caption Contests are announced at the start of the month, alternating months.

New Joke Contests are announced on the first of the month, alternating months.

Here are this month’s top captions:

** FIRST PLACE **

I was right!  My ex-boyfriend was spineless!

     Carol Sauceda, Santa Barbara, California, USA

** SECOND PLACE **
 
Let’s speed it up! The other “Iron Surgeon America” team is almost ready to close.

     Sol  Morrison, Santa Barbara, California, USA

** THIRD PLACE **

We need to move it along here people.  I just found out our four-some’s tee-time has been moved up 2 hours.

     Tom Higgins, Lyons, Illinois, USA

HONORABLE MENTION (in random order)

  – Do we have time for a goup hug?
  – Simon didn’t say to cut.
  – When did we replace ultrasound with etch-a-sketch?
  – I’m not a nurse, I’m his wife, our health care doesn’t cover four professionals in the operating room!
  – Oh, that reminds me…I gotta pick up some kielbasa on my way home!
  – Well, sure, this “virtual patient” method does have its limits, but at least no one dies!
  – There goes his funny bone.  That’s $200 for me!  Oh, we’re not playing Operation?
  – The Orthopedist clearly said it was the left leg.
  – I thought YOU brought the heart.
  – This is the patient who swallowed 42 quarters last week.  No change yet.
  – Should we charge by the pound to take that out? 
  – Can someone please remind me where the appendix is located?
  – I’m not familiar with the internal organs of a ghost.
  – Who took my copy of “The Dummy’s Guide to Heart Surgery”?
  – I think this “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” can go a little too far.
  – Look! On the backbone: It’s the spine flu!
  – Oh my goodness! The backbone is not connected to the neck bone.
  – This patient’s heart is on the right side!
  – Be careful where you point that.
  – That is one ugly baby!
  – So that’s where I lost my nail clipper last month!
  – Now, I remember.  This is the woman my husband goes to on Thursdays and Fridays for Tango lessons!
  – I don’t know about you guys but I am really craving spaghetti for lunch.
  – Once you get the quarter out, I will rock, paper, scissors you for it.
  – Sometimes I pretend I am Barbara Streisand.
  – This patient is a democrat. We can’t operate, we’re a red state!

Visit cartoonist Dan Rosandich who has an extensive and in depth archive of categorized cartoons and cartoon pictures available for licensing at negotiable fees.

Let’s look at some Observational Humor from a Toastmasters meeting which highlight some humor techniques:

  – Call backs and running gags.
  – Dropping yourself into the story.
  – What this means is.
  – What everybody is thinking.

Here are some of the set-ups (what happened at the meeting), followed by the observational humor remarks.

The first set-up.  The Toastmaster of the evening (emcee) selected a meeting theme of Star Wars.  He said that he had obtained genuine Star Wars story boards from a vendor in Nigeria.  He had created humorous story boards based on the Star Wars movies which he used to transition from one part of the meeting to the next.

Since the story boards were a big part of the meeting I decided to open my monologue with my own story boards:

I’ve created story boards for my monologue. (I created two hand-drawn pictures.)  This is me delivering the monologue (me drawn as a stick figure).  This is you laughing (stick figures with smiley faces).  Now that we’ve set the ground rules…I’ll begin my monologue.
(My use of story boards might be considered a call back to those used by the emcee.  But I prefer to think of it as a continuation of a story-board running gag established by the emcee.  It worked perfectly.  Big laugh.)

The second set-up.  Members Jim and Anita (husband and wife) normally attend the meeting together.  That evening Jim came to the meeting without Anita.  Jim has a funny guy and always has something to contribute during the Observational Humor part of the meeting.

Jim said that he had recently made millions of dollars selling Star Wars story boards from Nigeria.
(Here he is “dropping himself into the story.”  Someone had established the Nigerian connection story, and Jim made himself part of that story.  He received a big laugh.)

As he took his seat, I followed his comments with an observation:
Did you notice?  Now that Jim has made millions…he’s leaving Anita at home!

A third set-up.  A speaker gave a humorous speech on goal setting.  He made a resolution that when people cut him off on the freeway he’ll no longer shout obscenities or give them the finger…at the same time.

Here’s an observational remark from my monologue based on that “goal.”
I had a bad experience driving to the meeting tonight.  As I approached the freeway exit, I changed lanes.  I pulled in front of a guy who started shouting obscenities.  After 15 seconds he stopped shouting obscenities and started giving me the finger.
(This is another example of “dropping yourself into the story.”  I became part of his story, which he had established in his goal setting speech.  Very big laugh.)

A fourth set-up to help us look at two more techniques.  In her opening remarks, our club President noted that we had 14 guests at the meeting.

Here’s my remark:
We have 14 guests at the meeting tonight.  If this is your first meeting, you’ll realize what that means is…our club only has three members.
(A couple of things set the stage for this joke.  First, I’m using the principle of “What that means is…”  When something happens or is said, you often have the opportunity of translating what that means “in other words.”  Second, the principle of “What everybody is thinking.”  We had about the average number of people attending the meeting, about 25, but had more guests than normal.  It was the Monday following the New Years weekend, and member attendance was lower than usual.  When our President said that we had 14 guests, quite likely some people may have thought “There’s more guests than members here,”  or some variation of that thought.  In constructing the joke I realized there were more than three members present, but I exaggerated the low member attendance to get the laugh.  And three is a funny number.)